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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 652771 times)

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4500 on: July 20, 2020, 07:14:57 pm »

Monet and the other Impressionists made interesting paintings that were far from photo-perfect, but those that adopted Pointillism were spot on!
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kingawsume

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4501 on: July 20, 2020, 07:35:45 pm »

Two nuns are sittin on a bench, when a man come up and exposes himself to them.
The first nun has a stroke.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Urist McZombie, werecarp, has taken form! A giant carp twisted into a humanoid form. Its eyes glow blue. Its fins are purple. Now you will know to fear the night.
"Problems with playing in evil biomes"

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4502 on: August 09, 2020, 03:00:23 am »

After a historic revolution in the world of French winemaking, there followed a dark period that became known as "The Terroir".
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Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4503 on: August 09, 2020, 05:17:07 am »

After a historic revolution in the world of French winemaking, there followed a dark period that became known as "The Terroir".
I didn't know this!

I suppose you could say that, for me, it was Terroir Incognita.

dragdeler

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4504 on: August 09, 2020, 05:28:58 am »

-
« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 05:21:01 pm by dragdeler »
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let

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4505 on: August 09, 2020, 07:06:10 am »

A priest and a rabbi go for a hike, it's very hot and they encounter a body of water, they decide to take a bath, naked as the lord created them. Suddenly a group of people goes by: the priest hides his genitals while the rabbi hides his faces. Later the priest asks the rabbi why he hid his face, and he answers: my community recognizes me by my face.

Took me a number of seconds to realize the implication. :P
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4506 on: August 09, 2020, 07:50:01 am »

A flash of inspiration?
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4507 on: August 09, 2020, 07:56:46 am »

A flash of inspiration?

And molestation.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4508 on: September 15, 2020, 10:51:46 pm »

(Based upon these two events and a little bit of mind wandering...)

The problem with buying a property using the rule of "location, location, location" is that you may then not reliably know its "momentum, momentum, momentum".

(...and can I also just say that I utterly dislike the phrase "...100 times smaller than..." in that link.)
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Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4509 on: September 16, 2020, 02:06:41 pm »

Shared in a Kik group:

Q: Why are monks so good at protesting?

A: Because the more Ohms you have, the greater the resistance

Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4510 on: September 21, 2020, 11:40:04 am »

Double-posting with no survivors.


*Knock knock*

1: Who's there?

2: Jesus' manger

1: Jesus' manger who?

2: Jesus' manger own damn business!

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4511 on: September 24, 2020, 08:08:44 am »

There's this guy at work who refuses to believe the Romans had central heating. Says that Big Archaeology is lying, and won't accept any evidence to the contrary.

He's a Hypocaust Denier.
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Yoink

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4512 on: September 25, 2020, 07:17:59 pm »

Quote from: A friend's Facebook post
Did you know a few of hitler's generals became animal doctors after the war? They were veteran aryans.
   
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4513 on: September 26, 2020, 11:22:40 am »

Quote from: A friend's Facebook post
Did you know a few of hitler's generals became animal doctors after the war? They were veteran aryans.
   

That is...

I hate it and I know exactly who I need to tell it to.

towerdude

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4514 on: October 02, 2020, 07:16:06 am »

I'v got a bull named Horri.

He has a very bad temper.

So I call him: Horribull! ;D
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Szuvas Fogbank the Skinny Innocent Inn-Dinner of Spinning

The spinning ☼dwarf leather earring☼ strikes the Spirit of Fire in the lower body!
The lower body flies off in an arc!

A new crazy succession game! Are you up to the challange? http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=114041.0
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