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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 514263 times)

dragdeler

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  • homunculus of resentment
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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4515 on: October 17, 2020, 08:29:44 pm »

idk man, can it hold a baby over a balcony?
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I hear a lot of talk, but not enough is said, and blows to the body help to soften up the head.

Yoink

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4516 on: October 17, 2020, 10:15:37 pm »

Cat name idea: Diane Kitten.   
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4517 on: October 18, 2020, 04:58:16 pm »

Cat name idea: Diane Kitten.   

I also like "Doug."
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1-28-21: Vengefulness is no longer stressful

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4518 on: October 19, 2020, 05:00:25 am »

Cat name idea: Diane Kitten.   

I also like "Doug."
You could name it Paul, but that would be ridiculous.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4519 on: October 19, 2020, 11:41:21 am »

(I am completely lost as to these name jokes)

Code: [Select]
// get tomorrows date
int getTomorrowsDate() {
  sleep(1000*60*60*24);
  return getCurrentDate();
}
(Not mine, though I think I slightly corrected it)
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They/them
Black lives matter.

Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4520 on: October 19, 2020, 11:48:14 am »

(I am completely lost as to these name jokes)

Code: [Select]
// get tomorrows date
int getTomorrowsDate() {
  sleep(1000*60*60*24);
  return getCurrentDate();
}
(Not mine, though I think I slightly corrected it)

Some good programming.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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1-28-21: Vengefulness is no longer stressful

King Zultan

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4521 on: October 20, 2020, 03:41:17 am »

I'm not 100% sure on this one
Its from a quote by Adam West.
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4522 on: October 21, 2020, 09:09:09 am »

(Terribly taken out of context.)

Im scared and I need my mommy
Your mommy's so fat that...
We all do.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4523 on: October 21, 2020, 10:38:32 pm »

God hates catholics, and I can prove it logically.
  • God made man in his own image.
  • Everybody else hates catholics.
  • All catholics hate themselves.


I put this joke in this thread less because it's offensive and more because it doesn't work very well at all.
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You wouldn't know evil if it wore gold armor, or good if it crept in the shadows.

methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4524 on: October 29, 2020, 03:29:28 am »

I think I'm plagiarizing this contradiction from somewhere (or got inspired by something, same difference), but it's not here, so...

Fellas, is it gay to be straight? I mean, you're attracted to women who are attracted to men, and that's kinda gay.
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4525 on: October 29, 2020, 12:56:19 pm »

Well, any man viewing hardcore (straight) porn has to see past the junk... For all the fancy camera angles and contrived poses, you'll probably have to consciously ignore the asshole onscreen, or somehow imagine that you're that asshole.
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Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4526 on: November 01, 2020, 02:28:27 pm »

For Halloween I went as my birth gender!
It was very convincing, and at least one person was horrified.
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They/them
Black lives matter.

Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4527 on: November 01, 2020, 03:23:16 pm »

The horror, the horror.
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You wouldn't know evil if it wore gold armor, or good if it crept in the shadows.

Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4528 on: November 02, 2020, 03:17:04 am »

I've been learning a bit of rope art this year, so I decided to make use of those skills while at the CAH-DnD gathering some friends pulled together for Saturday. Namely by strapping a box of cereal to my chest and calling my costume done.


I was a cereal ropist.

And, as such, I was required to inform those present that I was a registered Chex offender.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4529 on: November 02, 2020, 08:17:41 am »

Twain held up at a whale-weigh station.

(It's funny, and not potentially a tragedy, due to a huge fluke!)
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