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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 646932 times)

GaxkangtheUnbound

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #60 on: November 19, 2012, 09:03:17 am »

Doing lightbulb jokes now, are we?
How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One to screw it in, three to say how better they could have done it
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Cthulhu

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #61 on: November 19, 2012, 09:15:44 am »

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

------

The President of the United States is George W. Bush (That's not the joke).  He's sitting at his desk when an advisor bursts in, shouting "Mr. President!  Foreign terrorists have hijacked planes and flown them into multiple important structures!  Thousands are dead!"  The President is momentarily taken aback, but steels himself.  As the Father of the Nation, he must not falter.  He says "Schedule a press conference, the people need their leader right now."  The advisor nods.

Moments later, a second advisor bursts in, "Mr. President!  A massive hurricane has struck Louisiana, New Orleans is all but leveled!"  Bush seems a  little disheveled this time, but he regains his composure and says "Divert all available resources to the relief effort, we will not abandon our  countrymen in their time of need."

A third advisor bursts in.  "Mr. President!  The housing bubble has burst and banks are crippled with billions in toxic assets!  They're calling it the next great depression!"  The stress is too much for poor Mr. Bush, with a low gurgle, he melts into a pool on the floor.  The advisors stand around, not sure how to react. 

"This just won't do, I already scheduled a press conference!" The first exclaims.

The second thinks about it, "I have an idea!  Let's create a Bush-shaped mold and pour him into it, then leave it in the freezer until the conference.  Maybe he'll turn back to normal!"

The third shakes his head.  "I don't know about that...  We might set a President."
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The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #62 on: November 19, 2012, 09:20:52 am »

Those were both incredibly painful and I love you for them.
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Aptus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #63 on: November 19, 2012, 10:21:56 am »

What is the most effective line of code? The assembly line!

Why is the processor so ridiculous? It was designed in Xilinx.

What do you call a bow that fires bows which fires bows? A recursive bow.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who do not. -> How can there be -2 kinds of people in the world!?

for(int x = 0; x>-1; x++){ System.out.println("Let me reiterate!");}

When writing feministic code, it is hard to follow the OOP.

For BBQ's I prefer 3735928559.

drinkAnotherBeer(){
drinkAnotherBeer();}
Stack overflow?
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Heron TSG

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #64 on: November 19, 2012, 12:42:04 pm »

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who do not. -> How can there be -2 kinds of people in the world!?
With 2's compliment signing, there can in fact be -1. I believe the root of the answer is imagination.
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MonkeyHead

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #65 on: November 19, 2012, 12:47:23 pm »

Has anyone posted any of the comedian Tim Vine's classics yet?

For example: http://www.conjunctivitus.co.uk/ - A site for sore eyes.
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Aptus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #66 on: November 19, 2012, 01:00:46 pm »

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who do not. -> How can there be -2 kinds of people in the world!?
With 2's compliment signing, there can in fact be -1. I believe the root of the answer is imagination.

10 by two-complement is: 01 + 01 = 10. So 10 is -2 for signed two-bit binary. If you wanted to represent -1 you would have to write 11. 11 = 00 + 01 = -1.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #67 on: November 19, 2012, 01:01:35 pm »

Right, I was thinking 1's compliment.
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
The Artist Formerly Known as Barbarossa TSG

Remalle

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #68 on: November 19, 2012, 02:11:07 pm »

How many folk singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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RedWarrior0

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #69 on: November 19, 2012, 02:12:25 pm »

No, there are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand (unsigned) ternary, those who don't, and those expecting a binary joke.
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10ebbor10

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #70 on: November 19, 2012, 02:27:51 pm »

A Belgian, a Bulgarian, a Dane, a german, a frenchman, a greek, a Hungarian, an Irishman, an Italian, a Luxembourger, a Dutchman, an Austrian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Romanian, a Slovak, a Spaniard, a Brit an a Swede all enter a bar.

You know, these jokes used to be funnier.
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Flying Dice

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #71 on: November 19, 2012, 03:07:16 pm »

Drawing on personal experience a bit here...


How many deckhands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Aurora on small monitors:
1. Game Parameters -> Reduced Height Windows.
2. Lock taskbar to the right side of your desktop.
3. Run Resize Enable

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #72 on: November 19, 2012, 03:18:35 pm »

How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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MonkeyHead

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #73 on: November 19, 2012, 03:20:01 pm »

How many Physicists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the lightbulb, one to rotate the reference frame of the universe with respect to the lightbulb.
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dei

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #74 on: November 19, 2012, 05:43:30 pm »

How do you get a baby into a bowl?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How do you get the baby back out?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...You said terrible jokes, I gave you some.
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