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[hops]

What do you call a society ruled by folk musicians?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A mariachy

[a1s]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Did you hear? There is a joke contest about Stalin!
The primary award is fifty years, the secondary twenty five!

in a similar vein:
A judge come out of the Hall of Justice laughing. A colleague asks him why he is laughing, so he replies:
- I just heard the most amazing joke.
- Will you tell it [to me]?
- Are you crazy? I just sentenced a man to 10 years for that!

A new prisoner arrives to the soviet prison, so the inmates start asking him questions:
- How many years did they give you?
- 10 - he says.
- What did you do?
- Nothing.
- You're lying - the inmates say- they only give 5 years for nothing.

And finally this one is not very good (so it fits right in, see?) but I like the flow:

Two men are in a tram in the 1950s. One asks the other:
- Do you know what the difference is between Earth and Space? A dog's life is ended it space but it continues on Earth.
- Ah -says the other - but do you know what the difference is between you and this tram? The tram will go on it's way, but you're going with me. - he pulls out his KGB id.
- Oh -says the first again- but do you know what the difference is between you and me? None at all. - he also pulls out his KGB id.

[Comrade P.]

Two men are in a tram in the 1950s. One asks the other:
- Do you know what the difference is between Earth and Space? A dog's life is ended it space but it continues on Earth.
- Ah -says the other - but do you know what the difference is between you and this tram? The tram will go on it's way, but you're going with me. - he pulls out his KGB id.
- Oh -says the first again- but do you know what the difference is between you and me? None at all. - he also pulls out his KGB id.

That's... good. So good.

[Tack]

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please Latvian, Is so cold.

That's right, it's post-soviet kicking bag country joke time!

Spoiler: Yeah, it's kinda dark (click to show/hide)

If latvian have two potato and then get another potato, how many potatoes have?
Premise ridiculous- no man are have two potato.

Three latvian are sit at bar.
First latvian say 'My son are have best life, he is farmer, can grow as many potato as like'
All are nod.
Second latvian say 'My son are have best life, he is soldier, can have as many rape as like'.
All are nod.
Third latvian say 'My son are have best life, he die at birth, troubles are already over.'
all agree, third son have it best.
but all are sad.

Two latvian look at sky.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Whole sky is cloud. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

Latvian hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato"
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is KGB.
There no potato.

Edit: For those that don't enjoy being triggered, the wood shop post in the sad thread caused me to think up this scorcher.

Once upon a time Jim was about to eat a hotdog when he saw a sauce bottle with a lightning bolt on it. He knew it was hotsauce, but was really curious about it, so he tried to open the squeeze top, causing it to spill on his arm- and it stung! Startled, Jim went to wash off, but saw that it had left a nasty rash.

The next day when he woke up, he noticed that his rash had worsened. Not only had it gotten darker, but it had seemed to localize on two equidistant spots on his forearm. Curious, he touched one of the sores on his arm, but he didn't feel anything. Touching the other one yielded a similar result, but when he touched them both together, they zapped him!

Curious about this new source of electricity, Jim hid his arm wounds all through the day at school until Shop Class. Spotting an electric saw, he grabbed the power cable and Jammed It Straight Into His Arm!
The saw whirred into life, and then Jimmy immediately dropped dead, drained of energy.

The moral of the story is:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

POWER SAUCE POWER SORES ARE NOT A POWER SOURCE FOR POWER SAWS

[Graknorke]

Two latvian look at sky.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Whole sky is cloud. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

My sides should not be this far gone at this time of night.

[Tack]

Why did princess Diana cross the road?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Newton's Second Law.

[timferius]

Was going to say, too soon? Then realized it's been 18 bloody years. Half of the members here probably weren't even born when she died...

[Arx]

The accident is old enough to drive legally; hopefully it doesn't get drunk.

[hops]

For a moment I thought Princess Diana was a disney princess.

[pisskop]

True fact:  Everybody ever was distraught over her death.  Just like Elvis, Princess Diana shall live in our hearts always.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

.-. I don't know who she is
I've just heard about her
I've also heard a terrible joke about her that I half understand but don't really want to say

[origamiscienceguy]

How does every Russian Joke Start?

Looking over your shoulder.

[Bohandas]

For a moment I thought Princess Diana was a disney princess.

That's a reasonable mistake given that real-life princesses are not normally relevant.

[timferius]

Kids these days *shakes stick*

[4maskwolf]

How does every Russian Joke Start?

Looking over your shoulder.

hehehe.