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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 284402 times)

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3000 on: December 29, 2015, 07:58:35 pm »

The version I heard goes like:

There's an American, an Englishman and a Mexican on a boat that begins sinking because it's overloaded.

The Englishman throws his tea overboard saying 'we have plenty of tea back home.'

The Mexican throws his beans overboard saying 'we have plenty of beans back home.'

The American throws the Mexican overboard saying 'we have plenty of Mexican's back home.'
We've got that one in Germany too, except with a Dutch guy, a Turkish guy, and a German. 'Wir haben zuhause eh zu viele davon.'

Not a joke I'd usually tell, really.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3001 on: December 29, 2015, 08:08:55 pm »

The New Zealand version:

There's an Asian, an Islander (i.e. Pacific Islands), and a Maori on a plane. The pilot says, "the plane's about to crash, we need to lighten the load"
The Asian takes off his shoes and throws them off, saying "we have plenty of those where I come from"
The Islander takes off his shirt and throws it off, saying "we have plenty of those where I come from"
The Maori picks up the Asian and throws him off, saying "we have plenty of those where I come from"
That's totally racist. The others were understandable, but you just took it waaay to far. [/sarcasm]
yeah there's not a single white person in sight

so much for diversity huh
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a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3002 on: December 29, 2015, 08:53:38 pm »

totally racist.
Alright.

An elf, a human, a dwarf and an ork are flying on a dragon (consensualy- the dragon is being compensated in a fair manner determined by flyer's union) and the dragon is shot (for reasons other than being a dragon.) The non-gender specific people of various races look around and discover they only have 3 scrolls of featherfall.
So, the dwarf says "I have 17 children and 3 wives, I have to survive", grabs a scroll and jumps off.
Then the elf says "I'm the smartest one here, so I have to survive", grabs a scroll and jumps off.
The ork says "We orks, for reasons unrelated to racism are always ready to die, and since we're such good friends, human (or whatever- I'm raceblind) I'm going to give the last scroll to you"
"No need " says human (or the ork, it doesn't matter. Maybe it was the human who was all self-sacrificial. You don't know, because this joke isn't racist.) "the smartest person on this dragon just jumped out with my lunch menu".
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origamiscienceguy

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3003 on: December 29, 2015, 08:55:41 pm »

I bet it was a black dragon because it got shot.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3004 on: December 29, 2015, 08:56:44 pm »

I bet it was a black dragon because it got shot.

Oh shots fired!

... Otherwise they wouldn't be in this mess.
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Dutrius

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3005 on: December 29, 2015, 09:54:39 pm »

Why not give the scroll to the dragon, so they all survive?
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3006 on: December 29, 2015, 09:55:46 pm »

Why not give the scroll to the dragon, so they all survive?
...Because that ruins the joke?
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Kot

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3007 on: December 29, 2015, 10:02:10 pm »

Because that would be somewhere between 0.25-0.5 on Henderson Scale of Plot Derailment. Fucking players always trying to outwit the GM.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3008 on: December 29, 2015, 10:03:50 pm »

You want the negative numbers.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3009 on: December 29, 2015, 10:06:08 pm »

You want the negative numbers.

You would know :P

Alternatively, that's just what you want, Mr. Railroad.
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Kot

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3010 on: December 29, 2015, 10:10:51 pm »

No, Henderson Scale doesn't depend on wether they're succesful in what they do, it depends on wether they do what DM wants, and if the DM gets them into situation like this when there are three scrolls and four people in party, he totally intends one to almost die or something, beause:
a) He's a dick
b) He wants to see who will be left behind
c) The abandoned person will totally survive and have a chance to get back on their old friends arses, drama ensues

Because, well, that's what a good, dickish DM would do.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3011 on: December 30, 2015, 12:13:32 am »

@Kot:Go read the scale again.  Then come back.
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Henderson_Scale_of_Plot_Derailment

Quote
-0.5 Hendersons   The action undertaken has solved the current plot, and nearly solved the main subplot. It has also had a minutely positive effect on the main plot and the game universe as a whole, outside of your party.
I'd peg giving the scroll to the dragon as about a... -0.35
« Last Edit: December 30, 2015, 12:20:26 am by TheBiggerFish »
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3012 on: December 30, 2015, 12:28:21 am »

I'd say that Kot is right, given that I don't think any GM would necessarily anticipate a player giving a scroll of featherfall to a flying beast, and would thus would be somewhat thrown by the idea for a moment.

Certainly to the point of being a .25 on the scale from all the players processing the "What the fu- hey that might actually work..." while the GM frantically tries to figure out how to keep things going the way they wanted it to.

'cause obviously having fewer scrolls than party members, they had plans beyond the broken beasty, even if it was just to get rid of a shitty annoying PC.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3013 on: December 30, 2015, 12:33:49 am »

Yes, but the effects of that are clearly towards SOLVING plot issues, not derailing the plot.
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Kot

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3014 on: December 30, 2015, 12:45:01 am »

You still don't get. It's not about solving the plot issues. By your logic, Henderson basically solved the plot issues at -1 Hendersons when he killed Hastur, which isin't a thing. He made full 2 Hendersons because, well, uh, he killed Hastur which shouldn't fucking happen. Goddamnit, by your logic That Guy Destroys Psionics did it, and he's the only one who actually passed two full Hendersons. It's about not doing what the guy running the game wanted or anticipated you to do. While you may argue he wanted it to go this way, it would be fucking hard to anticipate them giving feather fall to a goddamn injurned dragon. After all, it was the DM who, more or less, caused the dragon to be shoot at.
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