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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 472067 times)

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3015 on: December 30, 2015, 01:12:19 am »

HEY, THAT WAS FUNNY, BAD.

+1

I shall also sig it, because yeah.

Edit: With 16 character remaining, no less.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3016 on: December 30, 2015, 01:13:53 am »

I need to make a sig thread post...
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3017 on: December 30, 2015, 01:19:27 am »

What?! It was funny?! And sigged?! I do not understand! It was just a tired joke! I didn't even have a punchline!
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3018 on: December 30, 2015, 01:22:16 am »

What?! It was funny?! And sigged?! I do not understand! It was just a tired joke! I didn't even have a punchline!

Old Man Henderson is the punchline! He's like Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer and The Most Interesting Man In The World all rolled into one.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3019 on: December 30, 2015, 01:22:24 am »

Old Man Henderson throws the plane out the door, saying "we have plenty of these where I'm from."
Sounds like a punchline to me, right Rupert?
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Kot

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3020 on: December 30, 2015, 01:23:13 am »

It's the Terrible Jokes thread man, in theory you did exactly what you were expected to.
What?! It was funny?! And sigged?! I do not understand! It was just a tired joke! I didn't even have a punchline!

Old Man Henderson is the punchline! He's like Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer and The Most Interesting Man In The World all rolled into one.
He can be all those, but he'll never be Sly Marbo, or the Universe would cease to exist.
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Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3021 on: December 30, 2015, 02:31:32 pm »

Here's a good one I just found here

"You have hree apples and Jamal takes two of them. Whzt color is Jamal?"
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Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3022 on: December 30, 2015, 03:02:20 pm »

Elf dwarf Orc human dragon one makes me think of rich guy smart guy, old guy, schoolkid, plane.

Only three parachutes, "I'm too rich to die", "I'm too smart to die", 'you're too young to die'
- "don't bother. Rich guy took my schoolbag".


---
What's brown and hairy and deadly when it falls out of trees?
A Gorilla.

What's even deadlier?
An Angry Gorilla.

Why is it angry?
It just got nailed by a coconut.

How many gorillas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One gorilla. Many lightbulbs.

What time is it when a gorilla is sitting on your fence?
Time to get a new fence.

What do you give a 300lb gorilla?
Whatever the fuck it wants.

Why did the gorilla cross the road?
It didn't want to seem like a chimpansy.
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Sonlirain

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3023 on: December 30, 2015, 03:26:10 pm »

Those remind me of the jokes spoken by Erasmus in the first Quest for glory.

Have you heard the joke about the witches broom?
No?
How odd it's sweeping the valley!

He had like 7 different jokes that loop and most of them were puns. Can't really recall much beyond the broom of doom one.
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IcyTea31

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3024 on: December 30, 2015, 04:34:22 pm »

What do you give a 300lb gorilla?
Whatever the fuck it wants.
Did you know one can legally, even as a civilian, buy military APCs and even tanks for personal use? Question is, where may one drive that 30-ton heavily armoured tracked vehicle? Where ever the fuck one wants.
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Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3025 on: December 30, 2015, 06:26:28 pm »

Here's a good one I just found here
Heh. Lots of shitty jokes here but I found one that's not bad.

A man walks into a library and says, " Do you have any books on poor eyesight?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3026 on: December 30, 2015, 06:42:56 pm »

What do you give a 300lb gorilla?
Whatever the fuck it wants.
Did you know one can legally, even as a civilian, buy military APCs and even tanks for personal use? Question is, where may one drive that 30-ton heavily armoured tracked vehicle? Where ever the fuck one wants.

Which makes me want to buy an APC and strip the armor/other crap I won't need off, use it for whatever the fuck. It would make a great snowplow, tractor, hopefully wont get stuck in the mud all the damn time. I'd never be late for work because my car got stuck in four inches of snow at the bottom of the driveway again.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3027 on: December 30, 2015, 06:46:27 pm »

Here's a good one I just found here
Heh. Lots of shitty jokes here but I found one that's not bad.

A man walks into a library and says, " Do you have any books on poor eyesight?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yeah, that one belongs in the other thread.
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Spehss _

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3028 on: December 30, 2015, 07:31:55 pm »

Another one from Sickipedia.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3029 on: December 30, 2015, 07:35:05 pm »

That was actually pretty funny
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