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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 646970 times)

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3195 on: February 25, 2016, 11:12:57 pm »

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It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
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<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

Culise

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3196 on: February 25, 2016, 11:16:30 pm »

What will a robotic metal grinder say to a really hard thing?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ooh, that reminds me.  Real programmers don't take big bytes. They just nybble a bit.

EDIT:
Oh God, imagine skull-fucking a moray eel - those pharyngeal jaws would be nasty...
When of your dong you're divest, and it's left to digest, that's a moray.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2016, 11:26:18 pm by Culise »
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3197 on: February 25, 2016, 11:37:56 pm »

*stares*

Wrong thread, that was funny.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3198 on: February 26, 2016, 05:56:00 am »

Oh God, imagine skull-fucking a moray eel - those pharyngeal jaws would be nasty...
When of your dong you're divest, and it's left to digest, that's a moray.
Culise confirmed for William McGonagal.
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3199 on: February 26, 2016, 08:10:24 am »



What do you call it when it is so dark that you can only see the light from the west?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3200 on: February 26, 2016, 08:13:06 am »

What do you call it when it is so dark that you can only see the light from the west?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hey, this one is not bad, in a way.
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“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3201 on: February 26, 2016, 09:23:03 am »

Oh God, imagine skull-fucking a moray eel - those pharyngeal jaws would be nasty...
When of your dong you're divest, and it's left to digest, that's a moray.
Culise confirmed for William McGonagal.
In a field there was a coo.

It must've moved, 'cause it's no' there noo.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3202 on: March 03, 2016, 06:43:30 pm »


The Flintstones called. They want their joke back.

What's a programmer's favorite candy? A Push Pop.

I need T.P. for my Indians.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2016, 11:19:50 pm by Bumber »
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3203 on: March 20, 2016, 05:26:06 pm »

A woman visits her shrink, and complains that she's a control freak.
The shrink tells her not to worry, because all women are control freaks.
She then complains about being insecure.
The shrink tells her not to worry, because all women are insecure.
She tells him that she's not sure whether she's reassured or insulted by this.
The shrink says not to worry, because all women are indecisive.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

IcyTea31

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3204 on: March 20, 2016, 11:26:17 pm »

So, uh...when are you going to give us the punchline?
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3205 on: March 21, 2016, 09:32:31 am »

So, uh...when are you going to give us the punchline?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Comrade P.

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3206 on: March 21, 2016, 09:48:24 am »

So, uh...when are you going to give us the punchline?

I'm trying to make a joke about the punch line  as a queue for a forced late abortion operation, but I can't arrange the words right. Have my idea and be creative.
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3207 on: March 21, 2016, 10:43:16 am »

I'm trying to make a joke about the punch line  as a queue for murder, but I can't arrange the words right. Have my idea and be creative.

How about "I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown, but was late to the punchline"?

Or here's a criminal prank: ask someone if they wanted to get in line to hear a joke. If they say "yes"- sucker punch them, saying "sorry, but this is the punch line".
« Last Edit: March 21, 2016, 10:47:29 am by a1s »
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3208 on: March 21, 2016, 06:04:22 pm »

Why did the dirty limerick have to live off of food stamps?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3209 on: March 27, 2016, 06:17:14 am »

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They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.
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