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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 654705 times)

a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3885 on: November 21, 2017, 07:42:30 pm »

Q: How does the army deal with their soldiers gambling?
A: The confine them to their quarters.
That joke is pretty horrible, but I have a worse one:
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I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Culise

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3886 on: November 22, 2017, 12:06:21 am »

On that note, this one made me wince.
He, much like an onion, has layers.
Cakes have layers, too.
So do henhouses.
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kingawsume

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3887 on: November 22, 2017, 01:47:03 pm »

Spoiler: Image. (click to show/hide)
Isn't that just shitposting?
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Urist McZombie, werecarp, has taken form! A giant carp twisted into a humanoid form. Its eyes glow blue. Its fins are purple. Now you will know to fear the night.
"Problems with playing in evil biomes"

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3888 on: November 22, 2017, 03:16:40 pm »

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Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3889 on: November 22, 2017, 04:00:07 pm »

What does a nomad from Mongolia and a teacher from Berlin have in common?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Ultimuh

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Sheb

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3891 on: December 04, 2017, 06:00:15 am »

So a man from Barcelona is marrying. Before he go into the Church, his father gives him some advice.
"So, son, when you enter your home after the ceremony, you will carry your wife, because to be a Catalan is to be strong."
"I will dad."
"Then you will take a shower, because to be a Catalan, is to be clean."
"I will dad."
"And then, you will gently peck her on the cheek and sleep, because to be a Catalan is to be amourous".
"Wait? I'm not to make love to her?"
"No son, you will jerk off yourself, because to be a Catalan is to be autonomous and independent!"
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Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3892 on: December 05, 2017, 07:54:40 am »

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to use this server to post self-created memes, but whatever.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3893 on: December 06, 2017, 04:23:25 am »

What would you name a submarine crewed by the mentally challenged, quadraplegics, and comatose?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3894 on: December 07, 2017, 02:53:23 pm »

I came up with a headline for France's recent butter shortage.
"Making French Bread Without Real Butter isn't a Pain"
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kingawsume

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3895 on: December 07, 2017, 04:52:13 pm »

Old one I read somewhere years ago: 3 nuns are sitting on a bench when a man walks up and exposes himself to them. 2 of the nuns have a stroke.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Urist McZombie, werecarp, has taken form! A giant carp twisted into a humanoid form. Its eyes glow blue. Its fins are purple. Now you will know to fear the night.
"Problems with playing in evil biomes"

TD1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3896 on: December 07, 2017, 04:54:16 pm »

The most terrible joke of all.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3897 on: December 07, 2017, 05:08:02 pm »

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Reelya

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3898 on: December 07, 2017, 05:55:31 pm »

Actually, i didn't realize she points instead of holding the staff until i took a closer look. | On Discord, post this image and scroll the list of people there until you find your target.

Uhh, how is she pointing? If she's holding the staff, then her finger cannot be in front of the staff and pointing, it would have to be wrapped around it from behind.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3899 on: December 07, 2017, 06:21:50 pm »

Actually, i didn't realize she points instead of holding the staff until i took a closer look. | On Discord, post this image and scroll the list of people there until you find your target.

Uhh, how is she pointing? If she's holding the staff, then her finger cannot be in front of the staff and pointing, it would have to be wrapped around it from behind.
I was thinking it was her thumb (round the nearside of the staff) as part of the grip with the mitten-like fingers (coming from around the rear) and confused with a small unknown fragment of near-skin-colour sleeve-lining, maybe. But I'm no expert on chibi-stylisation of manipulatory end-effectors, and you can't see much of the other hand to clear up the artistic intention.

(Still, it's a good re-meme. I can even suspend my own gut interpretation to accept the intended concept. Carry on!)
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