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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 646897 times)

Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4545 on: November 01, 2020, 02:28:27 pm »

For Halloween I went as my birth gender!
It was very convincing, and at least one person was horrified.
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She/they
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Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4546 on: November 01, 2020, 03:23:16 pm »

The horror, the horror.
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Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4547 on: November 02, 2020, 03:17:04 am »

I've been learning a bit of rope art this year, so I decided to make use of those skills while at the CAH-DnD gathering some friends pulled together for Saturday. Namely by strapping a box of cereal to my chest and calling my costume done.


I was a cereal ropist.

And, as such, I was required to inform those present that I was a registered Chex offender.

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4548 on: November 02, 2020, 08:17:41 am »

Twain held up at a whale-weigh station.

(It's funny, and not potentially a tragedy, due to a huge fluke!)
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TD1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4549 on: November 02, 2020, 11:40:50 am »

Dammit, I misread the title as Terraria Jokes and got excited.
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Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4550 on: November 06, 2020, 12:21:42 pm »

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Tomasque

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4551 on: November 15, 2020, 05:53:40 am »

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Wait a moment... I remember seeing this one before...

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's what I thought! Don't think you'll get away that easily, joke thief!  :P
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IonMatrix

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4552 on: November 15, 2020, 09:43:19 am »

ptw
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"Mutagen"! Such a lovely word! I simply MUST have more mutagen!

*sigh* I can't believe I play this game...

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4553 on: November 15, 2020, 05:40:30 pm »

What do you call a writing utensil with wings?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4554 on: November 15, 2020, 10:14:07 pm »

What do you call someone who breeds tarantulas?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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KittyTac

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4555 on: November 16, 2020, 11:05:58 pm »

I tried to carry a board game onto an airplane but the airport security stopped me and confiscated it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4556 on: December 16, 2020, 08:32:39 pm »

Known shitbag Eric Clapton's in the news again, so I guess it's that time.


I heard Conor Clapton's doing National Novel Writing Month.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4557 on: December 18, 2020, 05:09:24 pm »

Where did Damian Hirst buy the materials for his artwork 'The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living'?

At a Sharkuterie.
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Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4558 on: December 19, 2020, 11:46:16 pm »

No fun wordplay in this one, just a gotcha-joke I took a while to get.

In Fallen London I started seeing references to this new food, "The Sausage About Which No One Complains".  On further inspection, "You'll never hear a word spoken against it".  Its construction required a special ingredient, mutersalt.

Mutersalt.  A spice which temporarily paralyzes the vocal chords.

As an added twist, people seem to legitimately appreciate it as a food, so there you go.
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4559 on: December 20, 2020, 08:19:41 am »

At least it doesn't kill you. :P
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Down at the bottom of the ocean. Beneath tons of brine which would crush you down. Not into broken and splintered flesh, but into thin soup. Into just more of the sea water. Where things live that aren't so different from you, but you will never live to touch them and they will never live to touch you.
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