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Author Topic: INVADE EARTH  (Read 13393 times)

Yoink

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2012, 06:35:16 pm »

> FIND A PUB AND GRAB A BEER.

CONQUERING IS THIRSTY WORK!
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #31 on: December 05, 2012, 09:56:55 pm »

Working on it.

Keep restricting the flow of oil to First World countries by conquering more countries that export oil.
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detective1412

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #32 on: December 06, 2012, 05:10:03 am »

ANALYZE EARTH BEFORE LAUNCHING ATTACK
BUILD FLEET

[3]
YOU ANALYZE,YOU GOT SEVERAL INFO ABOUT THE EARTH LEADER,BUT THAT'S THAT.
[5]
YOU BUILT YOUR OWN FLEET,IT'S PERFECT!
MANY SPACESHIP,WITH MANY WEAPONS,INCLUDING ION CANNON!

Goback in time

Start religious cult that takes over the world

Come back to the present

Relax as a god
[3]
You go back in time,unfortunately,only 10 hours.
[5] (wow,3 and 5 streak)
You start a religious cult that TAKES OVER THE WORLD! ALL OF IT! EVEN ANIMALS! CANINE HERO AND SHIT!
BUT! DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE OTHER ALIEN CONQUEROR!
[ONLY TWO ACTIONS,MY FRIEND!]
COME BACK TO LIFE!
THEN HAVE EVERY EMPIRE FROM FICTION HELP ME TAKE OVER EARTH.
[1]
"LIFE?! NO WAI!" SAY THE DEATH
"LIFE THIS!" HE SLASHES YOUR LEGS AND LAUGHED MANIACALLY.
WHEN YOU ARE BACK IN THE WORLD,YOU WILL NEED A WHEELCHAIR!
BE EARTH

INVADE SELF

[5]
CONGRATULATION! AFTER ANOTHER HARD WORK,YOU HAVE BECOME A PLANET!...wut?
Never mind.

[6]
OVERSHOOT! YOU INVADE YOUR SELF SO GREATLY THAT YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING! CONGRATULATION,YOU ARE A WASTE EARTH! AND LOOKS LIKE PERSEUS13'S RACE IS ANGRY!
persuade band of sky pirates I am their lost leader.
Lead band of sky pirates on pillaging spree

[2]
"ARRR! YOU NO GOOD LEADER!" THEY SHUSH YOUR VERY QUICKLY

[5,AUTO-FAIL]
YEAH.
Rise up against the jail.
> FIND A PUB AND GRAB A BEER.

CONQUERING IS THIRSTY WORK!

[3] YOU FOUND A PUB,BUT THE PUB DOESN'T HAVE ANY BEER BUT INSTEAD,TEA!
Working on it.

Keep restricting the flow of oil to First World countries by conquering more countries that export oil.
[3]
WELL,SLIGHTLY MORE CHAOS,SLIGHTLY MORE COUNTRIES. KEEP TRYING!
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Onyxjew944

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #33 on: December 06, 2012, 07:18:07 am »

ADD SHIPS TO FLEET
ADVANCE WEAPONS TECHNOLOGY OF FLEET
MINE MOON FOR RESOURCES TO DO THIS
GLASS PACIFIC OCEAN


EDITED.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2012, 09:33:47 pm by Onyxjew944 »
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Greater Collection
Quote from: Steel Resolve
I shall be ready! My head is full of disturbing but useful information. And all it cost me was my peace of mind and sanity. A bargain!
Quote
They told me to aim higher, so we dug deeper.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #34 on: December 06, 2012, 07:29:29 am »

Keep restricting the flow of oil to First World countries by conquering more countries that export oil.
Examine how the already-rising cost of gasoline is making First World society...maybe not collapse, yet, but definitely a lot less stable.
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Persus13

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #35 on: December 06, 2012, 09:04:54 am »

Order religious cult to attack Lordslowpoke

Join Yoink at teabar
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Yoink

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #36 on: December 06, 2012, 09:09:59 am »

>DRINK THE TEA

"A TOAST TO US, THE NEW RULERS OF EARTH!"
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

TopHat

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #37 on: December 06, 2012, 01:28:58 pm »

RESPAWN as lost sky pirate leader.
Join band of sky pirates
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

tomio175

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #38 on: December 06, 2012, 04:24:20 pm »

Send Yuri the Black Hole at the Earth. That'll teach em to mess wi- Fuck, CONQUER Earth? Fine. Send Black Hole troopers (Patent pending) onto the earth.
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da_nang

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #39 on: December 06, 2012, 06:07:21 pm »

>ALL OUT ASSAULT WITH LIZARDS AND LOVETANKS
>CAPTURE MAJOR CITIES
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Onyxjew944

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #40 on: December 06, 2012, 06:10:20 pm »

I LOVE HOW EVERYONE IS CONQUERING A SEPARATE EARTH AT DIFFERENT LEVELS OF CONQUERING.

ONYX: GLASS IT!
DA_NANG: CAPPING CONTROL POINTS
TOMIO: SCANNING WRECKAGE
TOPHAT: JOINING BRIGANDS
PERSUS: CULTS
GREATWYRMGOLD: COMPLICATED ECONOMIC PLAN

I STILL SAY ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT IS BEST MASTER STROKE.
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Greater Collection
Quote from: Steel Resolve
I shall be ready! My head is full of disturbing but useful information. And all it cost me was my peace of mind and sanity. A bargain!
Quote
They told me to aim higher, so we dug deeper.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #41 on: December 06, 2012, 07:43:00 pm »

Orbital bombardment lets you technically conquer the world, but it's not worth much.
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Onyxjew944

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #42 on: December 06, 2012, 07:46:25 pm »

Orbital bombardment lets you technically conquer the world, but it's not worth much.

-drops royal capslock- That was getting old anyway. But yeah, I'm mainly just conquering this semi-populated asteroid for mining the carbon and other minerals. The water would be nice, but there are a few rocks a couple parsecs over that I could get it off. A "fair" ground battle with the dominant species isn't worth what I would get for it. Plus more thinking and planning is made obsolete by their pitiful orbital defense grid. I mean, they don't even have any kill-sats! What do they expect to do if anyone comes knocking? It's just bad hospitality.
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Greater Collection
Quote from: Steel Resolve
I shall be ready! My head is full of disturbing but useful information. And all it cost me was my peace of mind and sanity. A bargain!
Quote
They told me to aim higher, so we dug deeper.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #43 on: December 06, 2012, 08:00:33 pm »

Orbital bombardment lets you technically conquer the world, but it's not worth much.
-drops royal capslock- That was getting old anyway. But yeah, I'm mainly just conquering this semi-populated asteroid for mining the carbon and other minerals. The water would be nice, but there are a few rocks a couple parsecs over that I could get it off. A "fair" ground battle with the dominant species isn't worth what I would get for it. Plus more thinking and planning is made obsolete by their pitiful orbital defense grid. I mean, they don't even have any kill-sats! What do they expect to do if anyone comes knocking? It's just bad hospitality.
Save the bombs and mine somewhere else. Maybe the Moon, if you can't reach the asteroid belt.
Now stop glassing my new territory. I'll give you an alliance. You get some mining rights we could discuss, and we both agree to free trade and to help the other's empire if attacked.
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Onyxjew944

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Re: INVADE EARTH
« Reply #44 on: December 06, 2012, 08:13:09 pm »

Orbital bombardment lets you technically conquer the world, but it's not worth much.
-drops royal capslock- That was getting old anyway. But yeah, I'm mainly just conquering this semi-populated asteroid for mining the carbon and other minerals. The water would be nice, but there are a few rocks a couple parsecs over that I could get it off. A "fair" ground battle with the dominant species isn't worth what I would get for it. Plus more thinking and planning is made obsolete by their pitiful orbital defense grid. I mean, they don't even have any kill-sats! What do they expect to do if anyone comes knocking? It's just bad hospitality.
Save the bombs and mine somewhere else. Maybe the Moon, if you can't reach the asteroid belt.
Now stop glassing my new territory. I'll give you an alliance. You get some mining rights we could discuss, and we both agree to free trade and to help the other's empire if attacked.
Well... You see, the plan about mining this place goes something like this:

Phase One
     Bombardment:



Phase Two
     Mining:


Phase Three
      Getting off-world.


Considering doing this to the moon would suck Earth into a gravity well and destroy it anyway......

I see a problem with peace. Any suggestions?

((Sorry about pic spamming, I just thought the presentations wouldn't be complete without a visual aid. That, and describing all that in detail would make this comment a lot more pompous and "holier-than-thou" considering I haven't actually bombed anything yet.))
« Last Edit: December 06, 2012, 08:15:01 pm by Onyxjew944 »
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Greater Collection
Quote from: Steel Resolve
I shall be ready! My head is full of disturbing but useful information. And all it cost me was my peace of mind and sanity. A bargain!
Quote
They told me to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
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