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Author Topic: Prophets of the New God: most unfortunately dropped.  (Read 68980 times)

Toaster

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #420 on: April 18, 2013, 12:35:49 pm »

That's one tough-ass ram to be able to carry two people.  Maybe Lars should rethink getting it back.

Jezufim.  Ugh.  Lars made sure to remind himself to convert or burn him personally.

But now, he had a task to do.  Get to Kilnipom... wherever it was.



Keep going down the road.  Keep looking for someone to ask directions.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Parisbre56

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #421 on: April 18, 2013, 12:43:35 pm »

((Whack them in the head, whack them in the head!
Originally, I was writing the above for Shashari but I just realized that a good headwhacking to the right people or objects can solve the problems all of the prophets are having.
And headwhacking+fire can solve all of the problems the prophets are having in an amazing way.))

Harry Baldman

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #422 on: April 18, 2013, 12:52:39 pm »

That's one tough-ass ram to be able to carry two people.  Maybe Lars should rethink getting it back.

To be fair, one of them is a teenage girl and the other is a bit of a spindly fellow who's been largely living on water, nuts and berries for a long, long time.
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IronyOwl

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #423 on: April 18, 2013, 02:39:55 pm »

"Nonsense! This ram was tamed by none other than myself using gentle diplomacy, hence its desire to protect me and my fellows! Your brutish ways are a crude and false form of dominance!" Shashari shouted rather rapidly, distracted with trying to not be bucked off the ram.

Convince the foul heathen of the error of his brutish ways!
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #424 on: April 18, 2013, 05:54:23 pm »

((Whack them in the head, whack them in the head!
Originally, I was writing the above for Shashari but I just realized that a good headwhacking to the right people or objects can solve the problems all of the prophets are having.
And headwhacking+fire can solve all of the problems the prophets are having in an amazing way.))
((How does headwhacking solve wells being stuck? No, seriously, tell me.))
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Xantalos

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #425 on: April 18, 2013, 05:59:43 pm »

Well, since you don't have a name would you mind being called Onon? Also, a question for you: how widespread are the Kelamazites?
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Toaster

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #426 on: April 18, 2013, 09:40:23 pm »

((Whack them in the head, whack them in the head!
Originally, I was writing the above for Shashari but I just realized that a good headwhacking to the right people or objects can solve the problems all of the prophets are having.
And headwhacking+fire can solve all of the problems the prophets are having in an amazing way.))
((How does headwhacking solve wells being stuck? No, seriously, tell me.))

[6->2]  You headwhack the well.  This dazes you so much that you fall in!  The force of your fall suddenly dislodges the bucket from the tree branch that was holding it in place- it is now free to move.

You're still stuck in the well, though.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #427 on: April 18, 2013, 09:46:41 pm »

((Whack them in the head, whack them in the head!
Originally, I was writing the above for Shashari but I just realized that a good headwhacking to the right people or objects can solve the problems all of the prophets are having.
And headwhacking+fire can solve all of the problems the prophets are having in an amazing way.))
((How does headwhacking solve wells being stuck? No, seriously, tell me.))
[6->2]  You headwhack the well.  This dazes you so much that you fall in!  The force of your fall suddenly dislodges the bucket from the tree branch that was holding it in place- it is now free to move.

You're still stuck in the well, though.
...I'll pass. However, take away the "head" and that's sorta close to what I had imagined.

Give the mechanisms a gentle tap. Test to see if they work.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #428 on: April 19, 2013, 12:25:15 pm »

Well, since you don't have a name would you mind being called Onon? Also, a question for you: how widespread are the Kelamazites?

"Oh, I don't mind. Onon seems like hardly the worst name one could give a person. As to your question, they were quite widespread when they put me in the dungeon twenty years ago. Mo'kar only knows how many places they've gotten themselves into now."
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Xantalos

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #429 on: April 19, 2013, 12:30:49 pm »

Attempt to recall the directions that the bandits gave me a while ago.
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Parisbre56

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #430 on: April 19, 2013, 03:15:22 pm »

((Whack them in the head, whack them in the head!
Originally, I was writing the above for Shashari but I just realized that a good headwhacking to the right people or objects can solve the problems all of the prophets are having.
And headwhacking+fire can solve all of the problems the prophets are having in an amazing way.))
((How does headwhacking solve wells being stuck? No, seriously, tell me.))
((Easy. When all else fails to fix it, hit it.
Although, what Toaster said is better funnier.))
« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 03:24:34 pm by Parisbre56 »
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #431 on: April 19, 2013, 03:45:09 pm »

((Whack them in the head, whack them in the head!
Originally, I was writing the above for Shashari but I just realized that a good headwhacking to the right people or objects can solve the problems all of the prophets are having.
And headwhacking+fire can solve all of the problems the prophets are having in an amazing way.))
((How does headwhacking solve wells being stuck? No, seriously, tell me.))
((Easy. When all else fails to fix it, hit it.
Although, what Toaster said is better funnier.))
((Huh, I didn't know The Other Wiki had an article on the subject.))
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TCM

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 44 - Riding the Ram
« Reply #432 on: April 20, 2013, 03:47:42 pm »

Elizas watches the attempted escape of Gezerim.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 45 - The Great Escape
« Reply #433 on: April 21, 2013, 02:34:14 pm »

Turn 45 - The Great Escape

Lars, rather displeased with the nature of his dreams, goes down the road, hoping to find a sufficiently charitable person that might give him directions down that way. And not an hour later, he finds himself to be in luck! A group of four people are coming his way! Two men, a youth and a boy, seems like. One of them seems to have a severely lacerated face and a sour expression. The others look to be consumed with sheer ambivalence, except for the child, who looks slightly doubtful.

In other words, the perfect people to ask for directions!

* * * * *

Shashari, still hanging on to the ram, tries to persuade the filthy cattle-stealing heathen of his terrible and inappropriate ways.

[Charisma roll: 2+1]

"Nonsense! This ram was tamed by none other than myself using gentle diplomacy, hence its desire to protect me and my fellows! Your brutish ways are a crude and false form of dominance!"

"I could see that from the way it could be easily steered to run straight into you! Filthy animals are meant to be physically dominated, they know no other mode of communication!"

[Shashari grip roll: 5]
[Filthy Cattle-Stealing Heathen grip roll: 6-->3]

As Shashari holds on to the ram, the heathen tries to get a better grip on the creature, moving toward his riding companion! That is, until he grips a bit of the ram that one really should not grip if one values their health, further enraging the creature and forcing it into a roll!

[Shashari grip roll: 6-->4]
[Filthy Cattle-Stealing Heathen grip roll: 6-->6]

Both of them stay firmly glued to the ram's back as it tries to lose them in a rolling motion! It begins to look quite tired!

[Ram endurance roll: 2]

In fact, it seems to be unable to continue its wild activities, breathing heavily as it unsteadily stumbles forward and feebly tries to shake its riders off.

"Ha-hah! The beast is conquered!"

"Oh, get off the ram already!"

[Grapple: Siren vs. Filthy Cattle-Stealing Heathen: 6-->5 vs. 6-->5]

"Now to conquer the heathens!"

The Siren tries to grab the lunatic and restrain him, but the weirdo is too fast, leaping off the ram and onto the Siren in a single, fluid motion, rolling off with him towards the river.

* * * * *

Phiali takes a careful look at the mechanism. It is certainly possessed by the evil of Sloth, that is for sure. And the best way to fix Sloth is to give it a good tap.

[Percussive maintenance roll: 3]

He taps it gently, hearing something move slightly, like a gear moving a fraction of an inch before stopping again. This is certainly promising, if not entirely encouraging. A successful diagnostic procedure, certainly.

* * * * *

Gronok, faced with the dismal reality of the surroundings, thinks back to the directions the bandits gave him.

He remembers clearly that they said there was a city two days to the south from here, a village four hours to the north from here that you need to go through unfriendly woods to reach and a village six hours to the west! It's good to have such a wonderful memory.

* * * * *

Elizas, seeing Gezerim climb on the roof, takes up an optimum viewing position and waits to see what happens.

[Gezerim stealthy escape roll: 1-->3]

He doesn't have to wait long, as Gezerim immediately slips off the roof and lands on the grass below face-first, causing the nearby guard to jump with surprise!

[Gezerim endurance roll: 4]

Gezerim quickly gets up, looks around, notices the guard, yelps and tries to make a run for it.

[Gezerim escape roll: 4]
[Guard pursuit roll: 5]

He does not seem to have chosen the most optimal avenue of escape, as he runs right past another guard, who immediately chases after him as well, albeit much more closely.

[Gezerim escape roll: 5]
[Guard pursuit roll: 3]

That is, the guard would have followed Gezerim much more closely had he not been immediately run into by the previous guard, making them both fall over and make surprised exclamations that betray that they probably aren't very good at this.

[Gezerim escape roll: 2]
[Guard pursuit roll: 4]

However, more guards have been attracted, and these ones pursue the con artist with great gusto, chasing after him like a pack of bloodhounds.

[Gezerim escape roll: 1-->4]
[Guard pursuit roll: 5]

He is then tackled from two different directions by yet more guards, who proceed to pin him to the ground and search his possessions without saying a word.

Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: Prophets of the New God: Turn 45 - The Great Escape
« Reply #434 on: April 21, 2013, 02:38:55 pm »

Begin travelling to the city! Head south-east to do so, since I headed west to get here.
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