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Author Topic: Dabbling Derivative Author  (Read 1052 times)

Dansmithers

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Dabbling Derivative Author
« on: February 17, 2013, 12:30:50 am »

So, yeah, I write fanfics. No wait, don't leave! First, check my stories:
http://www.fanfiction.net/~invaderskarrch
Any reviews, favorites are appreciated


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Siggy Siggy Hole!

Well, let's say you're going away from Earth on huge spaceship and suddenly shit goes wrong and you have Super Mutants. Social Experiments prepared them for this.

freeformschooler

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Re: Dabbling Derivative Author
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2013, 12:48:35 am »

Not a Zim fandom dude (although the show is awesome), but I hope it won't hurt your feelings if I tell you that your grammar is pretty bad. I can fix it, though. Here's some examples.

Quote
"WHAT!" screamed Dib "HOW CAN I POSSIBLY GIVE A GIFT TO A HIDEOUS ALIEN MONSTER!"

You need a period after "Dib."

Quote
"You will give a gift, or I will be forced to expel you ." shouted over the commotion.

Remove the space between "you" and the period. Who shouted this over the commotion?

Quote
"I need help with this Quantum Ai Stabilization Unit."

AI is an acronym. Spell it either AI or A.I.

Quote
"Because if I am destroyed, Dib will die a horrible death."said AVATAR. "WHAT!" yelled Dib.

Space between the first quote and "said." A new paragraph always precedes a change of speaker, so "'WHAT!' yelled Dib." would start on the next line.

This is still better than most fanfic authors, but I make a point not to read anything with less proofreading than an average amateur news article.
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Dansmithers

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Re: Dabbling Derivative Author
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2013, 02:26:52 am »

Not a Zim fandom dude (although the show is awesome), but I hope it won't hurt your feelings if I tell you that your grammar is pretty bad. I can fix it, though. Here's some examples.

Quote
"WHAT!" screamed Dib "HOW CAN I POSSIBLY GIVE A GIFT TO A HIDEOUS ALIEN MONSTER!"

You need a period after "Dib."

Quote
"You will give a gift, or I will be forced to expel you ." shouted over the commotion.

Remove the space between "you" and the period. Who shouted this over the commotion?

Quote
"I need help with this Quantum Ai Stabilization Unit."

AI is an acronym. Spell it either AI or A.I.

Quote
"Because if I am destroyed, Dib will die a horrible death."said AVATAR. "WHAT!" yelled Dib.

Space between the first quote and "said." A new paragraph always precedes a change of speaker, so "'WHAT!' yelled Dib." would start on the next line.
I know that rule, but I deliberately ignored it in this case, due to them being kind of the same person

This is still better than most fanfic authors, but I make a point not to read anything with less proofreading than an average amateur news article.
In general, CURSE YOU OPENOFFICE, AND YOUR NONEXISTENT GRAMMAR-CHECKER
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Siggy Siggy Hole!

Well, let's say you're going away from Earth on huge spaceship and suddenly shit goes wrong and you have Super Mutants. Social Experiments prepared them for this.