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Author Topic: Murdermachines - Return of the VoidGod (Deathgate II)  (Read 787561 times)

GentlemanRaptor

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1335 on: July 09, 2013, 11:44:59 pm »

Sniper strayed outside with her child and nearly tripped over a kobold. With goblins just a few urists away, behind the cover of trees she tore the hell out of that kobold, giving torturing lessons and pointers to her baby all the while:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I can just imagine...

"Okay, so these are the different points you can grab. Got it? Armok, pay attention! And this *crunch* is how you finish it off. With your bare hands. No, you can't eat it. Go wash the brain off your clothes and grab a crossbow, I'm teaching you marksmanship next."
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Amusingly, he's a Marksdwarf, which gives me the mental image of him conducting medical malpractice an appendectomy from fifty paces with a crossbow.
On bay12, a poll option of basically 'nuke the world' named 'Apocalypse Hitler' is like asking an alcoholic if they want some whiskey.

thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1336 on: July 10, 2013, 03:32:02 am »

Do I yet live?
Do I yet live?

i think so, I mentioned all the named dead explicitly. I hope so, anyway
___________________________________________________________

last 15 days of winter.

So another siege came. Goblin archers, trolls and hammerers, usual shit.

As usual some assholes are stumbling about outside, a child turns into a pincushion as does a named dwarf: Aseaheru, honored pot thrower bit the dust full of goblin arrows:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

His mistake was running into a kobold and taking his sweet time shooting it dead. I can't be sure, but the kobold might have crawled away a broken cripple. No matter Aseaheru didn't crawl away at all.

But it was Ok, I gave orders to hold the bend so that their archers would close into our melee range.

Then I heard sounds of combat:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Animarytak, the goddamn void god, the single best murdering machine we have decided to screw my orders and to take on the siege by himself. He isn't even wearing boots or gloves.

Obviously I have no choice but to raise the whole damn army.

I follow void gods maneuvers with horror expecting him to drop to an arrow at any moment, but...well...he isn't doing too bad:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Then the kobold torturer shows up to help him, and his eyes glaze over. He doesn't end up doing too shabby either:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The two cut a neat path through the mace goblins, round on the archers and only get intercepted by trolls as the archers start firing:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They make it. The kobold torturer gets a cut on the foot and has to be rescued. Some unlucky maceman gets a broken bone but also lives. The goblins and trolls are utterly slaughtered, blood is everywhere:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Speaking of blood, my term is bloody over. My proudest achievement is the hammer whose creation I oversaw: I gave it to our finest hammerlord:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Breathimpaled...good dwarven name. I gave it to CARPLord

Here is the keys to the fort, hope the next overseer enjoys picking shit up off the ground, since I never quite got around to it, what with the three separate sieges and one conjoined siege: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=7816

« Last Edit: July 10, 2013, 03:37:42 am by thegoatgod_pan »
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

peregarrett

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1337 on: July 10, 2013, 04:32:51 am »

My dorf was memorized on artifact war hammer. I'm very honored.
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Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.

Teh_Idort

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1338 on: July 10, 2013, 11:38:57 am »

Well hell, my little dude did me proud, next overseer, make sure you rename my guy's profession (Chomper).

Also, FB kill, is that the first FB kill of the fort? or is AMBASSADOR on someone's resume?
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1339 on: July 10, 2013, 12:10:40 pm »

My dwarf appears to have good potential for crushing skulls with maces, yet she is just smelting stuff and cutting gems. What's wrong here?
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I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
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thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1340 on: July 10, 2013, 12:15:49 pm »

Well hell, my little dude did me proud, next overseer, make sure you rename my guy's profession (Chomper).

Also, FB kill, is that the first FB kill of the fort? or is AMBASSADOR on someone's resume?
.  Looks like it might be in this reclaim, though there is a dead titan in the corpse pile.

My dwarf appears to have good potential for crushing skulls with maces, yet she is just smelting stuff and cutting gems. What's wrong here?
. My mistake, I assume, I tossed everyone who could fight into a militia at the beginning of spring. Somehow very few of them made it to the nxt spring. We need much more armor. Mybe smelting stuff is for the best
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

Urist McDwarfFortress

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1341 on: July 10, 2013, 01:21:53 pm »

Don't we have like 80 tons of armor scattered around the surface?
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Sorry, for a moment there I forgot we were all psychopaths.
Someone who has random urges to make mog juice isn't exactly going to care about the cost effectiveness of obtaining it.

kefkakrazy

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1342 on: July 10, 2013, 04:06:01 pm »

Quote
AnimaRytak was possessed by an angry ghost

GOD ALMIGHTY.
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This is a Dwarven corpse. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of pathetic and menaces with spikes of fail.

thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1343 on: July 11, 2013, 01:19:08 pm »

Don't we have like 80 tons of armor scattered around the surface?

Yes but the uniforms assigned long before me specify steel armor and my attempts to switch this to all metals lead to dwarves combing the land for a gaunlet mid siege.

Quote
AnimaRytak was possessed by an angry ghost

GOD ALMIGHTY.

That's pretty much what I thought. The ghosts seem to like possessing the real hardcore dwarves
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

Urist McDwarfFortress

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1344 on: July 11, 2013, 02:03:05 pm »

Quote
AnimaRytak was possessed by an angry ghost

GOD ALMIGHTY.
Apparently not...
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Sorry, for a moment there I forgot we were all psychopaths.
Someone who has random urges to make mog juice isn't exactly going to care about the cost effectiveness of obtaining it.

tryrar

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1345 on: July 11, 2013, 09:27:17 pm »

So, I saw I got in a little on the FB kill(I love requesting the profession of Goremaster, easy to track on combat logs), I'm also assuming my dorf is still around?
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This fort really does sit on the event horizon of madness and catastrophe
No. I suppose there are similarities, but I'm fairly certain angry birds doesn't let me charge into a battalion of knights with a car made of circular saws.

SanDiego

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1346 on: July 13, 2013, 06:35:26 am »

I died? Awww. I kinda liked that body. It had a titan kill and stuff. Also, AnimaRytak posessed AND back with his axe? Not good.
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Welcome to Murdermachines. Try the gecko sauce; it's delectable and delightful, a wonderful blend of savory and spicy that makes any dish delicious without being too overwhelming.

(Warning: Do not ask about the manufacturing process for gecko sauce)
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thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1347 on: July 14, 2013, 12:33:56 am »

I died? Awww. I kinda liked that body. It had a titan kill and stuff. Also, AnimaRytak posessed AND back with his axe? Not good.

If it is any consolation, the murder you committed during the hungry summer would have gotten you hammered to death the moment someone appointed a sheriff or hammerer
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

AnimaRytak

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1348 on: July 16, 2013, 03:28:58 am »

Murdermachines does not belong on page two.
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[RUMGOD][MURDERMACHINES_OVERLORD]
Quote from: StLeibowitz
Quote from: Yuli Vlasi
It's probably worth mentioning that AnimaRytak is the only ecstatic dwarf in the entire fort.
Quick, check him for rum! The bastard's probably spirited some off to his lair office, to act as pleasant refreshment as his evil scheme unfolds!

Orange Wizard

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Re: Murdermachines - A Glorious Revival! (Deathgate II)
« Reply #1349 on: July 16, 2013, 06:27:35 am »

THEN WE MUST SLAY THE THREADS ON PAGE ONE!
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Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.
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