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Author Topic: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.  (Read 5827 times)

Grek

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President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« on: January 12, 2013, 05:16:28 pm »

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/response/isnt-petition-response-youre-looking

What a tragic day in American history this is, where the power to destroy planets comes second to the deficit. What's next? No more Halo Array funding? Stopping research on Death Rays? Banning the use of the Earthquake machine?
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Flying Dice

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2013, 05:19:48 pm »

The implications were pretty clear: The Administration does not oppose the construction of an American Death Star per se, they simply recognize that a number of issues currently prevent it from being feasible. We need to find a way to fund it, build the extraterrestrial infrastructure to support it, and work out the engineering kinks that could allow it to be destroyed by a single snubfighter before starting work on the superweapon itself.


Obama: Practical and pro-Death Star.
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Cake
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freeformschooler

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2013, 05:31:10 pm »

That marshmellow cannon thing was silly.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2013, 08:15:13 pm »

I'm voting Tenacious D in 2016.
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Flying Dice

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2013, 08:29:04 pm »

Note that Obama uses a blue lightsaber. It's clear that he's on the side of good emotionally repressed warrior-monks, rather than evil lawful stupid goths.
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Cake
Aurora on small monitors:
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Trif

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2013, 08:29:49 pm »

Romney would've funded a Death Star immediately. He probably had the $850,000,000,000,000,000 lying around and he also looks like a younger Palpatine.
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FearfulJesuit

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2013, 08:30:24 pm »

Why didn't we get Gingrich? He actually came out and said he wanted one. Or a Moon base, at least, which is halfway there.
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Flying Dice

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2013, 08:33:31 pm »

Gingrich just wanted to co-op the secret Nazi base on the far side of the moon. As for a Palpatine figure, I hadn't figured that there would be any opposition to Cheney.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Cake
Aurora on small monitors:
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2013, 08:43:43 pm »

Romney would've funded a Death Star immediately. He probably had the $850,000,000,000,000,000 lying around and he also looks like a younger Palpatine.
NEW THEORY: Romney and Obama are Palpatine and Mace Windu in their younger forms, and will soon be summoned to the past alongside their families to put humans in a distant galaxy, before being time-shifted farther to the future when only a handful of Obama's descendants remain.
...It's good to release some of the insanity I'm exposed to on a daily basis from you guys.

Anyways, what good would a Death Star be? We only have one planet. It's as stupid to build as a club which explodes with the force of a nuclear warhead whenever it's used!
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Sirus

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2013, 08:45:41 pm »

Romney would've funded a Death Star immediately. He probably had the $850,000,000,000,000,000 lying around and he also looks like a younger Palpatine.
NEW THEORY: Romney and Obama are Palpatine and Mace Windu in their younger forms, and will soon be summoned to the past alongside their families to put humans in a distant galaxy, before being time-shifted farther to the future when only a handful of Obama's descendants remain.
...It's good to release some of the insanity I'm exposed to on a daily basis from you guys.

Anyways, what good would a Death Star be? We only have one planet. It's as stupid to build as a club which explodes with the force of a nuclear warhead whenever it's used!
What are you talking about? We have seven spare planets in this solar system alone, not to mention hundreds of  dwarf planets and moons!
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2013, 08:48:21 pm »

Romney would've funded a Death Star immediately. He probably had the $850,000,000,000,000,000 lying around and he also looks like a younger Palpatine.
NEW THEORY: Romney and Obama are Palpatine and Mace Windu in their younger forms, and will soon be summoned to the past alongside their families to put humans in a distant galaxy, before being time-shifted farther to the future when only a handful of Obama's descendants remain.
...It's good to release some of the insanity I'm exposed to on a daily basis from you guys.

Anyways, what good would a Death Star be? We only have one planet. It's as stupid to build as a club which explodes with the force of a nuclear warhead whenever it's used!
What are you talking about? We have seven spare planets in this solar system alone, not to mention hundreds of  dwarf planets and moons!
WHY WOULD YOU DESTROY THEM?!?!?!
And I don't think the Death Star affects gas giants.
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Sirus

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2013, 08:50:27 pm »

Romney would've funded a Death Star immediately. He probably had the $850,000,000,000,000,000 lying around and he also looks like a younger Palpatine.
NEW THEORY: Romney and Obama are Palpatine and Mace Windu in their younger forms, and will soon be summoned to the past alongside their families to put humans in a distant galaxy, before being time-shifted farther to the future when only a handful of Obama's descendants remain.
...It's good to release some of the insanity I'm exposed to on a daily basis from you guys.

Anyways, what good would a Death Star be? We only have one planet. It's as stupid to build as a club which explodes with the force of a nuclear warhead whenever it's used!
What are you talking about? We have seven spare planets in this solar system alone, not to mention hundreds of  dwarf planets and moons!
WHY WOULD YOU DESTROY THEM?!?!?!
And I don't think the Death Star affects gas giants.
All those delicious minerals and rare elements, of course! Imagine how much easier it would be to mine asteroids and the like if we could crack them open first.
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Aseaheru

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2013, 08:56:14 pm »

did you see what happened to Alderaan? it just poped!
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Sirus

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2013, 08:59:01 pm »

did you see what happened to Alderaan? it just poped!
That was at full power. The Death Star could be used at lesser strengths to simply break large objects open.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: President Obama refuses to fund construction of Death Star.
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2013, 09:00:43 pm »

did you see what happened to Alderaan? it just poped!
That was at full power. The Death Star could be used at lesser strengths to simply break large objects open.
And where do you get the proof for this?
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