Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Our uniform shall be blood (red)

0 (0%)

Danger room training shall be forbidden.

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

Voting closed: April 02, 2013, 10:22:42 am

[Urist McKiwi]

The trouble is unless we can switch off this decline, the fort will die off simply because of bugs in the game.

To be fair, this isn't a new thing. It's just that in previous versions this was down to Carp or death-rain-that-melts-your-subdermal-fat...and this is kinda inglorious.


Edit: Why are our soldiers abandoning their posts to store forbidden items in bins?!!! Dear freaking lord it's impossible to keep these fools alive.
Edit2: Now one of our swordsdwarves has decided to take a rest right on the bridge I need to close. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH! AND another marksdwarf is on their way to commit suicide by picking up bolts they've just shot into an undead horde. Anyone have any idea how to stop our military from committing suicide?
Edit3: Ok, got it. Standing down the squads of the idiots makes them obey the civilian alert, bringing them back into the fortress. There does seem to be a bug whereby military dwarves do stupid things because of the way they ignore the burrow-restrictions during alerts.
Edit4:Oh dear bloody freaking lord. That just makes different dwarves rush out to their deaths. I'm on the verge of rage-quitting for the day, sorry. It's just impossible to do anything when punching commands at random does the same apparent thing as telling them to do things I want. I'm abandoning the fools to die.

[Urist McKiwi]

Alright! Urist McStupid the hammerdwarf has become notable as the first militadwarf to do something incredibly stupid and survive. I'm actually rather impressed.

Diary of Urist McKiwi, Dashing Swordsdwarf

25th Moonstone

Well, the ones of us who survived are back in the fortress. One angry hammerdwarf charged the undead at the gates. Smashed a couple of them while screaming his head off about a headache, then realised it wasn't such a good idea after all. He's swearing constantly as he heads back to the fortress. While I can't condone such language, I can't really blame him. This battle was an appalling failure...I'm not sure what made me order the charge. It made no sense..... I'm having the fortress sealed. When it is safe to go and recover our dead, we will do so....but for now, we must hide.

A skeleton seems to be chasing that hammerdwarf. We'll get him through the trap corridor and seal it up behind him. We lost seven or eight good soldiers and recruits this time....and no one's in any mood to continue. Am I losing my touch? Or is it this foul energy that taints our fortress?

26th Moonstone

The militia is stood down....the gates are shut. And while the would-be "heroes" who assailed us are gone, the undead remain. The militia is a shattered ruin of its former self, and there aren't enough dwarves to replenish our numbers. Damn this place! How can one be a dashing swordsdwarf in a place this utterly vile?

28th Moonstone

It is late in the year....and it will not be finished before I stand down. But I have started work on a tower to take on the undead hordes at our gates. We lack a good firing gallery for the marksdwarves who still remain. That will change.

I've informed the merchants of the situation. They are not happy, but they seem to understand the reality of the situation. I will admit, I am tempted to use The Crusher. But enough blood has been spilled for now......it is the time to rebuild, not the time to fight.

We interviewed the hammerdwarf today, as well as a few other soldiers who've been acting odd.... Set up a nice room for Udib and I with some desks and slates to take notes. We wanted to know why our military have been so lacking in judgement of late. Seems something's been messing with their heads...some kind of spirit or foul demon trying to possess them. The bad decisions and suicides are acidental...what the idea is seemt o be a full possession. No idea what might be that desperate to get in here, mind. Udib seems to know more than he lets on about this, and I'm thinking it might be worth persuading him to tell more....

On the plus side at least, the moat has been starting to calm as the pressure equalises after the firing of the Shroud. We can't use that thing to take out the undead (or the necromancer with them), but some day we might be able to use it as a weapon again.

28th Moonstone

As if things weren't bad enough....apparently we've got unicorns running wild down in the storage area now. Cages must have broken, unless some poor nutter let them out. I'll take care of that personally.


29th Moonstone

To quote a recent conversation:
"Have at thee, foul equine!" *stab*
"SIR!"
"Oh heavens, it's you again. What's gone wild this time? Crundle? Porcupine? That emu over there, perhaps?" *slash*
"No sir! THAT emu, over there!"

....I will admit, that as I looked at the bird, it did give me a look that I've only seen before in the eyes of a trained foe....a look of hatred. Malice...and glee. Then it was gone, and the bird went back to trying to peck the crundle in the next cage. How strange.....as if something took control for a moment.

Also why does he keep calling me "Sir?"... Admittedly, we're dwarves, and I do wear a full suit of armor at all times (something which makes sleeping rather inconvenient, although it does keep the vampires away), but I have told people that despite my name, I am most definitely female. The chap probably thinks you have to be male to be dashing. Hah!

2nd Opal

Operation "Death to Pointy Death-Horses" (Note to self: Do not allow Urist the Grey to name another operation while I am commander) continues, with a few marksdwarves and the other 5 survivors of the Royal Fist providing an audience for my pest-control demonstration. Apparently some of them were taking bets on whether or not I'd survive. Me! A Dashing Swordsdwarf of no small renown! I've killed more beasts than they could imagine. So I had Adil put a few bets on me, and we split the profits.

Only one unicorn is left now. Alas, it has chosen to hole up in one of the old living areas. While we dwarves have a natural advantage in such tight spaces, the beast is panicked by its confines, and this operation may actually become dangerous now...we'll head up there this evening.

3rd Opal

Alright, I'll admit it. That was not a good place to confront an angry unicorn. On the upside, it only got my leg, and it's just a scratch compared to the usual stuff we get here. Likot the Swordmaster came to my aid, for which I am grateful. Together, we dealt to the beast. Even better, Adil and I managed to make a tidy profit off the whole deal. I may be dashing, but dashing and rich is better any day.

4th Opal

Oh no. Nurse Cutey is headed this way. And she looks like she's planning on doing medicine...

That over-excited citizen turned up to report that all our tamed snakes (Armok knows why we have any of those have started coiling themselves into eldritch symbols. Udib ran for the door and knocked the nurse over on his way. I took the opportunity to escape down to the bunker. She'll never find me there.

8th Opal

I've got it! The way to keep that nurse accountable for her actions and away from me. I'll record it once I've had the conversation....my foot's nice and bandaged anyway, so she can't really do much...


"Ah! Nurse Cutey! I've been looking for you!"
"Like hell ye have! Ah've been up and down the stairs-"
"Good news! You're our new field medic!"
"Eh?"
"Report to the barracks for your complimentary silver warhammer and armor (In used condition, some dents and bloodstains)"
"But...but...ye can' take me away from the hospital! The others dinnae ken what-"
"I assure you, Nurse, that you will be more than able to continue your duties at the hospital in between your duties as a field medic. Report to Captain Udil Enoroddom immediately for your equipment and training."

9th Opal

Thank goodness. I managed to get some random seige operator to take a look at my leg while the surgeons were off being sober on duty (unacceptable, but I'm beyond caring at this point). I also got some passers-by to agree to haul the corpses out of the other beds.
The Royal Fist is now up to strength with new members drawn from the citizens. Still need basic training, but 4 out of our 5 veterans are well able to provide the necessary training. I've rewarded Likot's service by giving him the last of our adamantine swords. A fine weapon for a fine dwarf.

Now if I can just make it out of this hospital alive (given this operator claims to have "no training at all", I'm somewhat hopeful), I might just be able to continue serving this fortress. The other squads are still below strength.....ideally, I'd just merge two of them together into mixed squads. I'm not sure if that will go down well though....the soldiers who've been in these squads since they were formed are rather attached to them. Still, they mostly respect me, especially now I've been wounded in battle (admittedly, against a wild animal in an abandoned bedroom).

Apparently now the crundles are going insane. Whatever is trying to possess its way into the fortress is having a really bad go at it.

11th Opal

I'm told that work on the tower is going extremely well. With luck, we may have a rudimentary firing platform before I stand down. Udib came to me in bed today.

"McKiwi, I have good news, and I have bad news for you."
"Do either of them involve Nurse Cutey?"
"No. Worse than that. Your....shall we say... "dashingness".... seems to give you some level of immunity to the force that is trying to possess the citizens of this fortress. I have to say....I am rather impressed. I had considered your "dashing swordsdwarf" routine to be something of a fraud, but your actions seem to prove that you are trustworthy. So...I will tell you what is happening. Herein lies the bad news; The evil "Seer" Urist McDuck must be on the loose in the multiverse, somehow. I had hoped that his prison would hold..but it evidently has not. He has followed me here, presumably to exact some sort of revenge for his entrapment at Ardentdikes. He must be trying to take over a creature in this fortress to open a gateway to wherever he has gone since leaving Ardentdikes. The beacon down below, the "dark energy"....none of this is the truth. We are simply on top of where McDuck is trying to break through. And if he manages to possess the right being, he can free himself to take his revenge upon us all."
"Um....He doesn't seem to be doing a particularly good job so far. I mean, so far he's made a lot of our citizens go mad, and taken over an emu. Surely the man is no-"
"Urist McKiwi! Whether you or I live or die, he must not be allowed to escape into this world! You have some protection from his malice, but if you continue to lead this fortress, he will continue to try to assail your mind. He has already tried.......your less than rational actions against the human adventurers were partly tainted by his efforts, but you and the hammerdwarf were able to resist! I am sure that you and the other resistant dwarves will be able to stand against him should he return! I'm afraid there is no choice for you....in order to protect this world as a Dashing Swordsdwarf, you must not stand another turn as the leader of this fortress."
"........"
"Very well, Udib. I trust your judgement. I will not seek another term come the end of winter. But I will continue to lead until then"
"That is acceptable. I really am sorry, McKiwi. If I had not failed in my efforts to imprison that fiend for good....this would all never had happened."

Then he left.

So that's it then. Urist McKiwi III. Dashing Swordsdwarf. And now one of only two dwarves known to have not been driven out of their mind fatally by this "McDuck" fellow's possession attempts. I do wonder what would have happened if I'd killed that emu. Might have saved us a fair bit of bother later on. I can't say I completely believe Udib. But the guy's a nice chap. Far saner than my namesake, although he gets a bit cranky at times.

That evening, I felt good enough to check myself out of the hospital. Getting untrained dwarves to run the place was a brilliant idea. Why didn't we think of this before? Half the mortality rate with twice the speed of service! I may fire all the doctors at this rate. Except Nurse Cutey. Even though she's nominally under my command, I don't trust her not to try doing something unfortunate with her warhammer, in which case I'll have to add "Brutally slaughtered an enraged nurse" to my resume, which will not look good.

16th Opal

One of the off-duty marksdwarves asked to try out the firing platform as it was being built. Who was I to say "no"? He's done an excellent job, and I've ordered work to start on a second tower with the same basic layout. It will be a slow construction effort, but things are looking up for this fortress! With luck, we should soon be able to get the marksdwarves to work on whittling down the numbers of the undead horde. The firing angle for targets close to the gates is apparently rather tricky, but with enough marksdwarves up there that should hardly be an issue.

19th Opal

Things are coming together nicely. The marksdwarf has given the design his approval, and work on the secure entrances to both towers is going nicely. They might not be finished in time for the end of my leadership, but they will be close! And most importantly, we will be able to take on the undead without wasting the lives of our finest and bravest. And myself, obviously.

An owl tried to break away from its cage today. I'm not sure whether it's possessed, or just sick of being stuck in a small cage next to a pile of rotting zombies for the last ten years.

20th Opal

Rather embarrassingly, we've discovered we can't actually get in to the southern part of the outer compound. Apparently Cutey never considered such luxuries as "doors" to be essential to common citizens. Or worse, she wanted to trap her patients there. Anyway. I'm sending the marksdwarves in to sweep through and make it safe. Scouting from the towers indicates there's a few dingoes in there. Crikey....we'd better keep those away from the animals.

23rd Opal

Even more embarrassingly, it apparently takes three days for our hardened elite snipers to climb the stairs. Our mayor (who admittedly, is also one of our snipers) managed it in two], and is currently enjoying taking out the stresses of political life on the dingoes.


25th Opal

Just when I'd hoped the troubles were over for this year, another foul beast in the caverns. This one can apparently fly. So all our defenses are useless. Fortunately, it's in the lower cavern...which from memory, is sealed off. If it does get out, we can probably handle it. It aslo apparently has some kind of "flaming fire of death" thing going on, to quote the child who went to take a peek. Jolly good.




-------
TO continue about the 6th running gag I've got going, I may not be able to finish the year today. I'll try, and if I do, I'll edit this post. It's just one more month. That mayfly would have been an utter disaster had it hit any other cavern. As it is, we're sorted! And the middle cavern has drained, I just noticed.

I've set up McKiwi as our "champion against the oddly-named evil" not because she's my character (although I'll admit, that was part of it), but because she is an ungodly killing machine. Five hundred and sixty-six minor kills, ten notables. High master swordsdwarf, and she's the best-armored dwarf in the military. Although her feet and legs need a little better armor, potentially. She killed all the unicorns by herself (ok, except the last one, where she got some help from the other swordmaster before killing it. But it gored her leg after she'd cut all of its legs off).......and ran through the fires unscathed twice during the last siege.

[Wastedlabor]

Urist McKiwi looks like a good successor to Ardentdike's epic Urist Tomesglad. It must be in the name.

[Sebastian2203]

Can you add me to list ? I just joined to forum. But Im not very sure if I will have time to play if it will be my turn..

EDIT: And can you name some dwarf after me ?

[Wastedlabor]

Ah, at this stage of the fortress I'd rather have more experienced players to oversee it. Also the next DF update could be around the corner, so we can't linger too much waiting for next turns.

[Urist McKiwi]

Urist McKiwi looks like a good successor to Ardentdike's epic Urist Tomesglad. It must be in the name.

And ironically, my username is a shoutout to McDuck in the first place (also the fact that someone needed to do a trans-Tasman equivalent to ThatAussieDwarf. Ardentdikes and Swordthunders were the two forts that convinced me to try the game out seriously after a few brief abortive attempts).

I've had a nice walk around the cold dark campus I live on to wake me up, and so here I go. The final month of 1095! I even got the auto-save function to work so I could do this properly.


Diary of Urist McKiwi III, Dashing Swordsdwarf

26th Opal

The giant bug in the caverns is, indeed, sealed in. Thank goodness. Even though we could definitely kill it, I fear casualties would have been an issue. Now I can concentrate on finishing the towers on the gates, and perhaps finishing that bunker of mine....

28th Opal

Construction has been held up by fear of the undead. There's no danger, but the civilians are frightened. Very well. There's not much room for the militia, but I'm ordering both squads of marksdwarves up there to handle the problem.


2nd Obsidian

It worked! The Laborious Assembly shot down a bunch of the rotting hulks around the gate, and the masons could get on with their work. It seems the field of fire from the tower is less than anticipated, but still adequate for our requirements.

7th Obsidian

Construction proceeds according to plan. I've felt strange lately....I think that this "McDuck" fellow has been trying to get in my head again. Udib seems to have been right about it not working though. A few more weeks, and I'll stand down. Best not get over-exposed to this chaps mind before I'm wiping it off my sword.
Unfortunately, a problem is apparent with the design of the towers....building a roof is going to be night impossible But at this stage, they're unlikely to be finished anyway, so that's not my problem.

AnimaRytak, the blacksmith who taught me a little of his craft, has outdone himself today. A fine adamantine spear for Adil to wield in combat. He's also promised me some adamantine leggings. I asked him about the steel gear I'd ordered earlier, and he told me it was on track for completion soon as well. Good fellow....to rebuild the military we'll need only the best equipment, and he's turned out pretty good at making it.

12th Obsidian

I've found more recruits to get the military almost up to strength. In numbers, anyway. Only need 6 more dwarves and we'll have a full force of 60....most of whom will need massive training before they can see combat.

Unfortunately, some masons are complaining they "can't get down" from the northern gateway tower. Not sure why, they were fine getting up there...but I'll see about some stairs, just to keep them happy.


14th Obsidian

Miasma and stench fill the halls, but progress is being made. The corpse-railway, for all my additions never did work, is clearing the backlog slowly but surely.

Another few hundred undead arrived overnight. Guess we'll be needing those towers. Unless whoever they replace me with orders me out there, I'm not going to bother with them too much. The Balanced Furnaces will camp out in McDonald's tower for a bit and poke away at them for a while, but that's about it.

15th Obsidian

A crundle went wild this time. We whacked it with Udib's blessing to see what would happen. It burst. Apparently this only annoys McDuck, because another crundle did the same thing a few minutes later.

16th Obsidian

Apparently this necromancer (a farmer it seems, of all things. Kept shouting things like 'The world shall taste my bacon!' and 'Crop rotation is essential to ensure adequate nitrogen levels in soils!'.) isn't friends with the previous ones, because the undead we already had attacked him. We think he's still alive though.

17th Obsidian

Once again, our valiant Mayor is first on the scene when I call on the archers. It won't end this seige, but it'll help. And if that necromancer wanders close enough they can shoot him and end this whole thing nice and quickly.

Today I ordered the permanent imprisonment of Ustuth Arzuntir for multiple counts of murder. He's a known vampire, and frankly his anxious blaming of everyone else for recent drainings has been ridiculous. He will be walled in forever (again), and good riddance.

18th Obsidian

A thief was spotted skulking outside the walls, looking for the spoils of battle. Frankly, if that kobold can get past the undead, it's welcome to whatever it can carry.

...Oh will you look at that? The forest caught fire again, all by itself. Right next to that farmer. This is going to be fun. He's busy raising the dead from the last siege. Of all the ways to treat our fallen dead, we're going to have to shoot them until they fall over again. That's not going to be fun. Still. Let's hope this guy burns the way he deserves.

20th Obsidian

Confound it. He noticed it in time. Still, that'll show him. For all his dreams of a death-filled apocalypse, for us this is merely Thursday.


23rd Obsidian

I've ordered the marksdwarves to stand down. No point in wasting bolts just yet. I'm getting ready to stand down myself. Just another soldier, I'll be. Admittedly, just another soldier with my very own safety-bunker and private army, but still.

A child has been possessed. Udib and I rushed the victim to a safe place to see whether it was the work of McDuck. Fortuitously, it appears to be an unrelated party. Close observation is required, but no intervention as of yet.

I've ordered the ballista next to the crater fired at the discretion of the operators. With luck, this will take out some targets. We have plenty of spare ammunition for it, certainly. Unfortunately, the loaders are too afraid of the undead (or the volcano) to work on the engine. it was worth a try, I suppose. We did hit some, at least.

28th Obsidian

I stand down as overseer, content that while this year has been hard, there is still cause for hope. Animals are being butchered, armor made, walls built and maintained. Now we just need to find McDuck and stop him. Easier said than done, mind. Especially since if we actually do find him, he's probably already won. Still....I am a dashing swordsdwarf, and I'm pretty good at what I do. Let the better dwarf win, hmm?


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And so, Urist McKiwi III (Or 'Presentorb the Dabbling Treasure', as she's also known to absolutely no one) stepped down from duty as overseer to continue commanding the militia against the threat of McDuck.
Save is HERE.

Spoiler: McKiwi's Killscreen (Or part thereof) (click to show/hide)

Now, I've got two requests.

First off, please check that this is, in fact, the correct save. I've got three Moltenchannels save files, and I'm damned if I know which is which at 1:03AM. I think I got the right one. The year should be 1096. If it's 1095, I've goofed and will need to upload the correct save later on when I'm not sleep-deprived.

And secondly, could someone be kind enough as to run the save through Stonesense (or whatever visualiser currently works), and also upload a full map? I don't think single screenshots really do this place justice any more, but I can't get any mapping utility to work.

What I've only just noticed now, having finished the year, is that while we have a Royal Fist (the squad. Not a zombie, although I'm not ruling that possibility out either) and several Royal soldiers....we don't have any royals. They apparently all died at some stage and no one noticed. We're an excellent mountainhome aren't we?

Finally, a note on the Shroud of Armok. Currently, the draining system is the moat. It slowly "evaporates" or "drains" or whatevers its way out over a few weeks to a month after a long firing. However, it builds up a lot quicker than it fires, and there's a 1-3 day latency on the lever. So don't fire it for too long unless you really want to test our flood defenses. Since we don't have flood defenses, this would not be prudent.

[Triaxx2]

I'll also check the cart track.

[Wastedlabor]

Not sure if it has been noticed before, but there's another book in the fortress: "Surely Nobody Weeps In The End" 

[Urist McKiwi]

Not sure if it has been noticed before, but there's another book in the fortress: "Surely Nobody Weeps In The End" 

That is probably going to be extremely fitting once we're done with this trainwreck of a fortress.

Edit: Oh yes. In case anyone was wondering, I make it about 4 times the fortress caught fire during the year, all up. I think that's a new record.

[Wastedlabor]

Will post some stonesense pics soon. Just an overview of surface and first level:

[notquitethere]

Those towers need to be about five times taller.

[Urist McKiwi]

Those towers need to be about five times taller.

Neither of the ones on the gateway has a roof, so those can easily be extended.
Edit: Also we could do with a small tower near the trap corridor/volcano so we can shoot stuff on the other side without using the Shroud of Armok (it doesn't work well over there) (End edit)

 Anyone poked The Master?


One final thing I forgot: I put notes on several things (most notably the door/bridge controls). If it's a red exclamation mark on a purple square, it's one of those.

[Triaxx2]

Okay, so the prognosis for the minecart track is: A) You only set a leave stop, and not a return one. And B) you forgot to assign a minecart to it. So it's an easy fix for whoever gets it next.

[Urist McKiwi]

Okay, so the prognosis for the minecart track is: A) You only set a leave stop, and not a return one. And B) you forgot to assign a minecart to it. So it's an easy fix for whoever gets it next.

I'm reassured by the fact that my first attempt at transport stuff only went slightly wrong...I didn't assign a cart because I couldn't work it out, so the only thing I got wrong in the end is the stop designation (although if there's only a "stop 1" and no "stop 2", that's because I deleted it when it didn't work). Ah well. There's an iron minecart sitting down in storage......somewhere. It'll probably take a week or two for anyone to pick it up, but again, it's an easy fix.

[CaptainArchmage]

There's an iron minecart sitting down in storage......somewhere. It'll probably take a week or two for anyone to pick it up, but again, it's an easy fix.

I think I may have made a number of wood minecarts on my turn, or I could be thinking of the wrong fortress.