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Author Topic: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...  (Read 10690 times)

dos

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Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« on: February 22, 2013, 12:44:26 am »

Or did they?!?!? I just finished watching the hobbit, which always seems to fire up my DF desires.  Instead of playing a new game (i had just lost one to a series of unfortunate FUN events ..think ocean fort and collapsing mega bridge insta death).  So i decided to parrooze the middle earth article on Wikipedia about dwarfs.  There are some definite parallels between their history and our noble dwarfs or should i say dwarrows or dwerrows ( tolkien's "real historical" plural form of dwarfs).  How many of their mountain homes were lost because of a tantrum spiral resulting from say...melting to many masterwork metal cages? Or ONE dorf's death from a troll infecting wound? Or from being restriced to the wrong burrow for hours.... but i digress..

If you do read the wiki history http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarf_(Middle-earth), you can't help but think...Yeah,  i lost a fort to a dragon too bro, don't let it get to you, its FUN! You lost your whole family? eesh, sorry dude, but...that's..fun! RIGHT?  Or digging to deep and uncovering way more fun then you can hack..pun intended.

What are some of the most ridiculous tantrum spirals (regardless of recovery or abandonment) you've had?

Humor me. :o
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weenog

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2013, 12:46:15 am »

I fell victim to insane nekkid children and insane nekkid military back when that was a harder thing to avoid.
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dos

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2013, 12:56:19 am »

Did you lose the fort to it?  The time I had one die from a troll wound, I can only assume he had somehow gotten to close to everybody due to prolonged socialization..is that possible?
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weenog

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2013, 12:58:31 am »

The tantrum spiral got so bad, I wasn't ABLE to lose the fort. There was too much chaos going on, my poor computer ground to a halt.  For the best really... things have gone too far when a friendly unit snatches an infant from its mother's arms, and chokes the life out of it right in front of her.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

dos

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2013, 01:01:55 am »

I keep a lot of my war dogs and other big predators around my central staircase to catch beserking dwarfs.  In one of my most recent ones, I had a cougar (war?) that got up to 18 kills, all beserking dwarfs.  He was later killed by a goblin when the fort fell for good to an invasion...
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lollypox

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2013, 01:59:01 pm »

I had war dogs chained up along the staircase leading into one of my forts.

Next thing I know I'm getting combat reports of the dogs mauling one another/dwarves/babies/you get the idea, because they were pent up. The dwarves attacked the dogs, who then attacked the dwarves, dwarves who lost family to the dogs went crazy.

Then a necromancer found his way into my garbage room and the zombies started doing their thing, alot of them were mussel shells and dismembered limbs at first.

In the end, I managed to lock my expedition leader, a few haulers and some kids in my dining hall with some food. Thought I'd ride out the zombies, until my expedition leader started beating the kids to death with a table and I finally just let the zombies have them.
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KtosoX

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2013, 03:23:43 pm »

My first tantrum... The best soldier I had wen't berserk. He killed off 2-3 guys before they got him. I don't even recall what made him/her snap... But the stuff that was flying afterwards was cool as S**T!
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2013, 08:11:03 pm »

Nor did Middle-earth dwarves have the corpses of their loved ones get up and chew their faces off.
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Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

TheDarkStar

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2013, 10:35:33 pm »

I had a successful fort earlier. Almost exactly when I got a population of 80, a small goblin siege came. I was not worried, since I had half a dozen marksdwarves who doubled as hunters. I told them to attack, and... they promptly went to melee all the goblins. At that point, I realized that every one of the several hundred crossbow bolts on the map was forbidden, so I unforbid them all. Most of my fort suicided into the goblins trying to pick all the ones littered across the map up. The tantrum spiral was bad enough (constant tantrums, and about 5-10 insanity related deaths in 5-10 minutes) that I just decided to dig straight into !!!HFS!!! and get the clowns to finish it faster.

Nor did Middle-earth dwarves have the corpses of their loved ones get up and chew their faces off.

However, they did have to worry about goblin (orc) sieges, and found a forgotten beast/clown (the Balrog from the Fellowship of the Ring) from mining too deep.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2013, 11:13:47 pm »

If they lost Moria to one FB, and a goblinoid siege, they didn't deserve it in the first place.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

The_Kakaze

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #10 on: February 23, 2013, 01:30:09 am »

Nah the Balrog was totally the toughest clown left standing.... who then tamed a bunch of goblins for food.  I mean, with his, ahem, fast burning metabolism he really goes through the goblin sweetbreads.
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Tevish Szat

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2013, 01:50:05 am »

If they lost Moria to one FB, and a goblinoid siege, they didn't deserve it in the first place.

They lost Moria to a 40d-esque "endboss" clown (unique, superpowered named clown), plus one hell of a goblin siege.  The reclaim ran afoul of some nasty critter, possibly an FB, and it's worth noting that Gandalf ran into FBs/Clowns in the caverns, too...  "Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day."
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Xantalos

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #12 on: February 23, 2013, 01:52:24 am »

If they lost Moria to one FB, and a goblinoid siege, they didn't deserve it in the first place.

They lost Moria to a 40d-esque "endboss" clown (unique, superpowered named clown), plus one hell of a goblin siege.  The reclaim ran afoul of some nasty critter, possibly an FB, and it's worth noting that Gandalf ran into FBs/Clowns in the caverns, too...  "Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day."
Yeah. Although I have to admit it would be fun seeing how prosperous a DF player-run fort would become in Middle Earth.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #13 on: February 23, 2013, 03:32:17 am »

If they lost Moria to one FB, and a goblinoid siege, they didn't deserve it in the first place.

They lost Moria to a 40d-esque "endboss" clown (unique, superpowered named clown), plus one hell of a goblin siege.  The reclaim ran afoul of some nasty critter, possibly an FB, and it's worth noting that Gandalf ran into FBs/Clowns in the caverns, too...  "Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day."
::having seen his argument lost, Insanity takes a new approach!::

If they lost Erebor to one dragon, they didn't deserve it in the first place.
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Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

Xantalos

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Re: Middle Earth Dwarfs didn't have tantrum spirals...
« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2013, 03:36:35 am »

If they lost Moria to one FB, and a goblinoid siege, they didn't deserve it in the first place.

They lost Moria to a 40d-esque "endboss" clown (unique, superpowered named clown), plus one hell of a goblin siege.  The reclaim ran afoul of some nasty critter, possibly an FB, and it's worth noting that Gandalf ran into FBs/Clowns in the caverns, too...  "Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day."
::having seen his argument lost, Insanity takes a new approach!::

If they lost Erebor to one dragon, they didn't deserve it in the first place.
You call the flightless nonwallsmashing lizards currently inhabiting DF dragons?
You have seen nothing.
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