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Author Topic: Urist McGrandpa  (Read 1809 times)

Fortport

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Urist McGrandpa
« on: March 03, 2013, 08:38:54 am »

Somewhere in your fortress there's a ninety-eight year-old dwarf hobbling around with a cane looking after his eight grandchildren-- I know I have one. He winked constantly in conversation as a form of greeting, and had great empathy. Overall, he was a likeable fellow until he died in an ambush.. I buried him in his own tomb, as one of our fortresses elders, and founders. (He was a legendary farmer until I had him down as a cook.) He had a dented left buttock for some reason, for several years before his death. So that's why he limped here and there..

Let's hear about your elders, and what they're like!
« Last Edit: March 03, 2013, 08:40:25 am by Fortport »
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MIIIIGRAAAAAANTS!!

Spy227X

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2013, 09:57:25 am »

Urist mcGrandColossus is 20000000000000000000 years old.
He is tiny.
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

MattStriker

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2013, 10:18:30 am »

I once got a migrant who had around 20 grandchildren and a veritable shitload of great-grandchildren on top of that.

I was kinda suspicious of the guy since he was still in peak physical condition (great marksdwarf, in fact) so I quarantined him together with a cheesemaker. Yup, vampire. He ended up in a sealed guard tower with a crossbow and an ammo stash which he bravely defended until a bunch of goblins found a way to stake him from a distance.
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Deon

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2013, 12:33:19 pm »

90 years old is not a grandpa.
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Glanzor

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2013, 12:44:43 pm »

98 years isn't old for a dwarf. They live around 150 years on average.
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Laserhead

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2013, 12:53:57 pm »

True, but they often start having kids around 15. 90 is plenty old enough to be a grandpa.
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flabort

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2013, 03:20:46 pm »

So they could be great great grandparents by the time they die. If migrating to your fort doesn't kill them first.  :P
Excellent.
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The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

krenshala

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2013, 03:50:56 pm »

If we presume 15 years old when they first have children, and 150 when they die, then they could quite easily become great great great great great great great great grandparents while still kickin' goblins in the teeth.
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

Scruffy

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2013, 05:46:23 pm »

Aye. 90 years old is just a middle-aged dorf.
Anyway, I just met an old dorf granny on whose wrong side I would not want to get.
My fort was under constant little ambushes by warlocks (playing masterwork) and pretty much in a state of chaos. (Those things are nasty if you only have a melee army) Then a uninvited quest, a wyvern, decided to show up.  I hadn't had time to make my roof building destroyer resistant yet (only the spring of the third year. 33 dorfs alive. Must have set the megabeast requirements in the world gen too low) Darn critter killed everything on my rooftop gardens, broke a few doors and just walked in to the main staircase.

So, I ordered every militia squad to kill the "quest" before it slaughtered everyone. In the end the dorfs managed to swarm and kill the thing. (It was not as deadly as I remembered. Must have been changed since I last met one)
Anyway, after the fight I started looking for the hero who slayed the mighty beast. A 140 years old granny. (Mother of half a dozen and a grandmother of even more)
140y old dwarfette
She took joy in slaughter lately.
She is very weak and quick to tire.
Dabbling kicker
Dabbling striker
She was on her way to the booze stockpile for a drink and got interrupted by the wyvern. It is not wise to stand between a grumpy senior and her booze.

..On the other news, soon after her 3year old grandson mooded and became a legendary stonecrafter. My most skilled crafter. Still most likely wearing diapers.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2013, 05:48:14 pm by Scruffy »
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The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Di

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Re: Urist McGrandpa
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2013, 02:29:31 pm »

I've had a couple of 140 yearers show up once. Their relations creens were tremendous. At first, I've just put them in squad set for always training and forgot about them.
Ten years later, the fort has grown large and glorious. And grannies have become legendary hammerlords with 30 to 50 kills each.
And then their time has come. Not many have noticed that thanks to loads of masterful meals in legendary dinning room, and by checking a couple of yellow-happy dwarves I've found their son who was now a legendary axelord of second squad.
Their other child was once in the same squad as they were, but he got killed in shotgun misfire.
One of their grandchildren has joined their squad. A believe there were a couple of others their descendants among the civies, not really many though, I've been following a very strict policy about children.
There weren't any of grand-grand children though.
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