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Author Topic: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin  (Read 74385 times)

Immortal-D

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #315 on: February 06, 2015, 07:35:36 pm »

Oh my gosh, lol.  I just found this in HoL, actually fell behind at work today b/c I was reading.  I just reached the point where
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We take for granted that our Dwarves have infinite strength and endurance, that hauling boulders of gold & obsidian through 10 levels of stairs straight up doesn't pain them in any way.  Two things in particular really struck me though.  First is the Marksdwarves being assigned to bash each other with their crossbows.  Every single Fortress I have ever run has encountered this problem at least once.  90% of the time it's my fault :-[  Second is the description of how an ornate, gem-studded & engraved gold goblet actually comes in to being, the many steps involved in its' creation.  You have truly captured what a realistic view of the wholly surreal nature of a Fortress would be.  Classic 'train wreck in slow motion', I'm glad I caught this on a weekend, cuz I'm gonna be up all night reading.

TheFlame52

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #316 on: February 06, 2015, 07:43:11 pm »

EPIC

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #317 on: February 06, 2015, 07:50:31 pm »

Well damn. We were the monsters all along. At least Feb got what was coming to him.
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #318 on: February 06, 2015, 08:00:00 pm »

Oh my gosh, lol.  I just found this in HoL, actually fell behind at work today b/c I was reading.  I just reached the point where
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
We take for granted that our Dwarves have infinite strength and endurance, that hauling boulders of gold & obsidian through 10 levels of stairs straight up doesn't pain them in any way.  Two things in particular really struck me though.  First is the Marksdwarves being assigned to bash each other with their crossbows.  Every single Fortress I have ever run has encountered this problem at least once.  90% of the time it's my fault :-[  Second is the description of how an ornate, gem-studded & engraved gold goblet actually comes in to being, the many steps involved in its' creation.  You have truly captured what a realistic view of the wholly surreal nature of a Fortress would be.  Classic 'train wreck in slow motion', I'm glad I caught this on a weekend, cuz I'm gonna be up all night reading.
Thank you so much. I love hearing that people connect with the story and I love that the Hall of Legends is bringing more people to it. One of my side projects that I'm going to start working on after Dumplin wraps up is the Day That Brassworked Fell, it's going to have a much smaller scope but it's going to have the same basic theme of exploring the little moments that get lost in the scale of the game.

Immortal-D

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #319 on: February 06, 2015, 09:42:57 pm »

And here we are at the end! :D   ...... aw crap >:(  Having reached what I must presume is the penultimate chapter, I feel inclined to make a prediction;

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reality.auditor

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #320 on: February 13, 2015, 05:08:11 pm »

This mix of humour, horror and tragedy is excellent. Rules of DF collide with common sense resulting in hellhole not unlike North Korea concentration camp.

And here we are at the end! :D   ...... aw crap >:(  Having reached what I must presume is the penultimate chapter, I feel inclined to make a prediction;

Mine:

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heydude6

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #321 on: February 13, 2015, 07:39:34 pm »

Wait, did the story actually end yet? Is it over?
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #322 on: February 13, 2015, 07:46:51 pm »

Wait, did the story actually end yet? Is it over?
Nope.

Broseph Stalin

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Dumplin Lakewanders and the Worst Dwarf in the World
« Reply #323 on: February 18, 2015, 03:17:38 pm »

   Idly Dumplin examined the walls roof and floor of the twelfth bay.  She sought at first to busy herself while waiting for the doors to open or the guard to come down to get her but she quickly forgot where she was. Etched into the black, dead, stone were images. Images of cataclysmic fires, rampaging elephants, great carp snatching up fisherdwarves, whale carcases invigorated by dark magic storming beaches. The immense twelfth bay was much wider and longer than the rest and in places was separated into sections by great columns stretching to the vaulted ceiling. Dumplin could identify some method to their organization in that events, people, and fortresses were housed in different sections but there appeared to be an infinitely more complicated system in play. She quickly understood that these were not simple engravings but a painstaking catalog of real events. Dumplin read everything she could over the course of hours eventually lying down in exhaustion and sleeping. When she woke she confirmed that the guard had not come and the doors had not opened. She turned back to the walls and began reading again in the timeless hall of legends.

   Some stories spoke of great fortresses. The legends of the eternal fires of Boatmurdered, twice damned Headshoots, Battlefailed and all it's horrors, Gemclod which the swamp had long since swallowed, and the spire of Bravemule that chose to collapse rather than fall. These sat along stories of lesser known places whose tales seemed equally fantastic but far more arcane. Queerer legends too adorned the walls. Immortal warriors wielding backpacks, of fluffy wamblers defeating colossal golems, of elven warrior kings leading dwarven kingdoms. Some of the engravings filled her with disgust and unease depicting acts of dwarven cruelty. Great farms stripping mermaid flesh from bone, torture pits to school children in warfare, attempts to vaccinate soldiers against fire by melting away their body fat, and the most fell of scientific endeavors. Some things she saw were so impossible, so fantastic, so disturbing that every part of her rational mind said that they were simply the fiction constructed by a diseased mind but the fact they were held alongside the images she knew to be faithful convinced her that this was nothing short of a faithful retelling of an unimaginable history. Every battle, every fort, every hero, everything that populated even the most esoteric of dwarven legends was immortalized in this hall.

   Dumplin did little but read, she read until her head ached and she could retain no more information at which point she slept and started again. Never during this time was there a stirring behind the door or the troop of guards she had been expecting. She removed her breastplate and managed to work a reasonable shine into the super reflective metal. She had taken on a sickly pallor and horribly thin and her hair had grown scraggly and matted in places. There was a mad look to her that was if not worse than Iral at least awful in a new and different way. She considered how horribly stupid this had all been. There was nothing to do about it though, instead she just kept reading.
   Almost every story no matter how fantastic or frightening was also the story of an overseer. What infection had taken these dwarves? Goblins ,it could be said, were evil by nature. They were compelled to murder by the very fabric of their being and their demonic overlords were of little help. Kobolds were simply too stupid to survive by any means except thievery and were also products of their creation. Overseers were different, they were dwarves that for whatever reason were the most despicably evil type of person that could exist. Some were so utterly incompetent they abandoned the overseeing trade after their first fort was destroyed by their failure to bring any supplies. Others were so brilliant that their creations were a mockery of everything a common dwarf knew about the world. They created fortresses whose design was intended to divine the outcome of manipulating numbers, the purpose of this was unknown but likely apocalyptic in nature. Even at their dimmest they were a breed with the vision and intelligence to create fortresses and run fortresses, to amass armies, to issue sometimes suicidal orders to hundreds of dwarves with the unquestioning certainty that they would be obeyed. It was even said that some of them had through unknown methods bred new species such as the Tuskox and warped the very world with their terrible might.

   They wielded godly power and with that power a disturbing majority of them created hell on earth. Why? Why were so many fortresses places of unforgivable cruelty and pointless suffering?  Why had so many overseers done so many unimaginably cruel things? Some of it she understood, assassinating a dwarf who refused to kill or die in the arena while unpleasant was the act of a wrathful being. What perplexed her was the flippant nature of some of their crimes. There was no evil in the decision to create a winding staircase that stretched from the surface to the end of the earth's solid crust or the expectation that this staircase would be fearlessly traversed with barrels, bins, and wheelbarrows in tow.

   Eventually in this timeless place she came to imagine herself as an Overseer. Striking out with good intentions, seven dwarves, and whatever she could afford to put in a wagon. She could solve the simple problems, clean water for washing, alcohol for drinking, food and the rest for eating. Eventually she'd make some crafts to trade for more supplies and soon there would be artifacts. Their numbers swell until hundreds of souls were dependent on her and she alone was trapped with the knowledge that every fortress no matter how great or small was destined to fall. What would she do when the goblin hordes came? When Kobolds probed the defenses? When assassins and child snatchers began picking off the weak? When 200+ dwarves needed things from her how many would she actually care about? How many would be written off as garbagedwarves? What would it feel like when the first dwarf that uprooted it's life to live under her rule died because of her mistakes? What would it feel like when the hundredth did? Would she still imagine her subjects as living breathing dwarves with wants needs and inherent value?

   When she couldn't count them anymore and tragedy simply meant one number growing as another shrank would it still matter to her if one garbagedwarf's back hurt from hauling stone? Would she give a sadistic chuckle when one of them was killed in a gruesome fashion? Would she groan in frustration when another puking, eating, party throwing life was brought into the fortress promising to suck up resources and give nothing back for no fewer than eight years? Would she come to busy herself with spectacles of horror and madness? Would she be wrathful when one dwarf refused to fight in her arena?  After she walked away from the ashes of her seventeenth failed fortress and went off to start another would she be motivated by more than morbid curiosity?

   This was not a creature that was unaware of suffering. Protecting the baboons and her family had driven her mad. The overseer protected the entire fortress. Somewhere behind the immovable stone doors was a being that did not care for dwarven life. It had filled to many graves to care. It's view of the world was warped by legends of raging fires, horrible monsters, deadly plagues, and had come to exalt these things as glory. It knew of every misfortune that the world had ever visited upon the dwarven people and any sense of compassion had been beaten out of it or worn away by time. Failure was as inevitable for it as it was for any dwarf in the fortress and it fought anyway. It found cruel fascination in complicated traps and massive monuments and projects whose scope she found wholly inconceivable. Like Dumplin it mechanically and heartlessly it persevered. In it's madness and paranoia it built vast arrays of traps and weapons, it conscripted a massive military force and it trained them with cruel efficiency, it wracked it's evil mind to devise a defense against any foe and it had failed, it had known it would fail. What remained behind those doors could not care for dwarves, it saw only little interchangeable things that scurried about and eventually stopped. The alternative would be crushing.

   How many times had the winter freeze claimed entire families before animal fat and acorns were first pressed together for food? How many sieges ravaged the fortress before the Danger Room rattled day and night with the cries of dwarven agony? How many years had they been denied needed goods before the first caravan was sacked? How many dwarves walked alone into battle before their ranks were bolstered through impressment? How long had it vied for the satisfaction of the fortress before settling on it's survival? There was a being more miserable than any cavern dwarf or broken down hauler in command of the fortress. He must have known very well the stories engraved on those walls and floors and worked into every craft the fortress produced. What had the weight of the fortress done to the poor soulless husk entombed in the bowels of the citadel? 

   She had seen the charred landscape, ugly and baleful, but had not considered the rampaging fires that had twisted them so. For the first time since her arrival she felt a pain of sympathy for the worst dwarf in the world.
   “I understand that...” she searched for wisdom but found only fury. “This can't be what you want! You can't want the world to be this way!”

There was no response. Dumplin considered for a moment that the impossibly dense stone may make her voice inaudible and also considered that the Overseer simply didn't care to listen.

“I don't have any answers, I don't know how to run a good fortress but you have to at least want it. The dwarves that live here have to be the more important than fancy architecture or killing goblins their happiness needs to matter.”

There was no response.

“We matter! All of us, every dwarf in the fortress deserves to be alive and happy! You have to care! You can't forget that they all matter!”

Still the hall was silent. She sat quietly then. She looked over the walls some more and the hall sat unchanged. She could not know if the Overseer had heard her or planned to listen. Perhaps it was too late, perhaps there was nothing left in that broken shell that could be moved by her words. Perhaps it was only concerning itself with why this one dwarf chose to stand idly in place instead of working. Perhaps there was nothing behind the doors at all. It was not unfeasible that the overseer had abandoned the fortress like a dissatisfied god and hadn't deemed it necessary to send word to the citizens. In any case there was nothing left for her to say. The fortress was a dark and vicious place and if any goodness could be found in it it would not be created by the overseer. Dumplin turned and walked back down the hall and up the stairs.

She was yet again surprised to find no death squad Feb was not where she'd left him. Feb was not where she'd left him which implied he'd either recovered or been hauled to the tombs. She didn't have time to ask as “Siege” was the word on everyone's lips when she returned to the fortress. Dwarves were running around everywhere screaming and grabbing weapons. It would seem that a rather large enemy had found it's way to the bridge before it could close and the mechanisms that attempted to raise it did their duty but the materials of the bridge gave out. A few stone blocks were spread on the ground and a troll began tearing at the inner doors. The militia was dispatched but they didn't have time to rally, the bloodbath that followed was due in part to Cerol Sabershafts sudden retirement and in part to the mass rioting landing no small number of otherwise capable warriors in the hospital or the jail.

   There was an awful sound as the shotguns, catapults, and ballistae sprung to horrid life. The rapid cycle of their constant firing, arming, loading, and firing echoed deep into the fortress sounded to her like the horrible laughter of a black god sitting on it's throne in the underworld bathing in the delight of a new challenge.

   If the fortress fell then Obok would be lost with it. When the dust settled she would be punished for her impudence and if she was allowed to live it would certainly not be an act of mercy but until then  any harm that came to a dwarf of Arrowstockades would not be said to have come while Dumplin did nothing. She walked the long staircase to the top of the fortress and joined the fray.
   A massive fire had been started by a variety of explosive ammunition and outside the walls goblins died in screaming agony but the section of forest lost to Iral's self-immolation would not burn twice. And most of the attackers were now clustered in the pre-burnt section separated from those trapped inside with the dwarven defenders. Marksdwarves stood at the rear firing into the attackers as the infantry fought tooth and nail to push back the incursion.
   Every dwarf no matter how miserable was a dwarf, a dwarf that deserved to live. It was a struggle but she mustered all of the good left in her and tried with all her might to remember what it was to value life. If something resembling goodness would exist in Arrowstockades it would begin with he. Her aim was steady and her eyes were sharp as she struck the attackers pinning down her fellow dwarves. She effortlessly threaded the needle and sent shots passing through holes in the dwarven ranks  and directly into goblin targets. This created enough time for the the haggered warriors to defend themselves.
   “Ashmon.” Her brain said as she fired at the goblin pitched in combat with the Dwarf.
   “Avuz” Her brain said as she defended the guardsman.
   “Feb” There was a pause as she allowed the badly bruised dwarf to fight on his own until deciding that yes Feb was a dwarf too.

   When the fighting stopped she ran to the battlements to prepare for the next wave. What remained of the marksdwarves rallied over the entrance prepared to open fire when the charge began. When the inferno stopped it would be simple for the bulk of the invasion force to march right in and the weary militia may not be enough to hold them back. For now the invaders waited at an angle that didn't allow for attack by shotgun, catapult, or ballista.

   In the distance she saw a being of absolute horror. Her keen eyes traced it's frightful form and saw a hateful thing with a segmented body composed entirely of salt. It's hideous form undulated rhythmically as it stood in the center of a weakened goblin army. Their numbers were reduced but the goblin force would inflict terrible casualties if allowed to pass through the gates assuming the defenders were victorious at all. This demon was certainly no foot soldier and with it gone the attackers may break rank or at least fight with less discipline. It could be no less than sixty urists away and in perfect conditions striking a target forty urists away was an act of unparalleled marskdwarfship.

   Dumplin centered herself. She filled her heart with the love of life and compassion for all dwarfkind. “No more needless death,” she thought. “One shot and the day is won.” Dumplin wordlessly walked towards the western watchtower and took the slightly higher position. If the creature knew of her presence the improbable would become impossible and there would be no choice but open combat inside the walls. The heavy crossbow became light in her hands as she unstrapped it and held it at the ready. Salt was not spectacularly strong and whatever power the demon had it likely came from spitting fire or webs or poison gas, to dispatch it before it could bring that force to bear would save countless lives. Her footfalls stopped at the top of the watch tower and with one steady motion she tore out a chunk of matted hair observing how the wind carried it. She corrected for the wind and aimed at a high arc. She was interrupted by a loud metallic clang.
   Suddenly very confused she slowly turned to the west and saw a gnomish attack force consisting primarily of sharpshooters capitalizing on the ongoing goblin invasion.

“It's fortunate I have a helmet” She thought to herself.

She felt a trickle of blood.

“This is an awful helmet” She thought to herself.

The trickle became a gush and it escaped the bullethole in her helmet.

“Why have I been wearing this helmet?” She thought to herself.

There was a rainlike sound as a volley of bullets punched effortlessly through her armor and buried themselves in her flesh.

“Gwur?” She thought to herself as the bullet rattled around her brain.

Dumplin fell backwards.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2015, 06:40:08 pm by Broseph Stalin »
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reality.auditor

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #324 on: February 18, 2015, 04:02:52 pm »

It was inevitable.
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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #325 on: February 18, 2015, 04:25:40 pm »

Poor Dumplin, killed swiftly and brutally out of left field in true Dwarven fashion.

But I guess I've been wrong about this being over before.
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Immortal-D

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #326 on: February 18, 2015, 07:32:18 pm »

You know what would be truly tragic?  If she weren't dead yet.  I mean it's a pretty safe bet at this point, but Dwarves have been known to fully recover from having literally every bone fractured.

TheFlame52

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #327 on: February 19, 2015, 08:32:21 am »

You know what would be truly tragic?  If she weren't dead yet.  I mean it's a pretty safe bet at this point, but Dwarves have been known to fully recover from having literally every bone fractured.
I remember a dwarf named Balta in Towersomething that survived two 17-z falls. He was more cloth than dwarf. He eventually died of infection.

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Re: The Increasingly Tragic Tale of Dumplin
« Reply #328 on: February 19, 2015, 05:38:27 pm »

I would say that dumplin is dead. for now.

The title says "The Increasingly Tragic" in it, and this is in a fortress where necromancers are know to visit.

That, or, with the death of most of the workforce as caused by the seige, her body will be left to rot, and she will rise as a ghost, separated from her husband.
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Broseph Stalin

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Dumplin Lakewanders and the Worst Dwarf in the World
« Reply #329 on: February 20, 2015, 06:03:10 pm »

Dumplin saw the marksdwarves on the walls fade into the distance. She was floating away. Backwards, panning out from the carnage and violence of the wicked world she'd lived in for so long. She saw the fighting grow more distant as her weightless form continued to drift away. The battlements came into view and soon so did the wall. She was descending, slowly and peacefully back to the earth. The wall soon rose above her and the sky came into view. The tearful and pained cry of “Dumplin” from Degel did not wrench her heart. She felt peace, for once since coming to Arrowstockades there was no pain or fear. She was no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had come to the fortress to find a new life and now she finally felt free of it. She was loosely aware of the metallic rattle as her armor clad body collided with the ground and the snapping sound of her bones fragmenting within it.

   The world was very still now. She saw only the sky as musket balls and crossbow bolts whizzed overhead. It all seemed very small now. The fortress was an insignificant pocket of an insignificant territory of an insignificant region in an insignificant world. Peace, finally she'd found peace.

   She thought of Okon, he would be ready to walk soon free of his mothers influence. She lamented that the first walk he would take on his own would be up the grand staircase. He would grow into a boy and then a man who would with any luck be smart enough to leave the fortress before it got hooks into him. Darkness creeped inward from the edges of her vision. She was subtly aware that her heartbeat was rapidly falling. Soon she would be with Asen again and she would rejoin the Baboons holding a place for their captain when his time came as well.
   In retrospect it had been a terrible life but not a bad one. She'd been a laborer, and dabbled as an artisan for a little over a week, she'd been a hardened convict, a wife, a mother, and a warrior. She'd (not technically) slain an ancient monster,learned forgiveness in the arena and denied an armor clad demon her soul. She survived a war with a god, taught courage to the Baboons, lost most of her friends in a day, defeated a sadistic guardsman, and read arcane secrets from the walls of a palace in hell. She closed her eyes prepared for some well deserved rest.

   Dumplin Lakewanders felt comfortable that she had finally won.





HATE FEAR DIE

A wooden ceiling and a curious looking dwarf.

HURT STOP DON'T

A large pair of eyes inspecting her.

NO WHY QUIT

A dwarf standing over her.

STOP DEATH PLEASE

A dwarf wearing a blue dyed robe and holding a very long strip of paper stood in front of her.

“Hi, I'm your doctor!”  The dwarf said. “You're my first patient. As you may know our entire medical staff was murdered by angry patients during the riots and most of our patients were murdered by our angry medicals staff so we're a little bit short handed. I have literally never been in this room before this week. Funny story actually, I decided to sleep up here because it was closer than the dormitory and I guess someone saw me and decided I should make myself useful because when I woke up I was Chief Medical Dwarf. Can you believe it? I've been here for about a month and I'm already a noble, this place is great! And speaking of lucky, I saved your life!
   You were really messed up, we had to conscript a team of doctors to make sure you didn't die before you got all your procedures done. I can't read this list, I've tried four times and I always lose my place. I brought the bookkeeper up here to read it and he couldn't get the same number of injuries twice. Muscle torn apart organ torn, bone shattered times infinity, if you need a clear picture. I've never seen anyone who was supposed to be dead as much as you are. ”

Dumplin blinked.

“So I found some cloth and thread and a couple sticks in those chests over there so I figured I'd just use them on you. I wrapped some stuff up and stitched some stuff up, by the way did you know there isn't a single needle in this fortress? I thought I was going to dislocate my shoulder doing all that needleless suturing. Some of your bones were broken so I stitched those back together and I'm pretty sure I put them back together alright, they look like bones.  Also surgery, you had so much surgery.
    I mushed some of your organs back together and I guess that's good, incidentally do you have a top liver because I found the left and right but there was this other thing and I have no idea what it is. Oh, I was going to mention it when I was talking about your bones but a lot of them were outside your body and I don't think they were working properly so I pushed them back in. I'm not sure if there's any tools here to help reboning but unless it's a bucket it's not in the chests so just some really hard pushing.
   After that I took a couple of the small sticks and put your arms, legs, hands, and feet, in them because that seemed fun and healthy. I got you a big stick to walk with but your legs are both filled with thousands of tiny bones instead of the two or three big ones you need to walk so that went back in the chest, instead I filled one of the buckets with pond water and poured into your unconscious mouth.

Dumplin made a grunting sound.

“I consulted some militia dwarves for information on why you weren't dead and they said if a bullet didn't pierce your heart, throat, both lungs, or go deep into your brain it was basically impossible for it to kill you. I guess your armor deflected bullets away from your heart and into your non-vital organs. Now your helmet actually seems to have slowed down the bullets so they only went into your “outer” brain which is really just padding to protect your inner brain which makes you alive. We counted the holes in your helmet and we counted the bullets on the ground that passed through and we figure there's six or seven in your head. On that same subject you are filled with bullets.

 Yeah like a lot of bullets. There are so many bullets inside of you. I don't know what a normal number of bullets to be shot with is but I'm guessing you have enough bullets in you to give that number to every dwarf in the fortress. So many bullets. I talked to the metalsmiths and they say there might be enough bullets inside you to melt them down and make a statue of you being shot with the bullets. It's crazy, everything I know about the world says that's impossible. Now I talked to Feb about what he did when he got shot and he said the doctors left it in so he took a bath and just yanked it out of his eye then, so I guess just do that.
   
Any way,  you're all better- well in several months you will be, right now you're in traction. I'm not sure how long it'll take you to heal but they told me standard procedure was to deconstruct the traction bench and throw you on the floor and see if you could go back to work every few months. Dwarven medicine at it's finest.”

Dumplin made a clicking sound.


“Hypothetically that is. Practically it looks like you've gotten a little paler since we've finished and some of the other new doctors think you're bleeding internally. My thinking is that blood is supposed to be inside of you so it's just going back into your body but everyone else says your going to die in a couple days or hours but if you're still alive let me know so I can rub it in their faces. ”

“Arp?”  Dumplin worked out.

“You've gotten pretty popular too, everyone wanted to see the dwarf that got shot to pieces and lived. You're a bigger celebrity than Bemul Sheep Shearer gods rest his soul! You should meet your fans in the dining hall if you don't die of blood loss, get an infection, or get killed by a tantruming doctor. .”   

There was an unpleasant sound of what Dumplin inferred to be several iron musketballs rubbing against each other as she breathed.

“Looks like we're all done here, bye first patient.” He kicked the bench. “Back to work I go!”
 
   It is said that when a dwarf sees death as imminent and expects wholly to die they enter a state of incredible single-minded focus. Such dwarves are capable of unimaginable feats, these condemned warriors know no equal in battle and strike with righteous fury awakened in their dwarven blood. These so called “martial trances” are the simple and flawed imitations of the crystaline clarity with which Dumplin saw and the infinite well of power and fury that she drew upon as the fortress shook with her mighty roar. If there was an enemy more powerful than Arrowstockades she didn't know of it and in the face of this invincible foe she entered a true martial trance rolling out of bed on her shattered limbs and clambering past the terrified doctor and down the stairs like a frightful octopus wrapped in cotton. She rolled awkwardly down the grand staircase knocking dwarves out of her way and menacing those that stood in her path until found herself in the caverns.

   She moved in a spiderlike fashion scrabbling to the vein she'd left Obok in, scooped the boy up, and then made a painfully long and painfully painful belly crawl up the grand staircase tripping biting shoving and generally upsetting the dwarves who used the busy thoroughfare. She clambered up with disturbing speed as her noodly limbs flipped about. Eventually she reached the workshops and pulled herself across the ground to the jeweler's shop.

   It had taken a few menacing gurrgles to frighten the attending craftsdwarf into fleeing and with an implement he'd dropped began working. She didn't have to think of anything clever, a lifetime in the fortress (nearly five years) had made the one lesson and recurring theme of her life perfectly clear. 

   She scratched away at the large glass gem on her quiver vandalizing the previous idealistic slogan. She carved a simple message into it to replace her earlier mantra and then with Obok in toe crawled down one flight and through a complex series of bodily manipulations made her way into the dining hall. A few dwarves reacted to her but most had seen stranger things and went about their business.

   Dupmlin then mustered all of the ancient power remaining in her blood and she bent her own will. She forced herself to love Arrowstockades, to desire nothing more than to recover, to see another day, and to grow old in the most splendid of all dwarven kingdoms. Sure enough she noticed the fatigue of bloodloss almost imediately as the universe predictably conspired to disappoint her. By the time the joy of being done with the wretched fortress overtook her it was too late for the fates change their plans  and she felt herself dying. 

   Anyone watching would see her expression change from burning rage, melancholy, abject terror, wistfulness, and by the time she'd breathed her last; peace. Whatever battle she'd fought lying on the floor of the dining hall with blood filling her chest cavity she seemed satisfied with it's resolution. She'd come to accept she was not the hero of any story. Her desire to find the right thing to say at the right time was gone so instead she mustered one final breath and repeated to Obok the words she'd etched into the green glass gem set into her quiver.

    Dumplin Lakewandrers left the world having given it very little. When the dwarves of the dining hall stripped her of her possessions they found a suit of welded mithril armor, a set of decent clothing, a crossbow, all given to her by the fortress and returned to the fortress. They also found a few heaping handfuls of iron and steel bullets that she had technically collected which were eventually melted into bars. They took also the quiver which she had made and given to her son but they could not take the words she'd carved into it, the same words she'd left in his ear.

“Fortresses suck.”




Epilogue

   After Dumplin Lakewanders was shot a spectacular number of times by a gnomish deathsquad and lived only long enough after treatment to return her son to the “safety” of the dining hall something odd happened to the fortress. People swore the crystal glass was less brilliant, the gold had lost it's luster, and an Arrowstockades goblet had somehow become a lesser thing. The meals lost their flavor, the wine lost it's substance, and the clothing seemed more “tacky” than “lavish”.  The uniqueness of the fortress disappeared as well. There were no more massive projects and the day to day became focused on producing enough food and drink to live with most dwarves finding themselves with many idle hours and almost no unfortunate accidents. Some were quite pleased with this but others believed the Overseer had abandoned them. Some returned to the hillocks or the mountain halls, others became city dwarves and a few even came to join new fortresses.

   Feb One-Eye remained in Arrowstockades as champion eventually taking up the Prowler of Rasps, he was killed by a mad dwarf and fashioned into a loin cloth. Degel went to the mountainhomes where he served as a general for less than a month before he surrendered to a much smaller elven force, joined their civilization, and became a flower picker called Foranane by his Elven kinsmen. He did not learn Elvish. Okon and Lolor decided a fortress with a bad reputation would be safer to live in and settled in the fledgling fortress of Joytheater, a haunted swamp. They didn't even make it inside. The Overseer, it is said, founded a new fortress that, facing destruction, created a path from hell to the surface of the earth and ushered in seven hundred years of darkness that are not important to this story. Ashmon found a rock. Obok grew to be a man of twelve years old, became a hunter, and left Arrowstockades leaving his crossbow but taking his quiver with him. No one is quite sure what became of then for there are many stories and some of them are simply not true.

   What is known is that travelers tell stories of a lake in the mountains and is so deeply embedded in the thick would and rugged terrain one could only come across it if they were truly and utterly lost. On this lake ,they say, is a thoroughly unimpressive stronghold where the natural order is subverted. Where dwarves have no need of riches and no lust for war. In that stronghold it is said that they eat bland mushrooms and drink weak mushroom wine and work vigilantly to ensure their stock of the two never runs out. They have no silk but inexpertly spin coarse pigtail thread and produce coarse pigtail togas that may or may not be primitively dyed. They have no goblets here but they have poorly crafted irregular stone mugs decorated with poor pictures of  flowers birds or other simple things. They are not troubled by thieves or raiders for they have no wealth, they are not overworked for they expect very little, they do not face horrible ordeals for their lives are very simple. It is said that if a dwarf comes to hate fortress life and walks into the wilderness then they may be magnetically drawn into the deep woods and the high mountains until they find Wanderedlake where they will be welcomed as brothers should they only find the overseer who knows well the message and speak the words “Fortresses Suck.”


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