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Author Topic: Dark Souls 2 - PC Controls are the final boss. HERE THERE BE SPOILERS.  (Read 85906 times)

nenjin

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  • Inscrubtable Exhortations of the Soul
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It’s the worst and least ethical form of play, taking the naturally constrained single encounters of Chess or Go into the heart of an infinity spiral rotating out from the center of a box of microprocessors built out of a grand network of exploitive labor practices around the world, creating a transfixing hallucination sublimely disassociated from the networks of labor required to produce it. The friendships formed in message boards and YouTube comment threads offset by the number of lives pinned in place by the economic conditions necessary for the creation of such hallucinatory machinery, offering the great thrill of achievement for having done nothing but press a few half-inch buttons, hypnotized by the unseen patterns passing through the screen, scrutable only to those others who’d undergone the same rite of initiation and spoke the secret lexicon.

What the actual fuck am I reading.

Fucking brilliant, isn't it? That they published it is even more brilliant. If this keeps up I may have to start reading Forbes.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

ShoesandHats

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  • Shoes cancels Drink: Intensified by Penguin Man.
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That kind of shit makes me angry, not only because I like the game (though that also contributes to it), but also just because of the atrociously florid language he uses to describe video games. Make up your mind, either you're a practical writer and use relatively simple language to effectively communicate a point, or you use sentences the average reader has to pore over eight times before understanding you so that you can inject as much metaphorical meaning into your writing as possible. You can't be James fucking Joyce and write a review on Call of Duty at the same time.

If you want to write a commentary on how modern life is affected by the intrusion of machines into our social and private lives, don't do it under the pretext of shitting all over a good game. Especially when you never even get around to shitting on that specific game, but rather take a dump so massive that it sprays over every video game that exists and will ever exist.
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Levi

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Quote
I hated the first Dark Souls and so I decided I should learn it better than any other game. I have spent between 300 and 400 hours playing it.

Hehehehe.  Sounds like he loves it to me.
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Avid Gamer | Goldfish Enthusiast | Canadian | Professional Layabout

Mictlantecuhtli

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It’s the worst and least ethical form of play, taking the naturally constrained single encounters of Chess or Go into the heart of an infinity spiral rotating out from the center of a box of microprocessors built out of a grand network of exploitive labor practices around the world, creating a transfixing hallucination sublimely disassociated from the networks of labor required to produce it. The friendships formed in message boards and YouTube comment threads offset by the number of lives pinned in place by the economic conditions necessary for the creation of such hallucinatory machinery, offering the great thrill of achievement for having done nothing but press a few half-inch buttons, hypnotized by the unseen patterns passing through the screen, scrutable only to those others who’d undergone the same rite of initiation and spoke the secret lexicon.

What the actual fuck am I reading.

You haven't seen this? One of the funniest pieces of DS2 criticism, honestly. Mostly because of the quote Levi ^ just posted.
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I am surrounded by flesh and bone, I am a temple of living. Maybe I'll maybe my life away.

Santorum leaves a bad taste in my mouth,
Card-carrying Liberaltarian

Urist McScoopbeard

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Quote
I hated the first Dark Souls and so I decided I should learn it better than any other game. I have spent between 300 and 400 hours playing it.

Hehehehe.  Sounds like he loves it to me.

That it pretty freakin' hilarious. It's like saying "I hate racism, so I became a racist."
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This conversation is getting disturbing fast, disturbingly erotic.

WillowLuman

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More like "I hate coffee, but I must drink 7 CUPS EVERY DAY!"
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Endymion

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Well it looks like the speedrunning crowd has found another interesting bug. By using some odd combination of parrying and rolling while reposting they've managed to start walking on air. They are currently trying to figure out how useful this can be. At minimum it seems like it'll be an easier and quicker way to skip the shrine of winter.
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Watching Wizard of Oz while listening to Dark Side of the Moon on shuffle.

WillowLuman

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So, a friend came over and we decided to play this. Deprived, champion's covenant, no magic, hand the controller over on death. He's great at dodging and fighting without lockon, while I'm good at parrying/riposte. So, during my turn, we found something really really weird.

Got a riposte on a hollow, hit him with the light attack before the "fall on your ass" animation finished. At first I thought I'd screwed it up, since he teleported back up to his feet (you know how it is), but then our character proceeded to do a Dark Souls 1 style riposte animation, shanking the hollow in the stomach with a dagger.
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

MDFification

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Greetings from NG+, where PvP is approximated 300% better.
There's only one problem though; get used to no summons. Co-op is basically dead once you pass a certain soul-memory bracket, except for people who forgot to do their sunbroing before hand. It's a shame, because I was hoping to use that to keep Lucatiel alive through Lost Sinner... darn pyro phantoms messing up muh game.
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Mindmaker

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It's like the further you progress, the less From tried to design good boss fights.
Ancient Dragon is a tedious mess.
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Sindain

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It's like the further you progress, the less From tried to design good boss fights.
Ancient Dragon is a tedious mess.

Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight IMO.
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"just once I'd like to learn a lesson without something exploding."

Levi

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It's like the further you progress, the less From tried to design good boss fights.
Ancient Dragon is a tedious mess.

Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight IMO.

Yeah, why you beating up on the nice dragon?  Next thing you'll tell me is you beat up that confused old man who wanders in circles in the basement.
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Avid Gamer | Goldfish Enthusiast | Canadian | Professional Layabout

WillowLuman

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It's like the further you progress, the less From tried to design good boss fights.
Ancient Dragon is a tedious mess.

Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight IMO.

Yeah, why you beating up on the nice dragon?  Next thing you'll tell me is you beat up that confused old man who wanders in circles in the basement.
I accidentally hit him with a lightning bolt and his door turned into a fog wall. So I went in and he 1-2-3'd me to death.
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

nenjin

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It's like the further you progress, the less From tried to design good boss fights.
Ancient Dragon is a tedious mess.

Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight IMO.

I'm having flash backs to EQ, where NPC vendors and tavern owners required a full party to kill :P
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

Aklyon

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It's like the further you progress, the less From tried to design good boss fights.
Ancient Dragon is a tedious mess.

Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight IMO.

I'm having flash backs to EQ, where NPC vendors and tavern owners required a full party to kill :P
How much of that party would actually survive the fight?
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Crystalline (SG)
Sigtext
Quote from: RedKing
It's known as the Oppai-Kaiju effect. The islands of Japan generate a sort anti-gravity field, which allows breasts to behave as if in microgravity. It's also what allows Godzilla and friends to become 50 stories tall, and lets ninjas run up the side of a skyscraper.
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