Turn One Hundred and SeventeenThe Temple of Sef...Charge at the star-throwing ninja and chop him into flaming bits.
So, eventually, Gervedder realises that there is a ninja throwing ninja throwing stars in Whiz’s face, and charges at him. He rolls a 6, which is pretty awesome – but so does the ninja! Impressed at his foe’s awesomeness, and sensing the mutual respect between warriors, Gervedder realises there is nothing left to do but call upon his power of flame, and his axe sets the ninja on fire with the power of his mind!
So he kind of at least chops him into one flaming bit, which is pretty sweet, really.
Flames Acquired: Ninja Number One:
Heavy Burning!The ninja, torn between continuing to make Whiz’s face bleed, or turning to fight this new and awesome if not yet deadly enemy, can’t work out what is most likely – facing the immediate threat, or sacrificing his life for the greater good and concentrating his attacks, so in the end he
…swivels on his heels and throws a volley of ninja stars at Gervedder’s face.
…But Gervedder is awesome, and smacks the ninja stars out of the air with his bare fist, sending them flying into the ninja’s chest! Bleeding trickles out! The ninja tumbles forwards, silently but dramatically dying!
Action: Do a pole twirling dervish sword dance on the Hippo!
…Declaring that enough staring – and it is unclear if she is directing this at herself, staring at the hippo’s arse, or at Gervedder (actually I've a feeling I mean Tackov, and probably Bukkar too, and possibly Whiz – probably all the occupants of the room, in fact, except Gervedder), staring at hers, had been done, Lady Foxglove gratuitously acts. Swishing her hair about, she twirls herself sultrily around her pole, jiggling herself about in a suggestive manner, and getting into really quite a speedy and suggestive twirl when suddenly she stops dead,
…her sword stuck in the hippo’s shoulder blade. The hippo, who had been quite entranced, turns to stare at her mournfully and lets out a forlorn but clearly severely lovestruck moan.
He trundles over to Lady Foxglove and tries to nuzzle up against her thigh.
Whirlwind Rage!
Being Angry and protective of his foul barrel, Bukkar has no choice but to indiscriminately attack everyone in, and not even in, sight, no, wait, everyone in range, which is basically Bukkar’s side of the room, twenty feet turning out to be quite far and possibly not very well thought out as a skill.
Whirling like Foxglove, Bukkar pulls out his fists and flings himself about the room – comrades, hippos, and all – smashing every last one in the face.
…Or rather, attempting to: he misses both Lady Foxglove and her latest lover, and Gervedder, and the two nearest ninjas, one of whom I think is dead now anyway and the other one of which is about to burn to death at the end of the turn. But! Alas! He doesn’t miss his comrade Whiz, whose guts he batters in with a hearty blow!
Mightily alarmed, Tackov doesn’t hold his punches when Bukkar tries to smash his head to pieces, and taking advantage of an unfortunate wobble by the vomitmonk he
…gives him a violent slap on the cheek, which doesn’t actually even sting, and merely enrages Bukkar slightly more, leading to
…another incompetent attempt to smash Tackov’s head to pieces. This time Tackov is really pissed, so
…he gives Bukkar a slap on the
other cheek!
Having watched all this nonsense rather closely, and not approved of Bukkar’s attempt to smack up her special hippo friend, Lady Foxglove decides to use her free counterattack to teach him a lesson:
…a lesson in how to miss!
Bukkar laughs to himself, and smacks – at least it looks like a smack, and not anything worse, like, say, a fondle – Lady Foxglove in the upper torso kind of area, but her chest armour deflects the
inappropriate fondle strike!
Wound Acquired: Whiz the Whiznificent:
Massive Gut Damage!Continue to mercilessly attack!
The few remaining – two living, and one living but burning, if I remember right, it’s not very clearly documented, really – ninjas continue to mercilessly attack the adventurers!
The burning one selects Bukkar as the most dangerous foe, although it’s not obvious who he is most dangerous to, and immediately leaps through the air at him, burning guts first, hoping to smash the drunken fiend’s
…head off with his flaming intestines!
…One minute Bukkar’s head is on his neck, whirling about in a rage, and the next minute it’s on the floor! And flames are on his neck instead! And there’s a bunch of blood coming out of both!
With a deadly grin the burning gut ninja burns to death!
Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Severed Head!Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Burning Neck Stump!NO HEAD! OVERDRIVE MODE ENTERED: BUKKAR CRANGROM!
Impressed by their brother-in-arm’s amazing death-gut-torpedo sacrifice, the two remaining ninjas on the other side of the room rush into combat, dashing across the greasy floor
…without any problems and hurling themselves at Gervedder,
…and slashing at him with their ninja swords to so little effect that the Messenger of Death
…merely turns and disdainfully chops one of them to a single burning piece. A single burning and bleeding piece.
Drink a Minor Health Potion, put a shield up, annd shoot another round of bolts at the angry, angry hippo.
Whilst all this is going on, Whiz stops being smashed in the guts by his own comrade long enough to drink a Minor Health Potion AND put a shield up, AND shoot a pair of b- WAIT NO IS THAT TOO MUCH? Drinking, magicking, and dual wielding crossbows in the same turn? Top half of the dice says no: 2/d4. Ok, you can have one shot:
…it would hit, but the hippo dodges. Oh well. At least you stopped bleeding.
Self-extinguish.
DroneBongo: What does Zombie Hippo taste like?
"Blimey!" realises Tackov,
"I am on fire!". He takes immediate action,
…just about managing to pat out most of his flames, but still smouldering somewhere deep amongst his ample chest hair.
...Just then, Tackov notices his tambourine licking the zombie hippo's ankle.
Ride the hippo again! Or for the first time, I suppose!
Smelling the burning body hair, perhaps, or seeing the angry hungry zombie hippo nuzzling up against Lady Foxglove – her chief rival for title of hottest lady adventurer still living in this party – Sylvanna cries out.
"Nnnnnneeeevvvvveeeeeeeeeeer!"
She runs up behind the hippo on tip toes, back flips,
…and lands on its back, feet firmly around its midriff and hands firmly on its neck!
Sylvanna the Felonious is now riding Lady Foxglove’s zombie hippo lover!
Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part
There's a seemingly pacified zombie hippo next to Foxglove, and 2 ninjas next to Gervedder – one's on fire and bleeding a bit. There is a door to the north, just past the start of the greasy slope.
Turn summary for the GM’s sake:
Gervedder chopped two ninja’s into burning bits; Bukkar punched his team before a ninja severed his head with his burning intestines, and then Sylvanna jumped on the zombie hippo that Lady Foxglove had just seduced with a poledance.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 4 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. +1 to future gut damage. -1 to melee. +1 left leg defence. -1 to feet. Still burning a bit!
Health: [HP: 20/65] |
Severed Guts! |
Magical Saucepan Leg |
Severed Foot! |
Smouldering Chest!Abilities: Airfist I,
Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Mouldy Wizard Hat, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 524 Green Farthings, 206 Yuros,
Solid Gold Lingerie x 2, a squashed and severed foot (own), a massive angry boulder stalker,
Burny-Vomity-Nakedy Wand;
Robe of Improved Magic,
Holy Incendiary Grenade of Sef.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 4 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg, groin, head and breast defence. -1 to social interaction except with rats. +1 to balancing. +1 to strength. Last in initiative rolls. Shielded: +2 to defence for 2 turns.
Health: [HP: 45/90] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! Mummy!Abilities: Competent Crossbow User,
Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow x2, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 11 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x1, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 0 Green Farthings,
Steel Groinplate,
Steel Helmet,
Steel Breastplate.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 4 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves. +1 to hit with axe (flaming).
Health: [HP: 90/90] Extra Long Legs!Abilities: Gauntlet,
Sprint of Fury,
Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 0 bandages, 0 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1,
Masterwork Flaming Axe of Death.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 4 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence. Dodges fist missile hit. -1 to initiative and balancing.
Health: [HP: 90/90] |
Broken HeadAbilities: Nonchalant Dodge,
Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: The Raven's Wingblade,
Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 4 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status: Naked! Headless! |
OVERDRIVE MODE!Health: [HP: 01/90] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Guts |
Blessed By the Godses |
Stony Facelegthing |
The Burning!Abilities: Whirlwind Rage I,
Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Crossbow, 0 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, pick.
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious
Class: Level 4 Alchemical Flesh Mechanic
Status:Health: [HP: 65/90]Abilities: Construct Control I,
Craft Corpse Glue I,
Craft Alchemical Corpse Glue I,
Corpse Assimilation ,
Crawly HandsInventory: A dead kobold, clothes,
Buckler of Sharp Death, 0x Glue,
Hat of Command.
Name: Rattlefang’s DroneBongo of Vengeances
Class: Level 2 Shamanic Death Tambourine
Health: [HP: 35/35]Abilities: Two Legged Death Tambourine,
Incredibly Sharp Teeth Name: Jack the Hippo
Class: Hungry Hungry Zombie Hippo
Health: [HP: 125/200] | Severed rear left leg
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 181246 times)