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Stabbity?

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Author Topic: (ISG) The Wars of Failsword  (Read 24385 times)

hops

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(ISG) The Wars of Failsword
« on: August 02, 2013, 01:51:15 am »

((Temporary game until I stop getting sick and go back to run my games))



Oh hello. I didn't notice you there.

Actually I did. I'm a GM. Buuuuuuuut normal people won't notice you.

'Why?' you ask.
'What the hell?! Did you just make me talk?' you ask.
The answer to the first question: You DO NOT EXIST.

So, first thing first, are you a boy? Or are you a girl? This is totally important. Like, maybe a cult's world domination plan hinged on sacrificing a male or female virgin. That virgin might or might not be you depending on your gender.

Haha, I'm just fucking with you. But seriously, what's your gender?
« Last Edit: February 09, 2014, 05:50:40 am by Objective »
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

Avatar by makowka

Harbingerjm

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2013, 01:52:57 am »

We are free from such mortal constraints as gender.
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15:35   HugoLuman reads Harb his secret spaghetti recipe

FuzzyZergling

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2013, 01:54:06 am »

Male.
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Eric Blank

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2013, 01:57:09 am »

Female, of course.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Spinal_Taper

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2013, 02:01:51 am »

We are free from such mortal constraints as gender.
Yeah. Stuff like that is just the C+ establishment keeping down the people.
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hops

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2013, 02:42:15 am »

Male.

Male, you say? Hm. Isn't that a bit, BORING?
Oh, of course I won't compromise your freedom! No, no I'm not a railroading GM.


Female, of course.



'Oh wow I am drowning in all these freedom! It would be a lot better if you stop making me say things!' you say.

But actually, no, that's also BORING as well. How about we go with...


We are free from such mortal constraints as gender.



Yes, YES! You are a GOD! That means you're biologically pansexual! You can either choose to be female, or male!

Most of the Gods tend to have their own designated gender, but you're too RADICAL for that. You are the RAD WYVERN RED.




You are currently standing in your VAGUELY TEMPLE-LIKE FLOATING FORTRESS SHIT, plotting a feud against your enemy, the LADY OF CONTAINERS. You had been trying to discuss to her civilly about how SHITTY her creations are, but so far she had been ANNOYING and pretty much being a SHITLORD. It is over. You will destroy her CREATIONS, then you will DESTROY HER.

But first, you need a plan.

What will you do?

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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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IronyOwl

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2013, 02:57:48 am »

We shall seduce one of her USELESS BOTTLE GNOMES into betraying his or her kin, of course. With an inside (wo)man, our DRAKELING HORDES, cute though they may be, will be able to effortlessly crush her WORTHLESS CREATIONS.

And once her minions' cities lie in ruins, obliterating the rest of her POINTLESS BULLSHIT should be incredibly simple, as there will be no one to stop us save her herself.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

FuzzyZergling

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2013, 03:18:57 am »

Retrieve DRAGON WHISKEY from SECRET COMPARTMENT.
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Harbingerjm

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2013, 07:18:14 pm »

What will you do?
Repent. See the light. Realise the awesomeness that is the box.
Go and knock on the Lady of Containers' door and convince her to purchase some fine quality tupperware.
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15:35   HugoLuman reads Harb his secret spaghetti recipe

hops

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2013, 09:08:09 am »

Repent. See the light. Realise the awesomeness that is the box.
Go and knock on the Lady of Containers' door and convince her to purchase some fine quality tupperware.




We shall seduce one of her USELESS BOTTLE GNOMES into betraying his or her kin, of course. With an inside (wo)man, our DRAKELING HORDES, cute though they may be, will be able to effortlessly crush her WORTHLESS CREATIONS.

And once her minions' cities lie in ruins, obliterating the rest of her POINTLESS BULLSHIT should be incredibly simple, as there will be no one to stop us save her herself.




You decide that this plan is better. You are not sure as to how you will accomplish that, but you can probably just go down under the disguise of a mortal on Terra, and dick around until you can go with your plan.

You will be...



NAME:
RACE:
AGE:
PROFESSION:
APPEARANCE:
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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freeformschooler

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #10 on: August 06, 2013, 09:11:04 am »

Name: R. Wyatt Realman
Race: "Human"
Age: 22
Profession: Adventurer
Appearance: An oddly draconic-looking man with red armor and a powerful smile.
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TopHat

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2013, 09:24:45 am »

Name: R. Wyatt Realman
Race: "Human"
Age: 22
Profession: Adventurer
Appearance: An oddly draconic-looking man with red armor and a powerful smile.
+1
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

hops

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2013, 04:20:12 am »

R. Wyatt Realman



Meanwhile



You jump off the temple.



You are now moving at terminal velocity towards the DRAKELING FORTRESS. Maybe you can go retrieve your DRAGON WHISKEY from SECRET COMPARTMENT when you get there.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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Parsely

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2013, 04:27:23 am »

Retrieve Dragon Whiskey. Like a God. +1 to the previously suggested human form.

((What do you use for this?))
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Dariush

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Re: ISG: The Wars of Failsword
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2013, 04:34:22 am »

Oh wow this is already awesome. Please make this temporary game go the path of TWoOtA aka stop being temporary.

And +1 to that form.
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