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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 255162 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2055 on: June 14, 2014, 07:03:45 pm »

Dave decides to show these people just who happens to be the boss around here!

"beholD! i am Dave! bow beFore my greaT power or i shall seT your very chimmNies agaiNsT you!" he says in his drunk wobbly maniac voice, and waves his hands around like he is having a seizure, presumably in the hopes of seeming more powerful.

[Dave's affinity roll: 3]

A crack in the ground appears before him, spreading forward, the sound of shuffling paws coming out of it. Not quite the most impressive of shows, but one that definitely would lead an attentive viewer to suspect something is amiss here - evidently, the large underwear creatures do, for one of them shouts back at Dave.

"Ah! Power! Much appreciated!" it says, and immediately lowers the drawbridge, which is a rather inviting affair composed of what seem like bricks overlaid with cotton boxers.

* * * * *

Eta's not entirely sure about this whole business, but realizes that poking her nose further into it is likely to bring nothing but further trouble.

"Oh. Good. Good," she says, wondering if her creepy, yet largely (in more ways than one) harmless stalker might not have just been horribly executed in the backroom somehow. It seems slightly quiet in there. "Okay. See you later!" she says, and, together with Lois, moves out as quickly as possible to maintain plausible deniability. As she leaves, Bart stands there a moment, pondering for a moment why that other lady was going out wearing a bathrobe. Having no clear answer, he shrugs to himself and gets back to the crossword he was working on moments previously, only to be interrupted once again by somebody exiting the backroom. It seems to be the girl and the fat wizard, looking relatively pleased with themselves. And nobody with them.

[Joanie's affinity roll: 1-->2+2]

The girl points at him for a moment, and Bart's unsure what to think, exactly. He looks down to see if there's perhaps a spot on his shirt, but no, there seems to be no such thing.

"What is the problem?" he asks.

"Well, uh, I think there's a bit of an issue in there. You should come take a look," the girl says, setting off a few alarm bells in Bart's mind. The fat man looks rather terrible, he notices. He realizes, suddenly, that something has probably gone horribly wrong. And that he is in no position to be fixing it, in all likelihood. But he is going to have to try. He gets up from his seat, then moves to the door, past the two wizards, looking into the room, and seeing two prone figures on the ground, covered in... something. Oh god. Something has indeed gone horribly wrong, and he has no idea what to do. Unsure of how to proceed, Bart just stands there, utterly stumped.

Unbeknownst to him, however, a great deal is happening behind him. For one, Joanie seems to be very much nervous about this slight snag in her plan, and currently is whispering in THE DUNKER's ear. The nature of the message is simple.

"Quick, do something!"

Of course, none of that is something that particularly bothers Eta and her friend Lois, who had left moments previously. Indeed, for them the more important issue appeared to be the clothing store they have noticed not too far down the street - not only does it seem to have opened only minutes ago, it also happens to be having some kind of blowout sale, probably because of an imminent closing so characteristic of downtown stores, particularly in a developing neighborhood such as this. Though upon taking a look inside, Eta does feel a tad unhappy that a place like this would close - the selection and the decor are rather nice, if she may say so herself, and the staff do seem rather charming, what little she can see of them.

About fifteen or so minutes pass as the two women walk through the store, examining the displays for all manner of garments, from the comfortable to the elegant to the intriguingly sophisticated, all at very affordable prices, but nothing really seems to be catching Lois' eye. Eta wonders why that might be when she suddenly hears a question from Lois.

"So... what are we doing here?"

* * * * *

Myles, feeling brave enough to combat vicious monsters and touch suspicious pillars alike, tries to move toward the highly explosive object the kind police officer told him to stay away from moments previously, but the officer seems less than impressed.

"Seriously, man. Stay away. It might explode, you never know."

Thus discouraged, Myles decides to light a match in protest, or at least for spells and stuff.

[Myles' mind roll: 4+1]

The pink flame proves most distracting as he looks upon it, and soon blackness descends on his mind, the shadow enveloping him only broken by a single table, atop which stands a shot that seems to be both bright pink, similarly to the flame, and glow under its own power as well as slightly glitter and sparkle. Oddly tempted by this clearly evil liquid, Myles decides to try it, only to find that it tastes like what he imagines uranium-235 would do to his tastebuds. Whether by sheer willpower or simple counter-reflex built up through years of gentlemanly whiskey consumption, he manages to get it down, and, for a brief moment, feels like he knows the name of the king.

Spoiler: Myles' Spell Choices (click to show/hide)

When his consciousness returns, however, he retains but a bit of knowledge, and becomes acutely aware of the police officer looking at him in a fairly suspicious manner.

* * * * *

John, quite averse to interfering in other people's business at this point due to the immensely terrible experiences doing so has brought so far, walks away from the park and, after a brief stop at Chow's Chow to get some slightly dripping takeaway and a visit to the liquor store to get some back alley quality scotch, heads on home, not even turning the TV on as he consumes some greasy slop, washing it down with a good dose of booze to help him forget more efficiently.

Unfortunately for John, however, he fails to pass out from drinking a whole bottle of scotch, though whether it's more due to his physical qualities, his willpower, the adulterants present in the scotch, the speed of his drinking or some heretofore undiscovered booze-absorbing quality of Chow's chow, he doesn't rightly know. What he does know is that he's absolutely smashed right now, and quite disappointed, lonely and more than a little depressed. Exactly the sort of mood one tended to phone up ex-girlfriends in, or watch late night infomercials - trouble is, it is currently the early afternoon, and he isn't sure he has any ex-girlfriends whose numbers he remembers or has written down.
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2056 on: June 14, 2014, 07:59:51 pm »

Larry was a tad flummoxed at all this.  He really had no business with the demon, what with supposedly being on the angelic side in all this, yet couldn't help looking on in fascination.  If heaven really lived up to its name, then it'd probably be a good thing to just walk in, find a nice place, and settle in for a happy eternity, but he wasn't sure that they wouldn't just kick him out.

He couldn't really go call the guards, because that'd get his pal Halesey in trouble, regardless of how weird he was acting.  Another rare moment of restraint gripped him; probably because he was extremely far out of his element.



Observe; were there pearly gates or a gateway to above or something around?  Did the souls look all that happy, ignoring the demon smashing things?
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2057 on: June 14, 2014, 08:05:26 pm »

ONWARD!

Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2058 on: June 14, 2014, 09:18:06 pm »

"I thought you'd like to try out some clothes, seeing as you don't have many. Seen anything you like?"
I've got to at least make an effort to get her out of that bathrobe. If she really wants to wear it, then that's fine, that's her choice, I won't try to force anything on her. But I have to give her that choice first.

((A guy blankly staring at a lit match for about a minute while standing near a highly explosive pillar. Totally not suspicious.))

Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2059 on: June 15, 2014, 12:09:04 am »

[DUNKER subtlety roll: 1]

Okay then.
PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUNDEEEEEEERRRRR!

DUNKER whips his combover about most rebelliously as he casts Electric Watermelon Storm in he guy's general direction.

((I actually rolled for this because I couldn't decide between this and something reasonable. This'll be fun.))
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2060 on: June 15, 2014, 06:39:55 am »

"God damnit. Damn my well trained liver, this is getting me nowhere. Luz was right...looks like I even fucked up drinking myself into a coma."

John gets up and walks over to his couch, and turns on the TV. he switches to a news channel.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2061 on: June 16, 2014, 05:12:58 am »

”Er. Mr Reuben? Dammit. I just wanted a blething, really.”

Halesey strode purposefully but hopefully non-violently after the demon, scattering apologies as he went, and hopefully no limbs or blood.

”Thorry… thorry! Ethcuthe me! Thorry… Ooopth…”

Catch up with the demon, but try not to get aggressive – presumably after the cocaine wears off he might be lucid enough to ask what I might be able to do for a blessing.

”So, er… Can I help you with anything?”

Cast a potato vortex a few dozen feet away in a not too destructive manner to show him my good will!

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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2062 on: June 16, 2014, 03:01:13 pm »

Larry was finding this whole heaven thing kind of suspicious. For one, he doesn't see any pearly gates around, which kind of robs the place of a lot of its legitimacy - in fact, this is, as previously observed, pretty much the Moon, except with a bunch of marble temples in the distance. And what's more, the people here don't look terribly happy, either, much like you'd imagine people stuck on the Moon to be. Possibly because a lot of them are hopping away in terror from a clown very much intent and also quite shockingly able to destroy pretty much anything in his path. All in all, this is a very dull-looking heaven. And the dust feels very unpleasant to inhale, too!

Halesey, meanwhile, seems to be trying to be a little more proactive, since he's the one with the real important objectives around here.

"Er. Mr. Reuben? Dammit. I just wanted a blething, really," he says, his facial villi almost entirely receded by now, though he seems to have been lisping along with Larry mostly for solidarity's sake. He attempts to stride after Reuben, but immediately realizes that a kangaroo hop is both much more efficient and more fun at .16 G. The escaping souls of the dead seem to be doing the same thing, and they're natives, so Halesey feels entirely respectful to their suffering as he does this, too!

"Thorry… thorry! Ethcuthe me! Thorry… Ooopth…" he keeps saying as he leaps over, under and along the sides of various crippled fellows and fellowettes. Eventually he catches up to Reuben and, as he follows, asks the demon a question.

"So, er… Can I help you with anything?" he asks while summoning an immense vortex of potatoes nearby, one that many poor fleeing souls are immediately sucked into, no less. Reuben seems strangely unaffected in its proximity and, upon noticing the disappearance of many souls within it, begins to chuckle again.

"More vortices! Eat all those inconsistent fellows! They're not supposed to be in heaven, anyway! They couldn't even keep a vow!"

* * * * *

Dave, filled with joy at this respect people are granting him apropos of little, heads on over the drawbridge into the fortress - the inside of it is just as dark as the outside, and the underwear people look even larger in here! The courtyard is quite abuzz with activity, with underwear creatures selling their fellows... more underwear? Dave isn't sure how this economy works, honestly, so he probably can't judge accurately.

A particular underwear creature, huger than the rest and its body covered in black plates, seems to currently be looming over Dave.

"Hello. I hear you can make things happen with your mind," it says in a friendly manner.

* * * * *

Eta decides to clarify her and Lois' purpose here, since that seems to be unclear to her friend presently.

"I thought you'd like to try out some clothes, seeing as you don't have many. Seen anything you like?"

"Not really. Can we go do something else? This is kind of boring," Lois says, casting a glance around the store. "There's nothing moving here. Just... stuff."

* * * * *

THE DUNKER, not having earned his capitalization for nothing, acts upon Joanie's instruction immediately.

"Okay then," he says, whipping his combover in about as manful and arrogantly respectable manner as he can manage."PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUNDEEEEEEERRRRR!" he then says, unleashing a catchphrase to split the very skies in half!

[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 1-->1+1]

A catchphrase immediately followed by a crackling watermelon smashing into the back of his head, unleashing a powerful electric shock as it smashes into little red pieces! This is followed by several more watermelons flying at both him and Joanie from behind!

[THE DUNKER's body roll: 2-1]
[Joanie's body roll: 1-->4+1]

Not that this concerns either the man or Joanie in any way, as the first watermelon that hits either of them sends them both sprawling on the ground at Bart's feet - Bart, quite surprised, retreats into the backroom, and seems unsure on where to point a gun and what to do about the two bodies of uncertain deadness in the backroom and the two very much magical bodies of unclear intentions and/or hostility. Nothing makes sense to him right now, really.

* * * * *

John isn't sure how a bottle of scotch didn't make him pass out for at least a day, or possibly even for longer, but he is damn sure he's not going to buy anymore right now, at least partly because he's not sure he can find his way out of his apartment in this state. So he just turns on the TV and lets it run freely, switching to some news.

It's not really anything too interesting - just the regular sort of thing one would expect in times like these. A portal to another world in a bathroom in a downtown pub. Pictures of gold on the streets. Unconfirmed reports of odd activity in Greenblatt Park. That sort of thing. It's a bit hard to focus on the news with how John is right now. He's not exactly passing out, it's just that the words seem to go by... real fast, he thinks. A bit too fast. And the screen's kind of swimming a bit.
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2063 on: June 16, 2014, 03:06:03 pm »

Ehehe. Whoops, let me try again.
*ahem*
PREPARE TO FEEL THE THUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNDDDDEEEEERRRRRRR!


Electric Watermelon Storm once more!
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2064 on: June 16, 2014, 03:09:24 pm »

"Oh bugger me, everything's going to shit. Who the hell starts trouble in a park? That's just silly. I know, maybe some light reading will help my head from hurting so much! Or maybe I should call someone and shout at them over the phone...hmmmm...."

John calls a random number in his cellphone

"Hi, this is John, why did you call me?"
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darkpaladin109

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2065 on: June 16, 2014, 03:12:05 pm »

I shall call upon the powers of....Circle of Overflowing Blankets!
Go somewhere where no-one can see me and cast my new spell.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2066 on: June 16, 2014, 03:15:16 pm »

"Oh bugger me, everything's going to shit. Who the hell starts trouble in a park? That's just silly. I know, maybe some light reading will help my head from hurting so much! Or maybe I should call someone and shout at them over the phone...hmmmm...."

John calls a random number in his cellphone

"Hi, this is John, why did you call me?"

"Whuh?" a pretty dull-sounding man's voice comes up on the other end.
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2067 on: June 16, 2014, 03:24:00 pm »

Larry checked his own face to see if it was calming down like Halesey's.  Hmm.

Check face.  See if the hand where the blessing went in is reacting to this place in any way.  Can he talk to anything through it?
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2068 on: June 16, 2014, 03:27:27 pm »

"yeah, you've reached John. Why did you call me? Who is this, even?"
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Caution Meets Wind, Adventure Ensues
« Reply #2069 on: June 16, 2014, 04:46:46 pm »

"Yeah. I'm Dave I accidentally created the world and was temporarily worshiped as god or something. What's up with you?"
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