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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 248886 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2730 on: August 27, 2014, 08:17:23 am »

”Erm, yes, that’s all for now – the Potato God has chosen you, so that’s nice. Would you describe yourself as filthy and disorderly? Just wondering, won’t affect your chosenness. So – you want to come back to Earth and find the other two apprentices now, and then go see the Potato God, or do you want to try and learn some spells first? Oh yes, what’s your name?”

"Cadwallader, and I think I'll just go off and do my own thing. You don't seem like you'd be any help."
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2731 on: August 27, 2014, 09:46:49 am »

”Hohoho! I like the cut of your jib, Cadwallader.”

Halesey did like the cut of this wandering wastrel’s jib, but he had a Holy Mission to fulfil, and was not afraid of extreme violence. His voice took on the full breadth and depth of the Potato, and continued, booming forth:

”However, God has instructed me to bring those that the Potatoes choose to Him. Yon Potato chose you; I have seen the power of God, and I would rather die than disappoint His Power. Cast aside your Fear, Cadwallader: visit God with me, and I shall let you be on your way. What say you?”
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2732 on: August 27, 2014, 09:56:24 am »

”Hohoho! I like the cut of your jib, Cadwallader.”

Halesey did like the cut of this wandering wastrel’s jib, but he had a Holy Mission to fulfil, and was not afraid of extreme violence. His voice took on the full breadth and depth of the Potato, and continued, booming forth:

”However, God has instructed me to bring those that the Potatoes choose to Him. Yon Potato chose you; I have seen the power of God, and I would rather die than disappoint His Power. Cast aside your Fear, Cadwallader: visit God with me, and I shall let you be on your way. What say you?”

"How about I visit God without you? And you just go out the potato hole?"
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2733 on: August 28, 2014, 02:00:47 am »

”Or, you know, how about you just stop being such a dongferret, dillweed? How exactly do you think you’re gonna find God, carrying on staring at the side of the vortex like it’s a stinking filthy navel?”

Cast Hairy Mafiosi Barrier! Then, in a fit of pique, cast Potato Vortex once in each of the Eight Cardinal and Ordinal Holy Potato Directions whilst swivelling on my heals and at a distance of 20 feet from me!

Whilst casting, cry thus amongst the maelstrom!


”Why don’t you just fucking well do as you’re told, Nigel?”
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2734 on: August 28, 2014, 05:15:51 pm »

Larry, after expediently going through his morning routine in the name of speeding business, decides to seek out Green Pancake Guy without further ado. He heads downtown, reaching the W7000 with haste, making his way past the depressing robot, up to the third floor with the elevator, and then to the Executive Suite, where he knocks on the door.

Minutes pass. The door does not open.

* * * * *

Dave, not sure he can make lightning strike twice, but sure as hell eager to try. He starts picturing each one of his spells, putting them together in his mind as he considers the possibility of casting them at once.

Storms of underwear of the distracting sort, vortexes filled with dentures, or perhaps gates to reality, all interwoven with thoughts of hookers and enchanted ghosts of angels. Earthy barriers of smut and rivers of thylacines, the Undulating Porcelain Gremlin Kings invading and claiming dominion over the creatures that dwell on the moon in question, and literally everything in between as the elements lock in with each other in three-dimensional space. Everything begins to fit together in Dave's mind, a unified picture starting to form as he considers the format of the next casting of his spell. This is going to be a fun one, he suspects, unless he fucks it up along the way in some critical manner. Reality is about to get a wonderful little dose of Dave, this is becoming increasingly clear.

* * * * *

It is indeed fortuitous that these wizards of ill repute have found an acquaintance in THE DUNKER, for one such as he is nothing if not incredibly distracting. A single magical finger pointed, a single mighty beard imagined, his thoughts composed and the magic flowing, he tries to bring forth the grim power of the house of self-replicating dentures!

[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 6-->6+1]

And as the ground near the police begins to vibrate, they seem to be a tad disturbed. Eta, sensing that what's about to happen could turn out in virtually any way, steps away from her position nervously as she considers the probability of a pit suddenly appearing beneath her feet again. It is probably higher than she thinks, she concludes, keeping herself on the move just in case, if only to assuage her instinct of flight.

The asphalt coating the road breaks, and teeth begin to emerge. Large, impressive teeth, ones that you would be unashamed to put in your mouth if not for the fact that they were also quite impressively coated in dirt and sewage. The leading sets of teeth, seemingly clumped together in a spire, break through the ground, widening at the base until reaching a certain point. At this exact same time, the asphalt in five points that are regularly spaced around the central spire, the closest but five meters away from the wizard himself, breaks as well, producing yet more spires. The group, THE DUNKER excepted, all back away as his creation takes shape, revealing itself like an immense, alien batholith pushed up from the bowels of the earth by forces unknown. The spires push away the surrounding ruins, or worse, swallow them entirely as they rise upward. The spires are strange affairs - their roofs are shingled with teeth, the walls look like fleshy gums, the windows along the walls like open, false mouths, horizontal for the central spire, but vertical and slit-like for the outer ones, looking very sinister as they rise from the earth.

And then the pavement cracks once more in many places - the central spire widens to become a larger building, while the outer spires are evidently connected by an outer wall. Its upper part, which appears to be made entirely of large incisors, parts the asphalt as well. The house, or rather fortress of dentures rises further, revealing its front gate - a closed mouth with teeth that are longer than any the observers present have ever seen. As the base of the fortress rises about three meters above the rest of the landscape, the terrain all around it collapsing downward, creating a moat of sorts. At the front, right next to the gate, a drawbridge formed of a single prosthetic lower denture has taken shape, and as the castle finalizes its formation, it lowers itself elegantly before THE DUNKER, the gates it has hidden thus far also opening in a similar fashion.

The police are nowhere to be seen, and the castle currently is about the size of a city block, looming over the entire surrounding landscape rather threateningly with its faux-organic looks and massive construction.

"That's beautiful," says Hungry Pete from right behind Eta, scaring the living bejesus out of her with his sudden appearance.

* * * * *

Halesey, reacting rather violently to Cadwallader's continual insistence on going on his own way, begins to cast his go-to spell as he rants.

"Or, you know, how about you just stop being such a dongferret, dillweed? How exactly do you think you’re gonna find God, carrying on staring at the side of the vortex like it’s a stinking filthy navel?"

[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->2]

In his rage, however, something goes wrong! Terribly wrong! A mafioso appears, he believes. But not where one could expect. He appears right in front of Halesey, somewhat blocking his view of Cadwallader. The hairy, large fellow seems to be asking a question of Halesey.

"Have you been payin' your dues lately?"

[Cadwallader's affinity roll: 1-->2+1]

Cadwallader, meanwhile, seems to be working on magic of his own.

"Huh," seems to be the only result Halesey can detect. It is a semi-disappointed, though still mainly apathetic "Huh".
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2735 on: August 28, 2014, 05:28:20 pm »

Expand the puzzle into the fourth dimension using their shadows as a guide.

Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2736 on: August 28, 2014, 05:54:56 pm »

"Gwah!"
Eta instinctively jumps away.
"Don't sneak up on me like that! I've had meteors pass through my apartment that surprised me less!" she angrily protested.
That man needs a lesson in the concept of personal space.
She turned to look at the fortress.
And that man needs a lesson in responsibility. Scratch that, everybody here probably needs a lesson in that.
"That's one way to do it, I guess. Loudly. And scarily. Into the belly of the beast?"
She made a gesture towards the door.

Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2737 on: August 28, 2014, 05:56:12 pm »

We're not going into the castle, that was a diversion.
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2738 on: August 28, 2014, 06:04:51 pm »

((Am I misunderstanding things? Didn't the castle appear in the middle of the street we wanted to go through?))

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2739 on: August 28, 2014, 09:15:43 pm »

Larry bangs on the door once more in frustration.  Patience was not his strong point.

...

...

Fuck it.  He'd just leave a note.  He heads down to the lobby and looks for a pen and paper to slide his cell number under the door.
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2740 on: August 28, 2014, 09:51:12 pm »

((Am I misunderstanding things? Didn't the castle appear in the middle of the street we wanted to go through?))
((Huh. I'm tired, so I think I misread. Have Eta make a comment about the DUNKER's weight being too much to squeeze past or something?))
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2741 on: August 29, 2014, 06:07:07 am »

We're not going into the castle, that was a diversion.
"I don't think we could go around it. Let me check."
See if there is a way around the castle to... "Wait, where are we going, again?"
to wherever it is we're going.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2742 on: August 29, 2014, 06:21:27 am »

"Gwah!"
Eta instinctively jumps away.
"Don't sneak up on me like that! I've had meteors pass through my apartment that surprised me less!" she angrily protested.

"My apologies! I sometimes get carried away when stalking people," Hungry Pete replies. "With luck, it won't happen next time."

We're not going into the castle, that was a diversion.
"I don't think we could go around it. Let me check."
See if there is a way around the castle to... "Wait, where are we going, again?"
to wherever it is we're going.

Fortunately, the empty moat surrounding the castle seems almost perfect as a detour - it's going to be a little bit of a climb to get out, but really that's less than bothersome by this point.

"We're going to the ruined neighborhood behind this awesome castle! For investigative purposes, see. Then maybe we can crash in the castle itself later, if we feel like it. Or maybe make ourselves a new castle! Limitless options here, really."

"Uh, how are we going to get out of here? I'm not really seeing any way this area won't be swarmed by police and other people soon."

"We'll figure that out when it comes to that!"

"Worst case scenario, we need to take a detour through denture central."

"That's... not a normal thing to happen, is it?" Ivette asks after a period of silence on her part.
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2743 on: August 29, 2014, 06:40:01 am »

"Oh, OK. Turns out we can go around it. Worst case scenario, someone summons something for us to climb."
"That's... not a normal thing to happen, is it?" Ivette asks after a period of silence on her part.
"Which one? Creating a denture castle or using a denture detour?"

Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 29, 2014, 06:41:50 am by Parisbre56 »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2744 on: August 29, 2014, 06:42:06 am »

"Oh, OK. Turns out we can go around it. Worst case scenario, someone summons something for us to climb."
"That's... not a normal thing to happen, is it?" Ivette asks after a period of silence on her part.
"Which one? Creating a denture castle or using a denture detour?"

"More the castle, I guess. I mean, it looks totally awesome and all, but it's not a regular thing that all of you can do without effort, right?"
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