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Author Topic: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?  (Read 5848 times)

monk12

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Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« on: October 17, 2013, 01:32:58 pm »


Updates Intermittently


So a few months ago, a friend of mine started talking about the webcomic he wanted to create, and he asked if I would be interested in doing the writing. Pretty soon we had a zany Judge Dredd meets A Bugs Life conspiracy Noir "dakka dakka" action thriller thing planned out, ideas were bounced around, concept sketches were made, and now I'm the writer for a webcomic that exists somewhere other than my own head.

But yeah, if you like stories about bugs with guns, grim dystopias, convoluted conspiracies, and reasonably frequent explsions, you might want to check it out. The first page is here, and we're shooting for Friday updates. The first page also has our first explosion, so it can't be all bad, right?

Comments, Criticisms, Suggestions welcome and appreciated!
« Last Edit: December 08, 2013, 02:13:40 am by monk12 »
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freeformschooler

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2013, 01:39:19 pm »

Larger text or a better font, man! I'm digging the start but squinting to read the writing :P
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IronyOwl

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2013, 01:58:27 pm »

I'm with ffs. Nice start, but the font's a bit small.

Definitely very noirly classic, by the way. Explain nice parts, explain not nice parts, mention really not nice parts, mention caveat, cue explosion.

Looking forward to seeing our caveats. :3
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monk12

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2013, 08:40:31 pm »

Larger text or a better font, man! I'm digging the start but squinting to read the writing :P

I've heard this from several sources so far, but sadly, none of the responses read "What is this, a font for ants?" Come on people, I'm just lobbing these over the plate.

But yes, legibility is something we will work on :P

Lectorog

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2013, 09:33:59 pm »

yes plz i like

I don't have a problem with legibility as it stands. But a change wouldn't hurt.

I like the tone.
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Lovechild

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2013, 02:22:50 pm »

Nice explosion.
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monk12

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2013, 07:14:14 pm »

Page 2 is up! Should hopefully be readable now. It's definitely also fatter now (for no particular reason AFAIK,) so hopefully that doesn't screw things up for anyone. As always, comments/suggestions/criticisms on everything from content to format are welcome and appreciated! Especially format, we're still figuring out what's best there, oh god what the hell are we doing

freeformschooler

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2013, 08:43:02 pm »

Squish it to the center? All that information could be presented in a less-wide format, and tall > wide. For example: making the Narration Bubbles about the the width of two panels and placing the third panel below the first two would cut that comic's width by a whole third!

Still loving it otherwise.
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eerr

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2013, 06:25:23 am »

The main character's silhouette is unrecognizable.
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IronyOwl

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2013, 03:36:27 pm »

I've heard this from several sources so far, but sadly, none of the responses read "What is this, a font for ants?" Come on people, I'm just lobbing these over the plate.
I have brought shame upon myself and my family.

Next page is less actiony than I was expecting, but still interesting.
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The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

eerr

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2013, 03:37:45 pm »

Dunno what I was thinking.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2013, 05:56:15 pm by eerr »
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Akhier the Dragon hearted

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2013, 03:50:31 pm »

Good stuff so far. Will follow for sure.
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Xantalos

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2013, 04:02:36 pm »

Following.
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GlyphGryph

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2013, 04:20:13 pm »

Visuals... so bad... having trouble... caring about interesting words...

I mean, I've read some comics with pretty bad art, and the art here isn't terrible - it's mediocre, but not terrible. But the actual design is too painful for me to read - the layout, the visual pacing, is just really bad. And the speech bubbles are outright painful. (At least it doesn't have any directional flow problems.... yet)

Sorry, but as much as I love your stuff I don't think I'll be following this. :/
« Last Edit: October 21, 2013, 04:22:44 pm by GlyphGryph »
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stabbymcstabstab

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Re: Plan Bee: monk12 has a webcomic now?
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2013, 08:41:51 pm »

Same as with Glyph, but I'm half blind so every thing looks burrly. :)
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