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It was inevitable

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Winners don't do drugs

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I'll be back

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Drink the Kool Aid

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Groovy

3 (8.8%)

Insane in the membrane

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Total Members Voted: 34

[Xantalos]

Campaign

Everyone, I think we know what we must do.

Summon cool sunglasses and put them on.
Also totally look at the procedure, it's not like it'll mentally scar me or anything.

Before I do that, generously give Nikolai a crutch in his general direction. Or a walking cane if I can't do crutches.

Also a pair of sunglasses for my good friend Ike.

[Alarith]

Survival
"Anyone have a plan? The best I've got is to just sit tight."

[Coolrune206]

Wait until the rats are nearly upon me, then use all my biomass to swell in size, transforming into a cat. When they hit me, rip into them, devouring as many as I can. If I am injured, use my biomass to heal my wounds at the same time.

[Harry Baldman]

Campaign, Ike!

"How terribly fascinating, I must say. Anyway, guys, the coast is clear."

Spoiler: IkeNotes (click to show/hide)

There's doors that respond to touch and behave like funny glass bubbles. Behind the one to the left is what can best be described as a dark spider singularity. It seems to mean us harm, which is further evidence of its spidery nature. It has already given Jesus a fire and shockwave-based makeover. Also, the shadows vibrate and absorb sound at the same time.

Jesus smells okay, in other news.

River increasingly reminds me of Ted.

Yellow land octopuses are apparently present and possibly quite dangerous!

Update: yellow land octopuses aren't so bad when you stab them in the center of mass repeatedly and firmly!

The room on the right has a set of four large eggs, surrounded by eight sizable benches and eight not-so-large eggs.

Clearly whoever built this place has a strange fascination with the number four, or multiples of four. This either completely rules out or utterly confirms the involvement of the Nipponese.

I am starting to get slight flashbacks to the start of the previous mission!

Yellow land octopuses can become invisible! Or maybe there's a breed or species of invisible land octopus! May require some breeding to get a clearer picture of their relation. Still yellow on the inside, though! In addition, they appear capable of making mortal mindslaves without any trouble at all.

In addition, people live here. Or humanoids, at least. They seem to have been subjugated by the yellow land octopuses, or octopodes. One's a nice red and purple lady, and the other one's dead as a doorknob.

Also:

Well, the creatures' anatomy is the same. Just a small central part filled with organs with a large number of very thin and long but surprisingly strong tentacles sprouting out of it.

Slicing a tentacle in half, I discover that they lack muscles, which kinda begs the question of how they managed to move them in the first place. Instead, they are composed of four tubes (two large and two small) arrayed around a central part that feels and looks like very flexible cartilage. Around those tubes are very small, almost invisible clusters of black things, (some sort of organ, probably) that correspond with very small dimples on the outside. Maybe they emit something from there? Or maybe it's some sort of sensory organ? Or maybe it's used for camouflage? Or communication? Who knows. The area between the tubes and the skin of the creature feels very mushy and soft, breaking apart easily.

With careful observation, you notice that when the tendril twists, a large number of very small spikes are pushed out of its skin on the inside of the curve. You can't discern whether this is meant to inject something like microneedles or if it is just a means to grapple things and achieve better friction.
A quick inspection of the place the creature wrapped its tendrils around my arm reveals very tiny yellow needle-like things stuck in my skin, although none of them have managed to penetrate it.
An inspection of Nikolai reveals something similar. The fact that his skin has become more red around that area and has started to bruise prevented me from noticing it with casual observation, but he appears to have very tiny holes around the places the creature wrapped its tentacles around him, some of them bleeding slightly. Hopefully he won't start turning into any sort of octoman.

After that, I move to the central part of the creature. A thing of note is that it lacks any sort of visible mouth, eyes, nose, means of excretion or any of the other things I'd expect the central part of a creature to possess.

A large section of the central part of the creature is composed of two sacks, one larger, containing that yellow goo (or white with a whitish tint in the case of the later ones) and the other containing a black substance. Each of them is connected to the tubes that compose the greater part of the creature's tendrils, the black with the smaller ones and the brighter one with the larger one. The rest of their insides are filled with organs, although I can't tell exactly what they do. They have some connections between them, but they don't reveal much. Curiously, while I can identify many organs connected to the bright tubes, none of them are (visibly) connected to the dark ones.

Their insides don't smell so good, especially the ones of the creatures I encountered earlier. Smell like rotten and oil. Now that I think about it, the earlier creatures looked far worse than the later ones. The later ones were more of a whitish yellow than pure yellow, they were slightly larger and their internal organs were in much better shape.

Gee whiz!

Listen to what Darkstar's doing over there, but don't look. It probably looks really ugly.

[NAV]

Nikolai, Campaign

Bash the breastplate with rocks until it is wearable. Put it on under my coat and secure it with duct tape. Put some spare tape in my bag.

This is a bad idea. It's too dangerous.
"Alan, can you please summon a crutch for me."
Try to not die.

[Xantalos]

Hwy certainly, good chap!

Edited!

[Parisbre56]

Campaign

Also totally look at the procedure, it's not like it'll mentally scar me or anything.

You walk around the pillar until you can see Darkstar holding the woman from the neck against the pillar with one hand while removing her clothes with the other. His ear turns towards you, followed by his head. He looks at you and does something between a sigh and a faint growl.
"You should not do that. It will be bad.  You will-"
He shakes his head a bit.
"I can not do it with you watching. Go away or I will have to do something else." he continues a bit more angrily.
Man, that guy is very private about his naked corpses. Maybe you could agree to move away but secretly pop up while he is doing his nefarious deeds?

[Xantalos]

Hey fine man, if you can't perform electricity transplants with an audience I understand. Not everyone's as great a surgeon as myself.

Stroll away and go bother someone else. That Ike guy, maybe.

Say Ike! What were we doing here again?

[Harry Baldman]

Say Ike! What were we doing here again?

"Fuck if I know, good buddy. Emperor Darkstar isn't exactly in the business of telling us anything helpful, as you may have noticed. I'm mostly just looking for adventure and trying to pass the time until our good friend gets his bearings and our quest can get underway. Also murdering octopuses left and right."

"So far no valuable clues aside from magical fuckery and yellow land octopus zombifications being at work have presented themselves. The side rooms seem to be there to confuse and bewilder us, as well as blow up inexplicably, while outside looks like it'll not be fun to explore."

[Xantalos]

Hmm. Want a pair of sunglasses?

[Harry Baldman]

"I surely do! Even though it's dark outside!"

[Xantalos]

Wearing them so they impede vision just means you're hip!


Sunglasses!

[Lenglon]

I remain out of sight, but speak up.
"Um, River? You wanted us to keep you informed of what we're doing, right? Communication goes two ways. What's going on and what are you doing?"

[Parisbre56]

I remain out of sight, but speak up.
"Um, River? You wanted us to keep you informed of what we're doing, right? Communication goes two ways. What's going on and what are you doing?"

"Oh!“ he exclaims, as if you reminded him something he had forgotten.
He begins speaking more quickly, clearly very interested in the woman and her situation. Yet he doesn't display the same level of interest when talking about the place you are currently in and the creatures inhabiting it.
"I repaired the teleporter. But when I made a final check for enemies, I found a portal nearby. Most likely the one she used to get here. Although I do not know why anyone would come to a Relay world. The Outsider probably influenced them to come here as a response to our probing, but I would like to know the reason they had. Nor do I know where the portal leads. I am going to devour her. Hoping to learn more, if the parasites didn't destroy it all. More about why she is here, where the portal leads and her world in general. When I know, I will tell you and we can decide if it is better to go through the portal or use the teleporter. Because there are many Parasites near the portal. Predators too."

"But if it leads to somewhere close to our target's last location it might be better. Because with the damage to the teleporter and without S0 to help me with the numbers, there will be some... drift."
He sounds very annoyed when he says those last two sentences.

((EDIT: Fixed colours because writing from phone without my notes.))

[Xantalos]

((This means that he's probably gonna end up drugging himself with the magical painkillers Alan stuffed down her throat, isn't it?))