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Patience, young Padawan

24 (9.5%)

Bribe lazy owls

28 (11.1%)

Prod lazy owls

25 (9.9%)

Beat lazy owls

25 (9.9%)

Savagely beat lazy owls

33 (13.1%)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

66 (26.2%)

Abandon thread

18 (7.1%)

Get our own LP, with blackjack and hookers!

33 (13.1%)

Total Members Voted: 84

[Iituem]

Fuck no!  -1 to that, we will defend that piece of territory to the last drop of peasant blood!  Can't give away pieces of land without any legal reason, otherwise bloody Sedna and whoever else will come begging for a piece of tasty Nova.  It's head-taking time.

[Sheb]

Just pay up the money. We failed the test and think it's too much, so it's obviously a tiny amount of cash!

[Empiricist]

Loop indefinitely until they give up. We shall torment that insolent fool for all eternity with our indecisive repetition.

[FArgHalfnr]

Loop indefinitely until they give up. We shall torment that insolent fool for all eternity with our indecisive repetition.

+1! Much better then my previous suggestion!

[fillipk]

WARRRRRRRRR

((Otherwise known as Execute Him))

[IronyOwl]

Week 10 Continuation Continuing: Looping Loops of Looping Loops of...


THE STORY UP UNTIL NOW...

Spoiler: PART ONE (click to show/hide)

: Now this is a story all a-

: No. Absolutely not.

: Awww.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the princess of a place called Nova

In west Caloris born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
She got in one little fight and now Mom's not there
And now I'm movin' with with father to the capital of Nova

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Nova!'

I pulled up to the castle about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Crown Princess of Nova


I imagine that would have been a bit better if it rhymed. Test: Voice->Failed

This is OUR house now!

Spoiler: PART TWO (click to show/hide)

When you see a snake, always act like a mouse!


Gopher? Was it act like a gopher?


Just like Charlotte, stealing all our kisses.


That's not what gophers do at all!

MUST

CRUSH

NEEEEEEEEERDS

We do now!


Too late called him.


Yaaaaaaaaaay!


Damn right it will!

Spoiler: PART THREE (click to show/hide)

Two people enter. One person with a sparkly leaves.


Don't suppose the sparkly we're wearing right now counts...?


But now she's frightened of performing in front of all of those people and she didn't get a chance to practice and...!

...if it can't support your weight I don't think it qualifies as a tree.


Or you could just go over the hedge like they did...?


Bah.

Spoiler: PART FOUR (click to show/hide)

Chillodie ain't got time for that.

This was considerably more formal than I was expecting.


Oops.


"The Adventures of Chillodie" in every household, you say?


To be fair, this guy's pitch sucks.


She looks downright happy to have found a solution!


!!!!!!

BEST UPDATE EVER!

Spoiler: PART FIVE (click to show/hide)

: WHY. WON'T. WEAPONS. WORK.



: Beating ghosts to death with your bare hands takes FOREVER.

"I think a foreign power is occupying our territory, or something? I never really got the details."


Unless...



What's our diplomacy ag-


Not again!


Is this a noble thing? This is a noble thing, isn't it?


Haha so this one time I was queen of the entire kingdom and I accidentally married some foreigner. Oops!


You'd think this is the kind of thing they'd teach you in Queen School, but-


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Speaking of which, poll results are in!

38 Leading by funky example
37 Complete the ritual, rule on as a breathless Lich Queen. All problems solved forever!
27 Executing everyone who can't dance
27 Declaring war on squares
27 Building ourselves a trusted crew
27 SCIENCE AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THOSE FOOLS LAUGHED AT ME AAHAHAHAHA!
25 Screw it, just burn it all
25 Abdicate, retreat to tropical beach. All problems solved forever!
25 TO THE CALIGULAMOBILE!
24 Leading by drunken example
21 Leading by lecherous example
18 Diplomatic... things, so ruinous you're not even sure she didn't plan this
17 Science!
14 Diplomatic success
13 Economic development
11 Economic ruin
6 Diplomatic ruin
3 Diplomatic failure


So there's an overwhelming consensus to rule on as a funky lich queen. There's a fair stream of agreement to... well, to clean up the kingdom, as it were, along with various other maniacal villain housekeeping-focused monarch tendencies.

Long story short, we're the funkiest Disney villain.

Spoiler: PART SIX (click to show/hide)

Me too!


That wasn't quite what I had in mind...


This might be easier if I had any idea what anyone was talking about.


(That's Foreign Intelligence hiding back there)

Okay, so no Unicorns Solve Everything option, though I guess we might not want to be that bloody a queen anyway.

What are we gonna do instead?

I have no idea.


Naturally, neither does she and we have no advisors. TIME TO GUESS!


Aw, can't we haggle?

The answer is probably no, we can't.

Words of wisdom for our reign in general, really.


Well now we have to decide what to do instead.

Spoiler: PART SEVEN (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: PART EIGHT (click to show/hide)

Infinite Loop (1 / 0)
Execute 2
Bluff/Intimidate 2
Give 2

: I'll give you some money if-

: I FUCKING DARE YOU

: Haha maybe I need a new plan.

[IronyOwl]

Fun fact: Originally this was going to be titled Decap Episode, because I thought execution was winning.

Anyway, ancient poll results are in:

48 ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
21 Savagely beat lazy owls
21 Get our own LP, with blackjack and hookers!
19 Bribe lazy owls
17 Beat lazy owls
16 Prod lazy owls
13 Patience, young Padawan
12 Abandon thread

48/57 voters agree: When in doubt, ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ   ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ   ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

New poll up whenever I figure out something amusing to poll about.

[Elephant Parade]

Anyone who would argue with a monarch deserves to be executed.

[RAM]

Where is the break-dance/rap battle option?

Whatever...

Agree
We are too chill to sweat the little stuff, that is what the squares are for...

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Start a RIOT by executing him.

[fillipk]

WARRRRRRRRR

((Otherwise known as Execute Him))

[NullForceOmega]

Kill the uppity jerk, he has interfered with our chillness for the last time.

[Empiricist]

Run Execution.exe

[Furtuka]

48/57 voters agree: When in doubt, ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ   ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ   ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

[IronyOwl]

Week 10 Terminated: Greetings From Nova

Execute 5
Agree 1







Has Chillodie seemed less chill to you guys lately? Not sure what it is.




Thus concludes our time loop with the traditional political gift of a head in a box.