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Author Topic: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water  (Read 12833 times)

MDFification

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2014, 06:56:44 am »

On Island embarks I always have the miners dig down to the first cavern before doing anything else, because obviously they tunneled up from there.  However a huge catapult or maybe "minecart assisted takeoff" would be just as feasable.

    "Tuck and Roll, Damn you!  Tuck and roll!"
Whenever I think about how an embark goes, I assume it ends with the cart being damaged beyond use, seeing as how the dwarves never move it from the spot you embark into

I personally always assumed that a Roc attempted to scoop up the wagon like an eagle would with a rat, realized it was made of wood, and dropped it at a random spot to it's death. And thusly, all embarks happened.
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Mr.Mountain

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2014, 08:52:43 pm »

I'm surprised no one had asked to have a dwarf named after them yet
it would be nice if you could salvage this though
"ugh, I had a horrible dream that our embark wagon was flung into an island, and all of us fell to Nil's axe once she was told we had no booze left... wait... are we in the air?"
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Vivienne Greatly Disapproves

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #17 on: January 28, 2014, 02:52:49 pm »

you know what, no, I'm not just going to let this axe-wielding psychopath destroy my entire fortress, EVERYONE! READY FOR BATTLE!
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We may be in trouble, but this is MY fortress!
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Ow, that leg is probably going to need stitches...
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YES! DIE NIL! That recruit just earned an honorary hero award from me, who is this hero?
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Erith Asobgutid? Why does that name sound familiar?
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Well isn't that just my luck, she's our other woodcutter and she's gone insane too... From now on, we're not cutting anymore wood, it's apparently one of the most mentally traumatizing tasks in this fortress...
At least we still have enough sane (relatively speaking, of course) dwarves left to hopefully recover
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now we just have to survive until those flying goblins come and kill us all, and with my luck, that's actually going to happen
-Dishmab Ulolbesmar, expedition leader

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2014, 09:50:02 pm »

Well, time to start putting this place back together, it may be slow with this group, but we'll get there eventually
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Wait, more migrants? I don't think these guys were on our first launch, so they must have been sent after... Does this mean we're still expected to do well? I suppose I can't slouch now...
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Well, damn, a ghost... I guess we need to get those coffins out faster, more workers on woodworking and stone carving, quickly!
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OH THAT'S JUST SUPER! NOW WE'VE GOT A FEY MOOD AS WELL!!!! THIS PLACE IS DRIVING ME MAD!!!
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AAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
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What the hell was I thinking? We can't just stop cutting trees, we need wood for stuff! What else is going wrong now?
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Well... S*** that guy might have been useful, but I didn't get the order in for a gem cutting workshop in time... Maybe I should ask the militia captain what's been going on, since I'm clearly too inept to balance all this...
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Whoops, no beds, I bet I can solve this and the lack of a hospital problem in one swoop if I just put the beds in the medical area, these dwarves don't really care...
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Wai-Wha- WHY ARE THEY SENDING MORE MIGRANTS NOW?!?!! I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN JOBS FOR THESE OTHER GUYS AND THEY'RE ALREADY SENDING MORE?!?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON IN MOUNTAINHOME THAT THEY THINK CATAPULTING PEOPLE TO THIS TINY ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IS PREFERABLE TO STAYING?!?!?!

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #19 on: January 29, 2014, 10:59:32 am »

The first thing I feel I should say: F*** THIS PLACE!!!! We finally struck metal after over a year digging out this island
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PLATINUM?!?!?!?! This stuff can't hold an edge! Screw it, we're building our trap components out of glass, I was hoping we wouldn't need traps at all, but after the woodcutter incident, I'm not getting caught without defenses again...
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I had my doubts before, but this place is definitely haunted:
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Hatch cover?!?!?! Couldn't you at least make a chair or something we have a use for? I suppose we could use it to cover the entrance to the cave or something...

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Oh great, now I've got to take care of this baby too, if I die of overwork, I blame this fortress

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Kittens? I remember what the "How to lead a fortress" instructional booklet said to do in this situation
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You know what? If we're going to improve the health of this island, it's gotta exorcise
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Oh yeah, and what does this madhouse need? MORE DWARVES!!!!
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food's going to become a problem if this keeps up, I think I'll start with expanding farms, maybe build some nest boxes to put all those Ravens we've been catching in our cages to use... Also, some of these slackers can get to fishing, we've got a whole ocean, may as well use it
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-Dishmab Ulolbesmar, expedition leader, beginning to plan retirement

Movie

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2014, 02:34:25 am »

This story is hilarious please keep it up, id like too try to get in on this game as well however i have a hectic school/work schedule so i don't know if i would be able too complete my term in a timely fashion. I would hate for the forgotten beast of real life to claim this fort.
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Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #21 on: February 01, 2014, 07:37:41 pm »

Oh look, the caravan has arrived!
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Now we can trade these stone goods and low quality crossbows for some stuff we actually need, like weapons and tools since there's apparently NO METAL IN THIS F***ING ISLAND!!!!!
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Oh, the liaison is here too, guess we can request more stuff for the NEXT caravan, in a YEAR!!! Well, gotta do political business, they did warn me this was part of leading a fortress...
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Our hunters have been slacking, so I guess we could use some leather, and more metal is always useful...
Anyway, these traders have finally set up at the trading post, so lets see what they have...
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Legend? Didn't think the fortress almost dying of thirst and punching out a crazy lumberjack were that big of accomplishments, but I suppose most fortresses die out after a year, so maybe we're still doing well?
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lets see... this stuff for steel and bronze... wait, not high enough value? well, going to have to modify this slightly...
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These guys drive a hard bargain, but we can make more crappy crossbows and bone scepters whenever, now all the little dwarf children in Mountainhome can pretend to be a monarch.... Speaking of which, I wonder how long it will be before the monarch decides to move to this island...
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Our fish trap is being built just as I designed it, nothing could possibly stop us from dining on tons of undersea life now!
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Lazy slackers, we have TONS of cages, just grab one out of the stockpile, I don't care if you have to stand on another cage trap to install it! Oh also, we finally found weapons grade metal, but it's all Galena. We'll have the greatest hammer-and-crossbow based military in all dwarfdom -_-
-Dishmab Ulolbesmar, still expedition leader

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #22 on: February 02, 2014, 12:30:31 am »

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Dishmab is far too frustrated with the past season and is busy yelling and smashing stone, so I'll be writing the report this time... I'm not much better with anger management, but I don't have to try to manage an entire fort at the same time. It started off simply enough, a new year begins and new migrants arrive...
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In an effort to build up a higher population of egg-layers, the nest boxes and eggs were forbidden
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Unfortunately, the eggs didn't hatch before the end of the season, and the nest boxes were unforbidden to allow them to be harvested,
As far as I know, the food situation isn't very dire, especially with the army of fisherdwarves and swathe of beehives we have set up
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Honestly, it seems like the most common injury at this fortress is beestings...
One good thing did happen though, that annoying liaison finally left
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That discussion went on for at least three months, from what I heard at least half of that was spent arguing about whether or not the monarch was an elf-loving cavy-spawn.
Then the trouble starts:
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To boost morale, statues were installed in the regularly travelled hallways, I don't really understand the appeal, they're just limestone monoliths with a few chips knocked out, It's actually kind of creepy how they seem to watch us eat...
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Unfortunately one statue trapped two dwarves in the animal pens, and they died, the statue had to be moved, and Dishmab flipped out.
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While expanding our farms, there was a very small collapse of a surface cavern, it didn't do much damage, but it ruined the plans set up for one of the undergound crop fields by exposing a patch of it to sunlight, so that had to be worked around, and it left holes in the light-exposed crop fields:
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Didn't take long for a fey mood to begin, which wasn't that remarkable in itself, but it's what he asked for that was the problem:
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We haven't had fresh game on this island since the capybaras from when we first landed, so the one male donkey we had, which was deemed the least valuable of our hide-bearing livestock, was sent to be slaughtered:
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The problem was that leather wasn't the only material, it also needed stone, which we had more of than we would be using on any one project, no matter how large, and silk, which we had never had at any point in our fortress' history.
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Dishmab doesn't like losing people, especially to insanity after the incident with the woodcutter, so she ordered the deeper levels of the caves to be excavated at a dangerous rate attempting to find the caverns, where our dwarven ancestors got their underground crops from, and where silk-laying spiders live. We have yet to discover anything.

On a better note, work has finally gotten underway on rooms for all the dwarven families living in the fort:
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Having to climb ten sets of stairs to get from your bedroom to the meeting area and food stores may seem crazy, but compared to everything else in this fortress, it's quite reasonable. Naturally, the leader and their family get the largest room.
-Urist Kivishsezuk, Woodcrafter

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #23 on: February 02, 2014, 01:37:01 pm »

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Haha! I finally suckered someone else into taking over managing this madhouse
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Not a week into her rule and she's already banned export of backpacks, as if we would've sold those to begin with
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Oh look, the birds are coming back, better grab a crossbow...
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And even more migrants! Good luck with that Ber, you'll need it!
-Dishmab Ulolbesmar, retired expedition leader, Metalsmith

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #24 on: February 02, 2014, 04:17:24 pm »

Just got this journal of what goes on in this fortress from the last leader, I believe it was Dish-something... anyway...
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The miner in the fey mood died... well he went insane, but he may as well be dead
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Also it appears that every female dwarf in this fortress started having babies at the same time...
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I think that's the first masterpiece we've had in this fortress, I know how much the previous leader loved statues, so I think I'll have it put in her room:
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Let's see what else happened...
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Wait! that workshop is... actually... kind of important... too late to stop that guy now...
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You occupied our workshop for almost a month over... a chair? That had better be the best chair in the world
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...I guess that'll do then, looks like someone's getting a very nice wooden throne
-Ber Zuglarrulush, Mayor

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2014, 01:57:51 pm »

We ought to start building defenses, if the caravans can get here, it's only a matter of time before invaders are knocking on our door
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Well, winter's arrived and the water's frozen, I'd better...
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I think that's was the guy that went insane, but it reminds me, we need to get brewing
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There's no backpacks here? What do I have to do to get some damn backpacks in this fortress, kill someone?
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It shouldn't be long before...
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Yep, caravan and liaison have arrived, lets make sure we have all we need, we're not really doing anything with all these glass serrated disks and giant axes, so they should give us some leeway
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Ok, steel, iron, a bit of silk in case someone gets a mood... looks like that's everything!
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Pleasure doing business with you merchants, good luck getting off this island!
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The liaison is still here? WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!!?!?!? Forget it, you can stay until the next caravan for all I care...
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Whoops, gotta manage these pastures better and avoid starving our animals...
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This kid's in a fey mood, lets see what comes of this...
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Oh Armok, NOW you want to talk? No, f*** you, you stay ten steps behind me until the next caravan comes to pick you up!
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He made a doll? does any mood in this fortress make anything useful? Nope, just had to check the records, the most useful thing we've gotten is the artifact chair...
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Excellent, more people I can set to work building this wall, we'll be secure in no time!
-Ber Zuglarrulush, Mayor

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #26 on: February 05, 2014, 05:47:55 pm »

Not too much going on, so I think an overview of some of the current accomplishments in the fortress is in order:
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The fisherdwarves and egg laying animals have filled our larder to the point that we can now make only lavish meals, and we should never again have to resort to those dry meat biscuits fit only for canine consumption
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Progress is well under way on our aqueduct, soon we will be able to store and retrieve clean water from inside the fortress rather than needing to walk all the way to the oceanside well...
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Our caravan entryway has been completed, small enough to be safe from intruders, large enough for a caravan to get through, and able to be sealed up in case of invasion
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Construction is underway on the alternate entrance, a few traps are already put down, but I plan to use the extra doors we have to make a sort of airlock so a few one-to-two-weapon weapon traps can be activated until they jam, then the invaders are allowed into another room with more weapon traps, we've got a whole hallway to fill
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The dining area has been filled with statues, now they will have to admire the handiwork of our kiln-workers, soon we will have a statue and chest in every bedroom and nobody will go insane ever again  :D
-Ber Zuglarrulush, Mayor

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I give it a year before the legendary warrior battalion goes nuts and kills us all
-Dishmab Ulolbesmar, retired expedition leader, Metalsmith

peregarrett

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #27 on: February 05, 2014, 11:54:15 pm »

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Oh, a dwarven sashimi! Yummy!
Logged
Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #28 on: February 08, 2014, 10:46:51 am »

Well, things have been going well so far, with only a few rough patches
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I understand the fish are delicious, but to whoever keeps stealing the live fish from the tank, could you please stop
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Whoops, somebody brought a baby into the enhanced training facility and it died, luckily we minimized the mother's psychological damage with our excess of coffins
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I wonder if our stockpile of wood is big enough yet... Probably not, we should expand again at the earliest convenience
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Oh Armok, why does everyone hate this window so much? All I want is to have a safe spot to watch invaders from while inside this archer tower, is that too much to ask?
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YES! FINALLY! THE LIAISON LEFT! This calls for celebra-
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I'm just got a note... I lost the mayorial election... Damn, you let one baby get impaled and they hate you forever. I'm finishing this report though!
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AUGH! These animals! They have an entire field to themselves! Can't they spread out and NOT all pile into one square Urist of space?!?!?!?!?
-Ber Zuglarrulush, Retired Mayor, Miner

This Fortress is mine now! Muhahahahahaha! All the mead will be mine!
-Melbil Febrigoth, Mayor

Aslandus

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Re: Alathshem Bothplanks - A tale of isolation and salty water
« Reply #29 on: February 08, 2014, 02:23:59 pm »

Got some more migrants, not going to bother with a picture since it always looks the same anyway...
You know what really says authority? A gold throne, I think I'll put in an order for one... Ok, fine we don't have any gold so I won't send the local skull collector if it doesn't get done, but I will be quite cross!
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Now then, better check on the aqueduct and make sure we can have clea-
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WTF?!?!!?! How did a weretapir get onto this island?!?!!? Someone must've dropped him/her off to banish them from society... Lucky us...
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Well, This is why we have deadly warriors trained in beating things to death with clubs...
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Those dogs got downed fast, we'll need to think through the security on this gate again...
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Oh, he turned into a... a HUMAN?!?!?! There's no human civilizations here!!!
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This is ridiculous, from what I heard humans can't even dig trans-island tunnels, did they catapult him out into the open ocean for being a werebeast or something?
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And he's... running away... Not sure where he thinks he's going, but I'm kind of disappointed, I wanted to see an epic showdown of our new militia beating down the beastie, or at least get him caught in a cage to see if we could get him to join us, a giant weretapir would be an awesome addition to our security teams, he's already proven superior to the war dogs...
-Melbil Febrigoth, Mayor
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