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Author Topic: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-  (Read 169701 times)

hector13

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1500 on: January 24, 2019, 11:52:21 pm »

Listen, mate, last person I knew who had that life goal was a self-righteous twat who cheated on his long-term girlfriend basically every time she stepped out the door, practiced "courtesy puking", frequently drove himself home from parties with a BAC value of "DEAD", and got kicked off of Notre Dame campus for being drunk and buzzed on cocaine all the damn time.

Also very much a devout catholic, and didn't see the conflict of interest there because "well, it's hard to follow all the rules all the time".


Don't stoop to Juggernaut's level. He was a cunt.

I used to work with someone like that. Went out every weekend with his mates in an effort to get laid (‘cause it’s a numbers game, apparently?) while getting absolutely smashed, singing the praises of one of his closest friends who cheated on his long-term gf during these escapades, and then sheepishly told me that he one time did something really romantic for an ex of his, but that I was to keep it secret because he’d lose man points, whatever the fuck they are.

Though I guess the start of their relationship was apparently when they went to the STI clinic together to get checked out and show each other they were clean, or some shit.

Claimed to be a strong Catholic, and that all Protestants were essentially Satan.

Quite the guy.

Oh oh, I almost forgot that he appeared in a tabloid newspaper when he had sex with a girl in a children’s play park in broad daylight.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Kagus

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1501 on: January 25, 2019, 04:40:59 am »

Juggy was at a house party the night after his girlfriend left town, fooling around with a girl in one of the rooms upstairs when he had to turn his phone off because it was making noise.

He checked afterwards and it was making noise because his girlfriend had texted him about "missing you already", while he was being steamy with some random chick.

Naturally, he hopped on the forum in another drunken haze and asked everyone to confirm that he was still a good person.


So, there was at least the faintest twinkling of introspection there, but not quite enough to actually recognize that the shit may in fact be fucked up.

Ten.
Dollars.
Were they pre-drunk or something?

Hanslanda

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1502 on: January 25, 2019, 05:24:12 am »

Nope, damaged packaging.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Kagus

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1503 on: January 25, 2019, 05:31:04 am »

Ahh yes... Not the "five-finger" discount, but rather the "Hey, watch me Tokyo Forklift this motherfucker" discount.

Hanslanda

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1504 on: January 25, 2019, 05:37:00 am »

The old store manager was an over ordering moron and he didn't get rid of the stuff so there was a massive stockpile of it. New SM decided to lump it into five dollar boxes. I bought two.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

dragdeler

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1505 on: January 25, 2019, 05:48:47 am »

-
« Last Edit: November 21, 2020, 09:54:41 am by dragdeler »
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let

Hanslanda

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1506 on: January 25, 2019, 05:58:23 am »

manager was an over ordering moron

Aren't they all? I could keep this post drunk (yeah no ok hydrated it was a lot of 0% beer and light products) for half a year with what I've poured down the drain in 2018.

Yeah. We thankfully find ways to mitigate loss where I work. We can take home dented cans and damaged packages, buy damaged alcohol, and we give most of the produce waste to food pantries or composters.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

ggamer

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1507 on: January 27, 2019, 03:43:42 am »

So... Like, academically, I understand the idea behind being forward about your own sexuality. But every time I accidentally reveal it to a friend, I learn a new reason why trying to introduce this to my family is a horrific idea. This is pretty dang miserable. Frowning emoji. 😓

Jimmy

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1508 on: January 28, 2019, 04:41:26 am »

I dunno, I've been open about my sexuality for years and I've never had any problems. My wife is completely understanding about my monogamous heterosexual preferences.
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Kagus

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1509 on: January 29, 2019, 06:17:18 pm »

I dunno, I've been open about my sexuality for years and I've never had any problems. My wife is completely understanding about my monogamous heterosexual preferences.
Deviant.

Anyways, this was my weekly night out. Over the course of my excursion to the standard hideout, I have not only been invited to a Finn's "oh god I need to get drunk" situation tomorrow night, but have also had an extremely engaging conversation about economic principles with a particularly chatty patron at the bar.

"Engaging" mostly for him, he knew what I was going to say whether or not the prediction had anything to do with what I was saying, so he mostly kept the discussion going without requiring my input.

"Investments, such as Bitcoin, are a simple calculation. You invest money in a good investment, and then you make money!"

"Before, a thousand people were rich... now, a hundred thousand people are rich! The total wealth of humanity has increased greatly! It's only those who are stupid and make bad investment choices who are suffering now!"

This was apparently the counterpoint to... whatever the fuck he thought I was saying. I really don't think he actually heard me beyond his own assumptions of what my communist peon ass would likely say.


He bought me a beer though, so... Eh?

Rolan7

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1510 on: January 29, 2019, 06:43:29 pm »

He bought me a beer though, so... Eh?
See, trickle down economics work~

Sounds like you guy an amusing comedy bit with your beer, heh.
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Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

Jimmy

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1511 on: January 30, 2019, 02:40:15 am »

Despite the fact that Bitcoin is more of a commodity market than a currency, I do wish I'd listened to my gut and bought a thousand bucks of Bitcoin five years ago.

Then cashed out at the 1st of January of last year, of course.
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Kagus

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1512 on: January 30, 2019, 07:57:14 pm »

So, I promised the Finnish bartender that I'd show up tonight to keep her company for a while, since tomorrow is her first and only day off after a lot of extremely taxing days.

But, y'know, she gets off work at midnight... I was there for a couple hours being a beacon of mostly level-headedness while the people around me did their best to break human society into its component parts, waiting for her to get finished with her shift, and then we spent almost an hour and a half shooting the shit about past relationships.

I just got home at 1:24 AM. GF is pretending to be asleep, and I'm quite aware of the unpleasant things she's thinking about me right now. Honestly can't blame her, it sounds suspicious as fuck to just go "yeah hey, I'm heading out to go drinking and provide emotional support for that pretty Finnish bartender I've mentioned a few times but that you don't know, I'll be home whenever", especially considering my GF's ex was stepping out on her for a while before they broke up, and he'd told her that his side chick was "just a friend, nobody to worry about", and then they hooked up officially the day after my GF broke it off with the dude.

I just... I want to have a social life, but it all seems extraordinarily fucking shady for someone who isn't there.


Oh right, and I gotta get up at 9. That'll be fun.

ggamer

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1513 on: January 30, 2019, 08:49:36 pm »

Situations like that suck mondo wiener! But I think as long as you keep everything above board (and, if you're good enough friends with Ms. Finland, introduce her to your gf) it should turn out well enough. Relationships are built on trust, after all.

Kagus

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Re: Drunk Thread -(Awesome Thread)-
« Reply #1514 on: January 31, 2019, 03:05:07 am »

I've tried bringing the GF along a few times, but she wasn't interested in going. I had her along one time we were out with a couple friends and I managed to express that I'd rather go to the slightly more "rustic" bar where I know the personnel are nice than to whatever packed sardine club we were otherwise headed towards. Finnish bartender was there, but had about five seconds of spare time to come over and say hi when cleaning up glasses... So technically speaking they've "met", but no actual interactions have occurred between them.

I've tried to be as open and honest about it as possible, but since they still really don't know each other I don't know what my GF thinks about the whole ordeal. I thought it'd be fine after the bartender got a boyfriend that I could point to, but they broke up just before Christmas (which was part of the reason she really wanted someone to talk to). And yeah, "comforting my attractive friend who just recently broke up with her boyfriend" doesn't come out sounding very good either.


In other news, managed to find an even more annoying bar patron than Patronizing Bitcoin Economist. Oh, heh, PBE ended up latching on to one of the bartender's Finnish friends, who was drunk enough to not be repelled by the one-way economy talk... The friend eventually tried to settle the issue by saying "well, money isn't really my currency anyways, so to speak", at which point the PBE came out with this nugget:

"But it is though".
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