BURN A DOZEN DVDS OF RECENTLY PRODUCED ANIME, CRUSH IT UP INTO FINE DUST AND SNORT IT
AFTERWARDS PROCEED WITH FORCING GM TO LICK TURTLES
[6] You cut SnK with Free! and top it off with a dose of Kill la Kill! Then you snort it, while breathing smoke from some more anime using a brass Jamaican bong, you drugface you! Everything turns wonderful and trope-overdosed!
LordSlowpoke has gained a TROPE METER![5] The turtles are finger-licking good, I tell ya. Having to lick'em in front of everybody is kinda disquieting, though. (+1 EMB +1 OVD)
More SFW romantic nonsense.
[6] ...FUCK. Well, so we have romantic and touching shenanigans, in the course of which I have to sacrifice my ELDRITCH POWERS to protect you, and you have to swear to never again roll a six while in this thread, under threat of immediate and dire consequences. I'm not kidding at all.
Avis has lost the ELDRITCHITUDE METER completely! He's just a Hobo Magical Girl now!Pray
[5] God hears your inane babbling, and is endeared! He grants you some HOLINESS POINTS to use for goody-goody shit or summat! Cheers! (+3 HOL)
Preach the glories of science and technology to the GM, in an attempt to turn him from his Cthuluan ways.
[4] Well heck, I already have. I'll just add a few OVERDRIVE POINTS or something, so you don't feel neglected. (+2 OVD)
COMBAT OPERANDI -> CLOWNSTORM
[3] The clowns all tumble into the hole in the universe you made before, and nobody takes any damage! This is lame! Try harder!
Reveal that I actually stole it by inverting the quatro-blimonoid conserves, thus initiating a resonance dump and breaching the player-GM rift.
Then hit gandalf's face.
[5] Well guess what, you did. Shiiiiit. Your technobabble is superior! I don't get what you stole, though, so I'll say it was the babelfish. Fire it or whatever?
[4] The spinning fist strikes Gandalf in the nose, shattering the bone! Gandalf gives in to pain.
Convert all of time into a computer. Upload self into time-computer.
[2] You get a computer, but it's an Apple! You don't have the legal right to convert time on it! Besides, the UI was designed for people with hydrocephalia! Look, I can riff on Apple! Spin in that coffin, Jobs!
Fire the babelfish in a way that allows me to return! Then charge another one!
You would fire it, but Dorsidwarf nicked it while you were absent, so you settle for just returning. [4] Another babelfish is charged! Have a duel or something!
BEGIN OPERATION: BLACK SNOW!
USE MY URSIDAE ACCELERATOR CANNON TO RAPID FIRE CHINESE PANDAS EQUIPPED WITH LIGHTSABERS AT GM!
Also, get my GM SPORK back!
[1] A horde of Chinese assassins finds you and puts you down like a rabid dog for messing with the People's pandas! Don't mess with China where pandas are involved! In fact, don't mess with China at all, it ain't talking about chicken n' gravy biatch!
[2] And they don't give you your spork back. Not that you care, being dead.
(Forgot the knightliness meter for me. Proof it existed:
[6] There's no plot, you silly old fool! Except there is now, because of your meddling. On the other hand, your efforts to protect me have made you look knightly. You gain a KNIGHTLINESS point to do with as you will!
I used up that one point, but...)
Return victoriously from my quest to get the Overseer Project's Ragnarocxcaliber, the ultimate sword, with a army of knights behind me all sworn to defend the GM.
It was a single point, and scales which have no points in them disappear. Sucks.
[6]You wield the blade, and the blade is
STORMBRINGER! It hungers for blood!
The Knights Hospitalier have arrived in full crusade mode! They are under Zanzetkuken's command! (+1 PLT)
Film the GM going on a highly scandalous date with a dominatrix banana head lady.
[1] The BANANA HEAD LADY is miffed by your paparazzi antics! She whips your ass and defenestrates you! You fall down into the street, where you are ran over by an ICE CREAM TRUCK! This kills you! Serves you right!
Arrive fifteen minute late with Starbucks. And a pagan god of wind for back up.
[2] Starbucks is closed for renovation! A thousand coffee zombies are clawing at the door, wailing about CAFFEINE!
[5] Well, you enlist the aid of
FLATULUS, the mighty Greek god of wind! What'cha gonna do, dawwg?
Seek out xantlos and learn how to be an endritch master
Punch him in face to teach him the art of the bruise.
Eat the GM.
[4] His face wraps around your fist like a blueberry meringue! The art of the bruise, and also the art of the broken nose and subcutaneous haemorrhage is learned by him!
[5 vs. 1] The attack is intercepted by Lenglon, who was on guard! She's warm and comfy here inside your stomach. She shares living space with a dozen forgotten worlds and a bacon sandwich.
Seek out xantlos and learn how to be an endritch master
Punch him in face to teach him the art of the bruise.
Eat the GM.
Steal some of his power while he punches me
[3] Alas! The only power you manage to steal is the kinetic energy of his fist. In your face. Great job there, buddy.
Activate it.
Activate what, you silly dogg? [4] Okay, so let's say you meant the narwhal launcher. It fires! The NARWHAL is stuck in the BRICK WALL horn-first.
Film the GM going on a highly scandalous date with a dominatrix banana head lady.
((Lol.))
Deny this happened. The GM is MINE.
Proceed to act all cute and wounded.
[3] You know that this happened only because I had to set a trap for DAF, so your wounded act is kinda forced there. No LFP there. Also, this is your second action this turn. I noticed, see?
Warp in from nowhere with the entirety of the Imperium of Man's army and space-navy.
[3] Do you even imagine the size of that..? Nah, not a chance. You attemt to summon everyone in the universe, but some bored Administratum clerk tells you to bugger off and hangs up. That bastard.
Acquire Plot Points. Unite the Fellowship of the Ring
[2] Silly birdy, only the GM may have plot points. Sorry babe, it just ain't your story, y'know what I'm talking about? Also, you're unconscious because Dorsidwarf punched you in the face.
Wait for the godmodder. If he left any instructions to do, do them. If they were not to do something, then don't do them.
[5] You succeed in waiting. Awesome, bro. He's already there, you know? I believe I told you so, in bold, even.
Finish recombination. Assume control of Megatigertron. Begin besieging the GM.
[3] It is progressing extremely slowly! A MISERABLE FLECK OF BULLSHIT is stuck between two of the RECOMBINATION DRIVE's gears! What to do, what to do~...
Fire all weapons at GM.
[1] You have no weapons, dunce! You attempt to acquire them from COLOMBIAN ARMS DEALERS, but they double-cross you and murder your ass, since they actually sell drugs, not guns! Don't ask me how that correlates, since it doesn't!
[2] You arrive in a blaze of...well, fire. You are now on fire! Stop, drop and roll! Or burn to death, like I even care!
Become Fire.
[5] You are now a fire elemental! This is kinda cool, I say so myself. Certainly a nice alternative to stopping, dropping, and rolling, though I wouldn't put it into a PSA.
Find a nice Fire Weird to settle down with. Make little fire babies. Lots of little fire babies.
[4] You settle down with one! Her name is Mary! You have a son, called Mary, and a daughter, also called Mary! You also get a notice reminding you to bold your actions! What ho!
EXIST AS GM FROM ALTERNATE DIMENSION. USE CHEATING POWERS TO CRUSH EVIL GM WITH PALACE.
[1] The dimension in which you exist has different laws of physics, so when you arrive, you are torn atom from atom and disintegrated! Those two are actually synonyms! Respawn?
GM TURN: Avis unjams the Gizoogle and fires it into the air! [6] It be supa effectizzle biaaatch! From dis moment onward, all Gizoogled actions receive a +1!
KHAN TURN: Khan lengthens his STACHE with an effort of will![5] It grows with the creak of a thousand ancient forests! Behold, and be amazed! (+2 STP)
OVERDRIVE METER: |=====____|
ALCOHOL METER: |==_______|
LOVE FRIENDSHIP POWER METER: |========_|
EMBARRASSMENT METER: |======___|
PLOT GAUGE:|====_____|
Lenglon: HOLINESS |=========___|
Dorsidwarf: UNDEFINED |========_|
Derm: INVISIBLE HELICAT SQUAD: |========_|
JAGHATAI KHAN: STACHE METER:|============|
killerhellhound: ELDRITCHITUDE METER: |=________|
LordSlowpoke: TROPE METER: |=========|
DarkArtemisFowl TROLL SLOT: [PISS-WEAK TROLLS]
Author
Topic: Roll to be friends with the GM - Well, I did say "within this year"... (Read 45616 times)