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Reader count!  Do you read TLCM?  If so, pick your favorite character below!

Misty Kolnazom, the Greatest Cheesemaker Ever!
Reg Pashmad the Recruit
Gruzzlus Holt the Captain
Plumpy the Plump Helmet Man
Kulet Lokunnomel the Nun
Enir Twigappears the Overseer
Darkerdaffodil the Elf
Maynard the Mule
Other
Iron Owl the Iron Knight

Pages: 1 ... 161 162 [163] 164 165 ... 348

Author Topic: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 12/07/2022  (Read 1864925 times)

Aslandus

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story) Update 12/18
« Reply #2430 on: December 24, 2014, 12:29:09 am »

Everyone: have a welcome party. Let the dead elves rot in the anteroom, cleanup can wait. I mean, you're not expecting a visit from a friendly neighbourhood necromancer, are you? There sure are none of those around, no sir/ma'am.

on the other hand, if the necromancer does show up and she takes elf's soul for whatever the necromancer might try to make her his/her apprentice, you know, lure her to the dark side and all that.  Zombie cheese, just think of it.

Because, as people have said about 20 times, the necromancer is definitely a (possibly THE) legendary cheesemaker. S/he may also be one of Misty's biological parents, because Star Wars.
"I told them dirt roads were not good enough, and when the armies came the dirt roads had just worn out and they were unable to march to the town in time. Now that I have my own workforce I will correct this and none shall face the elven menace without the empire's support again!"
"What does that have to do with cheese?"
"Not everything is about cheese, sweetie, and until you realize that you will never become truly legendary..."

expwnent

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story) Update 12/18
« Reply #2431 on: December 24, 2014, 09:47:46 am »

What mancer? I only remember the necrocheeser.
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keyreper

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story) Update 12/18
« Reply #2432 on: December 24, 2014, 02:40:47 pm »

What mancer? I only remember the necrocheeser.
I think you mean Tyromancer.
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expwnent

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story) Update 12/18
« Reply #2433 on: December 24, 2014, 03:31:59 pm »

Tyromancer just means you do magic with cheese. Necrocheeser implies something to do with dead cheese, or something evil with cheese. A tyromancer could just as easily be a good guy, but a necrocheeser is definitely evil. There would be no association between a tyromancer and zombies, but a necrocheeser might dabble in raising corpses to milk them or to defend his undead cows. We've already seen zombies near the tower, so the evidence points more strongly to a necrocheeser.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2014, 03:36:45 pm by expwnent »
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evictedSaint

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker (Illustrated Interactive Story) Update 12/18
« Reply #2434 on: December 24, 2014, 07:45:01 pm »




"Hello and welcome to Shielddawn, the most glorious of all Dwarven Fortresses, where every dwarf is valued and has a purpose and so on and so forth etcetera blah blah blah.

"My name is Enir Buzatasrer, the current Overseer of this hell-hole.  Today is the first of Granite, which means I just finished my year-long stint as Overseer and can finally pass this place off to whoever's next in line to be in charge of this toxic dump.  I would be doing that right now if I didn't have to process you five, so let's make this quick, alright? Alright."







"Name."

"Kulet Lokunnomel, and this here is Rimtar Iridmedtob."

"Are you a vampire?"

"Nope!"

"Wonderful.  Profession?"

"Well now, I'm a nun, and he used to be a weaponsmith, if I recall right."


"Great."







"Well, welcome to Shielddawn.  Here's your complimentary map of the fortress.  You can drop your friend off in the catacombs, then make your way to the church on level fifty six."







"Next.  Names?"

"Deler Adatith, and my husband Neb Uristdodok, and our son Rovod Datanzust."

"Any of you vampires?"

"Not that we know of."

"Professions?"

"Farmers.  I'm a wax worker, and Neb here is a beekeeper.  That's actually how we met, you see.  It's a funny story - "

"All I heard was 'Farmers'."









"Here's your complimentary map.  Report down to the farming level for assignment."






"Oh, and take the plump helmet man with you.  Make sure you lock him up with the others.  We have enough problems already without more of those pests running around."










"Next.  Name?"

"Cog Uristsodel, but I'm just here visiting - "

"Are you a vampire?"

"Well, no, but I'm not actually a migrant. I'm just visiting my sister."








" ... "










"You're a mechanic, aren't you?"

"I...yes, but you're not listening, I'm just here visiting - "










"Welcome to Shielddawn, here is your complimentary map.  Please report down to the housing district.  The sewers backed up and flooded the entire level and we need someone to hook up a drainage hatch.  We'd get one of our other Engineers to do it, but they're all busy trying to fix the aqueducts before they overflow and drown the entire upper level again.

"Oh, and try to hurry.  It's been a few days now and all the remaining dwarves on that level and the ones below it are going to start starving to death soon."





"Next.  Name?"


next
« Last Edit: April 18, 2015, 05:48:55 pm by evictedSaint »
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pisskop

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Awesome.  Do Masterwork nuns actually do things?

"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
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IronyOwl

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Truly, updates are the greatest gift of all.

And that's it, Plumpy. Revel in the blood of your enemy.


"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
The odds of this working are not great, but a lot better than I'd like to admit. This place is clearly a mess, so the chances that the next overseer will be indisposed or selected through a metaphorical list rather than a literal one are kind of okay.

I say we at least explore the possibility. Ask her to tell us more about this list, and see if there's some chance to claim the spot yourself. You are an overseer's daughter, right? That makes you qualified, sort of, by a certain definition.
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The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Magnumcannon

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Say that you're a cheesemaker and be assigned to engraving.
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WillowLuman

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Awesome.  Do Masterwork nuns actually do things?

"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
+1 to trying this, but after it fails do this:

Say that you're a cheesemaker and be assigned to engraving.
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Max™

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Awesome.  Do Masterwork nuns actually do things?

"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
*first post in the thread to support this awesome idea*
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Aslandus

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Ask to see the grave of the legendary dwarven hero

Sirus

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Awesome.  Do Masterwork nuns actually do things?

"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
YES. PLUS ONE.
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Lost in Nowhere

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"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
Yes. All the yes.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2014, 11:06:44 pm by Lost in Nowhere »
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Arcvasti

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Awesome.  Do Masterwork nuns actually do things?

"MISTEM WHEELDREAMS, OVERSEER"
YES. PLUS ONE.

ALL OF THE PLUS ONES
ALL OF THEM
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Archereon

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>Mistem Wheeldreams, and I have a few problems with how things are being run here. I mean, no offense to you of course but...Well, I haven't had time to learn much about it, but I want to be a cheesemaker, and I know a little bit about engraving. Oh, and my dad is an armorsmith, a really, really good armorsmith. He's also the Duke of Stonefortunes, and the Mayor.


I feel like that's what Misty would actually say, and it will either end with Misty being put to work hauling, drafted into a cannon fodder squad. Or worse, the Overseer will pass you her cap and walk out.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2014, 11:29:45 pm by Archereon »
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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.
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