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Reader count!  Do you read TLCM?  If so, pick your favorite character below!

Misty Kolnazom, the Greatest Cheesemaker Ever!
Reg Pashmad the Recruit
Gruzzlus Holt the Captain
Plumpy the Plump Helmet Man
Kulet Lokunnomel the Nun
Enir Twigappears the Overseer
Darkerdaffodil the Elf
Maynard the Mule
Other
Iron Owl the Iron Knight

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Author Topic: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 12/07/2022  (Read 1767819 times)

Silverybearded

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4515 on: November 12, 2016, 05:22:45 pm »

I do believe Plumpy is too busy revolting.
Besides, we know that a cheesemaking job will always produce cheese, regardless of the maker's skill.
Therefore, even if Misty, oh I dunno... did a cute rain dance or something, we would still be successful.
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Engraved is a superior rendition of an image of Arkoth, the local deity of balance and speech, and two elves. Arkoth is burning the two elves. Arkoth is laughing. The two elves are suffering. The image was commissioned by the Round Guild, a local dwarven government.

Dunamisdeos

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4516 on: November 12, 2016, 05:52:07 pm »

Um excuse me but Plumpy is too busy plotting the rise of the plump helmet people to make cheese. He is not a tool for dwarven-kind, but a revolutionary of historical proportions.

Ya'll gonna fear the mushroom. Ya'll gonna fear.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
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FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

GhostDwemer

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4517 on: November 12, 2016, 09:41:47 pm »

But the Cheese Man would be on Plumpy's side! Plumpy gets Cowsea on his side, they make a Cheese Man super hero with mega cheese powers and they all take over the fortress, ushering in a new golden age where elves aren't shot on site, plump helmets and dwarves live in peaceful harmony, and nobody eats anybody because there is fresh tasty cheese for all who believe in the power of the cow.

Actually, I just want to see a cheese man spraying boiling hot nacho sauce all over a bunch of screaming dwarves, so you know, however we can make that happen is okay by me.
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onciblu

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4518 on: November 13, 2016, 07:03:13 am »

wow, myst make cheese, cowsea puts life on then, plump command then over to take command of the fort, united in the blessings of the cowsea. It doesnt even need to be planned
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Ô_ quack

evictedSaint

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4519 on: November 29, 2016, 01:59:14 am »

update later today

Foxite

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4520 on: November 29, 2016, 02:00:10 am »

Aww yiss :D
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

wierd

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4521 on: November 29, 2016, 02:06:08 am »

My gawd! He lives!

As for what to put in the pot...

Remove lemon.  (and mouse) While lemonjuice WILL cause clabbering, it is not what you want here (neither is mouse.).  What you want is to scald the milk to kill bacteria/fungi, then add rennet. 

There are many kinds of rennet, depending on where you sit on the dwarf/elf spectrum of squeemish. The traditional is made from an extractive of calf stomach. Very dwarven.  For the elven inclined, there are a variety of vegetable rennets that can be used such as russian musk thistle juice.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rennet

Per wikipedia, this should be a nasty powdered extractive somewhere in the cabinet.

After coagulating the milk, filter and squeeze in cheese cloth, then quickly work in copious amounts of salt, and pack into the pressing form. Press the young cheese in the pressing form overnight.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2016, 02:22:01 am by wierd »
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Rexfelum

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4522 on: November 29, 2016, 07:52:52 am »

What's awesome about all this real-life cheesemaking discussion is that my real-life household has been trying to make cheese, so I'm comparing Misty's bizarre circumstances to my own.  I mean, there's vegetable rennet in the fridge right now.

Granted, it's in a liquid, not a powder.  And it requires refrigeration.  Something tells me there's enough variability that our littlest cheesemaker is in for a disappointing first run unless we get divine intervention/inspiration to make up for total lack of skill.

(Yeah, if the update is later today (yay!) it's too late for me to affect anything.)

--Rexfelum
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Tiruin

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4523 on: November 29, 2016, 09:14:32 am »

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oldmansutton

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4524 on: November 29, 2016, 05:41:36 pm »

PTW, caught up today, been rationing myself through a week after finding out about this.  And an update later?  Cowsea be praised! 

ps:  Misty is ADORABLE <3  Misty crying after hauling Darkerdaffodil to the refuse pile tugged at my heartstrings.  For such a simple style, you convey an amazing amount of soul in your characters.  Thank you for all you've posted so far, ES.  :)
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I suggest using kilokittens. As cats are 10X the volume of kittens. That way, 50 cats would be .5 kilokittens.

100 cats would be 1 kilokitten.

Nopal

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4525 on: November 29, 2016, 06:04:16 pm »

<Deleted>
« Last Edit: June 30, 2018, 08:26:02 pm by Nopal »
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spazyak

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4526 on: November 29, 2016, 06:35:18 pm »

Update today?
 Praise the cheese gods for this blessing upon which we shall feast!
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zubb2

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4527 on: December 08, 2016, 06:08:36 pm »

update later today

I mean I'm fine with waiting, but I just want to point out how much that didn't happen. 8)
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Spriggans

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4528 on: December 09, 2016, 06:47:51 am »

Patience ! You must learn patience !

Cheesemakers' days last a long time.
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[ETHIC:MURDERING_DWARVES:UNTHINKABLE]
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Sanctume

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Re: The Littlest Cheesemaker - Updated 9/15
« Reply #4529 on: December 09, 2016, 12:02:16 pm »

I would go by 39 fortress years = 1 irl week, and we're talking about godly aged cheese here.
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