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Author Topic: Ode(s) to Urist  (Read 3702 times)

Porpoisepower

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Ode(s) to Urist
« on: February 17, 2014, 09:07:35 am »

That lever was for the baron,
and now you are barren,
When you should be making,
a masterpiece bearing


Add your own!
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That's what DF needs, The gutbuster brigade.  Screw that elf and his cat. Thibbledorf Pwent is the real hero.

Remuthra

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2014, 09:16:23 am »

Oh little dwarf upon my screen,
Cooped up like a big sardine,
In a box with your pet cat,
Someone pull the lever; SPLAT.

Berossus

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2014, 09:21:46 am »

A pile of stone, a wall to be;
To raise it up was ordered he.
Not from the outworld, from inside!
Oh had he listened - now he died.
Logged
My son, many speak of the honor in war.
My preferred method is to wait until their back is turned, then impale them with a pike held by someone else.
Preferrably from a distance.

tahujdt

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2014, 09:52:26 am »

There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.
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DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Porpoisepower

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2014, 10:01:16 am »

There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.


LMAO
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That's what DF needs, The gutbuster brigade.  Screw that elf and his cat. Thibbledorf Pwent is the real hero.

WordsandChaos

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2014, 11:53:31 am »

Urist was a gatherer
He ventured to the caves
And found a fell forgotten beast
Giant, with webs, and full of rage

Urist, plump helmet in hand,
entered into trance
Took up the battle stance and charged
and stumbled into sticky strands

The beast, unfazed, swept forth a claw
Covered the cave with dwarf-bloodstains
Roared a first and second time,
And dashed out Urist's brains.

Grim Portent

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2014, 01:15:15 pm »

There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.

May I please sig this? It's so glorious that others must see it.
Logged
There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.

tahujdt

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2014, 04:28:14 pm »

There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.

May I please sig this? It's so glorious that others must see it.
Go ahead.
Logged
DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Porpoisepower

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2014, 05:44:35 pm »

Soapmaker make me a stack
Something smelling of walrus and yak
Maybe with a touch of lilac

Be sure to decorate it with rings of slate
And some fibrous ropes I'd appreciate
to keep me from dropping it down the grate

As there is nothing quite as obnoxious
Or anywhere near as preposterous
As being buggered by a herd of colossuses
« Last Edit: February 17, 2014, 05:58:12 pm by Porpoisepower »
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That's what DF needs, The gutbuster brigade.  Screw that elf and his cat. Thibbledorf Pwent is the real hero.

Ultimuh

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2014, 05:53:58 pm »

Here there be many levers
One for the Smasher
Two for the drawbridges
Three for the nobles
Four for the floodgates
Which is which, I forgot



(Yeah I know it doesn't rhyme, but I felt it had a place here.)
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Steam: Ultimuh
Kongregate: Ultimuh
Guns Of Icarus: Uriel Ultim
World Of Tanks (eu): Ultimuh
War Thunder: Ultimuh
FFXIV A REALM REBORN: Uriel Ultim (Cereberus) Kurinrin Krillinlin (Leviathan)

Thormgrim

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2014, 05:55:54 pm »

(a haiku)

Deep beneath the earth
Magma and stone, greed and steel
neurotic drunks die
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tahujdt

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2014, 07:41:15 pm »

There once was a fat midget drunkard,
whose house was a hole where he hunker'd.
One day (in a flash)
he was transformed to ash
'cause a large magma pipe he had punctured.
Logged
DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

tahujdt

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2014, 09:17:13 pm »

Down deep where the dwarves never go,
a monstrosity paced to and fro.
A Forgotten Beast!
Expecting a feast,
he was struck down. (he was made of snow.)
Logged
DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

TheDarkStar

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Re: Ode(s) to Urist
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2014, 10:59:50 pm »

A hauler walked across the mound
As the miner removed the ground
The hauler fell through
And blew to bits too
His ghost then haunted the compound

This is a great thread.
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now
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