I got bored. So enjoy a lore much needed comedic insertion into the Steelhold Duo: Whom's Whom: Demongate Edition: Revelations by Vladimir Uristovitch, esq.
EDIT: 'while you were typing this post, 6 new replies have been posted'. Ok thread.
Antonym Barkov
Vhen Vlad heard about Antonym, I assumed he was good ol' boy from back home! Vlad was right, except Antonym is from very posh clan! Vhy he is in Demongate boils down to his daddy tellingk him to go get real job. Enjoys glorious family history. Dislikes being tripped, reminded that Demongate is both on top and next door to hell.
Brenzen the Bold, Sir
Sir Brenzen is funny dwarf! Much honor, much concern with righteousness. Commander of Demongate militia and member of the Knights of Saint Zane. Enjoys righteousness, honor, being better than you, frequently cleaned latrines. Dislikes Vlad, happiness, and how the stick chafes in his rectum, yes?
Cornelius, Brother
Cornelius is best monk! Cornelius makes religion tolerable by, like your author, attending services so drunk on local piss 'beer' that inhaling near him cures alcohol deprivation, and is member of old, dead monastery. Enjoys alcohol, research. Dislikes immediately post-alcohol, trying to decipher research notes made while still drunk.
Dantheman
Dantheman is dwarf who goes huntingk monsters, which is all Vlad knows he likes. Dantheman dislikes being questioned as to vhy someone would be so thick as to purposefully be fighting monsters and shortages of ammunition, because he is sissy man vho is afraid of getting a little bloodsplattered, methinks. Or just smart man.
FractalEntity
Holy shit, Vlad does not even know. Vlad does not intend to know. Vlad knows crazy when I seen it, and even if I did not it keeps looking at Vlad funny. Slightly funnier than it looks at everyone. Likes being called the Crazy One, but ve know it is called Fractal, oh yes.
Gnora
Gnora is farmgirl vho once had a stick shoved up her behind, presumably by same man who did it to Brenzen. But Gnora is not funny dwarf! Gnora spits in Vlad's food and is upset by everythingk. Enjoys plants, cooking, brewing weak foreign piss that is passed off as beer. Dislikes Vlad, hunters, fishers, traders who bring food, good alcohol.
Lokast
Vlad is told Lokast is fancy scribe. Vlad does not really know anything about Lokast, because I cannot read and Lokast lacks tongue. Is good listener though. Enjoys humorous gesturing towards door of office! Dislikes karaoke night.
TalonisWolf
Vlad knows crazy when Vlad sees it. Fortunately Talonis had good kind of crazy, beingk fighty an knowingk how to stick of for himself with people who think they better than you. Enjoys dogs. Dislikes people who think they better than you, drunk people mistaking shrine for pisser.
Tarmid
Tarmid is scribe from order of St. Zane. Apparently only knights require backbone extension inserted into rear end, as Tarmid, vhile not able to enjoy life, does not try to stop Vlad from doingk so. Enjoys being a lackey for Brenzen. Dislikes taking own initiative, boots to clean to require the licking, yes?
Thanatos
Thanatos is fighty, which Vlad likes! But Thanatos is so stoic it is surpise masons have not accidentally made Thanatos into humorous novelty throne for dining room! Enjoys nothing, as is too serious. Dislikes it when Vlad talks about Vlads mother.
Thane
Thane makes weapons and armor for fort, and is responsible for good start! Is pretty, honest and spunky. If Vlad catches you makingk the moves on Thane, I vill be cuttingk you. Enjoys Vlad, forging, people who accept simple realities. Dislikes nobs, considerations of personal safety, Vlad cuttingk people.
Vladimir Uristovitch
Yes, is Vlad. Vlad is militia member. If you know vhere to find decent booze, tell Vlad right away. Vlad vill be gettingk you nice new pair of boots.
Author
Topic: Demongate: Wrapping up the Loose Ends. (Read 670900 times)