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[darkpaladin109]

Accept the guard's offer!
When we reach the pond, stay hidden and leave the meat in a place that they will find easily. We then have our guard friend (possibly ourself) finish off the rest who weren't poisoned.

+1

+1

+1, take a horse rather than the motorcycle so we'll have plenty of fuel in case we need to flee.

+1

[cerapa]

You accept the offer of the guard. [Follower gained: Guard]. He promises to not let you down, and that it's an honour to serve you. You realize that it might be best for his health if you actually knew his name, but alas, what godlike entities are there, that could give this man a name?

Before you go, you ask for a horse. It is given to you with the condition that if you break it, you buy it. You managed to get the most assholeish horse imaginable. Your attempts to mount fail at every turn, until it finally gives you a nasty kick to the face. You then decide to just keep it around as a companion. [Follower gained: Asshole, the Horse]

You stealthily make your way to the pond. As you approach, you hear odd sounds of howling. Around the pond lie four sleeping humans, two stoned looking wolves, and a totally badass alpha wolf, who is naturally also stoned. You estimate that the wolves don't give the least bit of a shit about anything at the moment. Which is proven correct when your horse strolls among them before kicking the alpha wolf in the face, which causes it to roll into the water. Sadly it becomes more alert because of it, and notices you and your tasty royal meat and charges towards you. Luckily you remember that you were carrying the moldy meat around, and throw it in its face before it reaches you. Being too stoned to notice that the meat is bad, the wolf consumes it and falls over, dead.

The commotion awakens the rest of the party. Plus of course, the fact that your horse pretty much kicked everyone in the face while you were staring at the big wolf. The ensuing fight is best described as a mix between drunken dancing and a flailing squid. If this brought up any mental images that would accurately describe a fight, then I have failed in my mission. When all is done, you have taken a few nasty punches from the humans and stabbed one in the heart, the horse pretty much kicked both the wolves to death but also got bit, and the guard subdued the three other humans, by which I mean killed them. With a sword.

You now have two followers. You have subdued a group of werewolves, even if they were stoned as all hell. And you have completed a quest! You are feeling downright Regal today! [+2 Regality]

What do you do next? Return to the town with news of success? Pick a few mushrooms? Attempt to mount Asshole, the Horse?


Arthur, Rightful King

Health
</////>

Piety
<//////////>

Regality
<//////////>

Motorcycle Fuel
</////>

Inventory:
Awesome crown (+2 effective Regality)
Arcane Motorcycle (Added Motorcycle Fuel)
Moldy meat (Poisonous)
Guardsmans sword (Stabby, stabby +1)

Followers:
Guard (+1 Stabby, Guard, Sentient Person)
Asshole the Horse (+10 Asshole, +2 FaceKick, Horse, ?)

[Lyeos]

Gah.... Kill the horse... It was bitten, and we don't know how that will affect it in this universe. Also examine, but don't pick, the shrooms.

Edit: Actually... Recall how being bitten affects horses in this world. If it doesn't do anything, keep it.

[Prophet]

Gah.... Kill the horse... It was bitten, and we don't know how that will affect it in this universe. Also examine, but don't pick, the shrooms.

+1

[~Neri]

Gah.... Kill the horse... It was bitten, and we don't know how that will affect it in this universe. Also examine, but don't pick, the shrooms.

Edit: Actually... Recall how being bitten affects horses in this world. If it doesn't do anything, keep it.

+1, pick mushrooms, head back to town. Also chop off the werewolves heads so we can have proof.

[Lyeos]

+1, pick mushrooms, head back to town. Also chop off the werewolves heads so we can have proof.

But what if, for some reason, these shrooms will kill us if we touch them? Or, you know, are actually disguised monsters? It could happen!

[~Neri]

Just don't put them in our mouth.

[Harbingerjm]

-1 to killing the horse, better the town's horse problem than our financial problem.
Besides, given what it did to those two wolves it would probably be less threatening as a werewolf.

[NRDL]

Gah.... Kill the horse... It was bitten, and we don't know how that will affect it in this universe. Also examine, but don't pick, the shrooms.

Edit: Actually... Recall how being bitten affects horses in this world. If it doesn't do anything, keep it.

+1, pick mushrooms, head back to town. Also chop off the werewolves heads so we can have proof.

+1

[cerapa]

You cannot quite recall what happens when a horse is bitten by a stoned mushroom. It is one of the great mysteries in life together with "What happens when a dragon pukes?" and "Why is one of the moons a giant egg?". You consider killing the horse for a second, but reconsider when the horse kicks you in the face.

Instead you decide to chop off the werewolves heads in a macabre display to prove what you did. One would presume that being covered in blood would be enough proof, but you never know what those zany peasants might want. The guard helps you at the chopping. The horse spends his time by kicking a tree. You feel like it's practising its kicking, which makes you very uncomfortable. The horse notices this, and proceeds to knock the tree completely over.

After the chopping is done, you decide to collect some magic mushrooms. They might not seem very magical at the moment, but I assure you, the more you consume, the more magical everything will be. Especially your hands, dude, have you ever looked at them. Sadly picking them doesn't have any effects beyond filling up your pockets. You were kinda hoping for a tiny mushroom sized monster or something.'

You then proceed to the village. A few people were waiting for you to return. They seem a bit impressed by the fact that you slew the wolves all by yourself with two companions. They call over the village elder. He is a very old man. A very very old man. So old his wrinkles have wrinkles old. "It seems our king has returned! What is it you want from our village?"

Your Reputation in the village is now "True King", meaning that all your regality rolls on locals are automatic wins. You doubt this reputation will spread to other villages by itself. You gain +1 Regality too.

What do you ask from the village, now that they accept you as ruler?


Arthur, Rightful King

Health
</////>

Piety
<//////////>

Regality
<//////////>

Motorcycle Fuel
</////>

Inventory:
Awesome crown (+2 effective Regality)
Arcane Motorcycle (Added Motorcycle Fuel)
Moldy meat (Poisonous)
Guardsmans sword (Stabby, stabby +1)
Magic Mushrooms (+1 MaGIc)

Followers:
Guard (+1 Stabby, Guard, Sentient Person)
Asshole the Horse (+10 Asshole, +2 FaceKick, Horse, ?)

[Lyeos]

Leather belt of spanking +1

Also ask if they need any help with other things?

[Worldmaster27]

Ask for their taxes, and another guard buddy.

[cerapa]

Would prefer a few more suggestions/votes before doing the next update.

And don't forget that you do have a quest you should be pursuing in some fashion. One cannot rule without fish. I assume. I admit I'm not a king, but I assume fish are important at some point in the rulership process.

[ShadowHammer]

Ask for their taxes, and another guard buddy.

We're probably going to incite rebellion by doing so, but +1 anyway.

[NRDL]

Leather belt of spanking +1

Also ask if they need any help with other things?

+1