Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: A Visit from the Elves  (Read 5340 times)

knaveightt

  • Bay Watcher
  • "Safe Gambler"
    • View Profile
A Visit from the Elves
« on: May 09, 2014, 03:55:47 pm »

A Visit from the Elves

Twas the first day of Granite, and all through the fortress,
the stockpiles were full of all things that were dwarvish.
The bin-fulls of crafts freshly gemmed with great care,
would be traded to elvish kind, soon to be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of plump helmets danc'd in their heads.
Some dwarves were still sleeping, all sporting silk socks
in bedrooms engraved with dark dolomite blocks.

But when I heard wagon wheel, carving out tracks,
I sprang from my bed with my trusty pickaxe.
Away to the trade depot, unloading a lot,
I stalked the elf traders to see what they brought.

The brokers came buzzing around the new objects,
appraising the good stuff and checking for defects.
When, what to my wondering eyes should behold,
an artifact sword made entirely of gold!

The blade was engraved- a Beak Dog with gold tail,
and hilt-wise it 'menaces with spikes of pure shale'.
More rapid then goblins, the brokers they came,
and whistled, and shouted, and call'd it by name:

"Praise be this artifact, found with the elves!
It's name shall be Stalkedwhipped, the Tormenting Hells!"
"You leave this with us, depart from our hall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

The elves took unkindly to the greed of the dwarves,
they halted all trade and made ready their horse,
and started back toward the large hole they came through,
with all their goods packed... and the artifact too.

But then with a squeaking, I heard from up high,
a floodgate had opened from a vault in the sky.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
down came the lava to fry all the ground.

The elves cooked in magma, right down to their feet,
The trade-able goods all caught fire from the heat.
A bundle of toys was flung into the fire,
knocked over a barrel with blazing attire!

The artifact scalded! but oh how it twinkled!
In lava, it twisted! In magma, it wrinkled!
The scorching hot liquid made way through the fort,
There's no going back, there's no last resort.

In bedroom, in workshop, where dwarf life would thrive,
The lava would conquer, no one would survive.
And then it went BLACK. All things were gone.
The eternal night had finally dawned...

A tiny, quick message the blackness demanded,
Your fortress is over, your settlement abandoned...
My friend turned around once or twice in his chair,
a smile on his face as he started to swear.

I said "I don't get it, you killed everyone?
You built this for weeks, and now you're just done?"
He laughed as he told me "It's rule number 1..."

When playing Dwarf Fortress... losing is fun.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 03:57:35 pm by knaveightt »
Logged

Enemy post

  • Bay Watcher
  • Modder/GM
    • View Profile
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2014, 04:37:06 pm »

This is a masterwork post. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. Engraved in it is images of dwarves and elves. The image relates to the destruction of the fortress by dwarves in 1050. It menaces with rings of poetry.
Logged
My mods and forum games.
Enemy post has claimed the title of Dragonsong the Harmonic of Melodious Exaltion!

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2014, 05:54:55 pm »

Quote
and made ready their horse
For some reason it bothers me that they weren't tigers or yaks, the true killers of the battlefield.

smjjames

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2014, 06:27:02 pm »

Quote
and made ready their horse
For some reason it bothers me that they weren't tigers or yaks, the true killers of the battlefield.

Yaks? How about cape buffalo? Or maybe muskoxen.
Logged

Mr S

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2014, 06:35:21 pm »

Honestly, I thought the OP had mentioned the horse because the only exotic creature that elves have yet to master is the wagon.
Logged

knaveightt

  • Bay Watcher
  • "Safe Gambler"
    • View Profile
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2014, 01:01:34 pm »

Honestly, I thought the OP had mentioned the horse because the only exotic creature that elves have yet to master is the wagon.

I just choked on soda.
Logged

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2014, 08:30:20 am »

Good poem by the way, before I neglect to mention.

Melting Sky

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: A Visit from the Elves
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2014, 12:37:52 pm »

In the world of dwarves
poised on the verge of searing flood,
it's always Christmas for the God of Blood.


 :D   This made my day. Truly you are a wordsmith of legendary skill.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2014, 12:40:04 pm by Melting Sky »
Logged