Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Poll

What style do you prefer?

Silly
- 21 (28.8%)
Grimdark, "war is hell"
- 24 (32.9%)
Romance (Note: not actually going to write this)
- 28 (38.4%)

Total Members Voted: 72


Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 24

Author Topic: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry: It's alive!  (Read 29339 times)

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #30 on: July 01, 2014, 01:41:12 pm »


Вы - Советская Ядерная Кавалерия: Ход первый




March, 3rd, 1943.
Your heart filled with tears from leaving your comrade, and your mouth full of bile from the ensuing Vodka-fuelled celebration, you make your way to a small field behind your positions. There, some officers are waiting for you next to a large, red-painted, lead-lined truck. As the leading officer address you (it's hard to count the stripes through the alcoholic haze, but he seems to have tons of them), the heavy truck rocks back and forth as whatever is inside kick against the sides.

"Comrades! On behalf of the Comrade Stalin, I want to thank you for your courageous sacrifice to the Motherland. Behind me, in this truck is the Secret Weapons that will destroy the Nazi War Machine and make the world Peaceful and Free of fascism and imperialism forever. Five of you have been personally handpicked by the Great Leader for this mission. The other will be sent to the Waitlistinyev gulag camp to protect the secret of the glorious Soviet Nuclear Cavalry.

Oleg Vasiliev (Helgoland), your interpretation of Grigori Panteleevich Melekhov in Dzerzhinsky "And Quiet Flows the Don" was masterful. Comrade Stalin himself decreed that you were more cosssacky that the Cossacks themselves, and as such you have been chosen to lead this squadron.

Grigori Ursine (BFEL), you fought bravely as part of the Soviet Bear Cavalry, proving to the world that the Glorious Soviet Union is free of the pesky racism and speciism that plague the capitalist regimes. To prove this point, you have been appointed Commissar of the Soviet Nuclear Cavalry. However, STAVKA request that you stop eating your comrades-in-arms.

Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz (SaberToothTiger), the Great Leader learned with sorrow that your seven brothers where all murdered by the fascists at Katyn. He appointed you to this suicide mission to finish the job He hopes you'll be able to avenge them as part of the Soviet Nuclear Cavalry.

Nikifor Sokoloff (USEC_OFFICER), while the Comrade Stalin was most certainly right to appoint a ballet dancer as unit leader and anyone suggesting otherwise if a petit-bourgeois capitalist traitor who just won a one-way ticket to Siberia, the military leadership feels that a more seasoned officer would be of great help to the Comrade Oleg Vassiliev as liaison between him and the military high command. And between him and his men. And between him and his horse if possible. This will be your task.

Tavish Finnegan DeGroot (smurfingtonthethrid), your are the living embodiment of the worldwide proletarian spirit fighting the Nazi beast. Your task will be crucial: our spies in America have discovered that the presence of a black man in a platoon significantly increase the lifespan of the rest of the platoon, or are least that what they learned in a secret government research center called "O-Li-Wood". Sadly, our glorious Motherland is white as the summer snow, so a Scotman will have to do.

Now men, this is the moment you have waited for so long: you'll get to meet and name your glorious steeds!


Spoiler: The Glorious Horses! (click to show/hide)

In addition to their bonus, every horse got special nuclear power I haven't made up yet you'll have to unlock.



In addition to you horse, you can each choose any weapon in the Soviet arsenal (choose a IRL historical weapon, I'll make up some stats.)


BTW, I didn't include a gender field in the sign-up sheet because a) I wasn't sure what the tone would be, and a realistic tone is best served with male (although there were women in the Red Army which leads me to the real reasons:) b) I forgot. If any of you want to change his gender, please do so.




Sorry for those that got stuck in the Waitlistnyev IPL. BFEL got in because he's a bear, Helgoland is just an alt of mine I route through a proxy in Bonn and SaberToothTiger was too eager to be left out. For the remaining two, I rolled a dice. Be sure that as soon as when one of them die, you'll get in. Or maybe sooner if I feel confident running more players.

P.S. Warning: before writing this post I drank a beer. Belgian beer. On a empty stomach. Which made me drunk enough that I was one keypress from sexting my internship supervisor rather than the girl I'm seeing at the moment. So please excuse incoherence, typo, rambling and general mess.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2014, 05:28:59 am by Sheb »
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

USEC_OFFICER

  • Bay Watcher
  • Pulls the strings and makes them ring.
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #31 on: July 01, 2014, 02:00:41 pm »

"Hello. It is a pleasure to be working with you all."

As the only straight man, Nikifor Sokoloff obviously takes the most boring options available. Namely the mule and a Mosin–Nagant M38 Carbine.
Logged

SaberToothTiger

  • Bay Watcher
  • Wannabe Shitposter
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #32 on: July 01, 2014, 02:09:40 pm »

((May I speak with the accent and generally be uncomprehensible?))

"Greetings Comrade! I'm proud to be fighting for the Revolution! I'm sure we will defeat the red German threat without difficulty!"

I'll take a SVT - 40 and a Vis wz.35 as a sidearm. And the Draft Horse.

« Last Edit: July 01, 2014, 02:19:34 pm by SaberToothTiger »
Logged
I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

Comrade P.

  • Bay Watcher
  • For space is wide and good friends are too few
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #33 on: July 01, 2014, 02:31:38 pm »

((Ahem, Sheb, copypaste the following translation of your topic name: Вы - Советская Ядерная Кавалерия: Ход первый. It's good for you.

EDIT: feel free to PM-punch me for translations, just in case. I'm watching this anyway.))
« Last Edit: July 01, 2014, 02:47:59 pm by Comrade P. »
Logged
Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

BFEL

  • Bay Watcher
  • Tail of a stinging scorpion scourge
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #34 on: July 01, 2014, 03:36:00 pm »

Commisar Ursine climbs aboard the Thouroughbred, for maximum "getting in clawing range" ability. He names his steed "Claw Marx" in honor of the Glorious founder of Bear Communism.

He also checks the armory for bear supported weapons, preferably of the shoulder mounted gatling variety.
((Changed because of discussion about rocket launchers, and there are already dudes doing the explosives thing.))

((Ahem, Sheb, copypaste the following translation of your topic name: Вы - Советская Ядерная Кавалерия: Ход первый. It's good for you.

EDIT: feel free to PM-punch me for translations, just in case. I'm watching this anyway.))
((I briefly considered running all my actions through Google Translate from English to Russian, then have Sheb run it back through English just to simulate the language barrier, but that would be hard on Sheb :P))
« Last Edit: July 01, 2014, 06:29:47 pm by BFEL »
Logged
7/10 Has much more memorable sigs but casts them to the realm of sigtexts.

Indeed, I do this.

Comrade P.

  • Bay Watcher
  • For space is wide and good friends are too few
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #35 on: July 01, 2014, 04:04:01 pm »

((Definitely, BFEL. Though hilarity level would increase dramatically.))
Logged
Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

smurfingtonthethird

  • Bay Watcher
  • Legendary Shitposter
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #36 on: July 01, 2014, 04:08:11 pm »

Find a grenade launcher (or at least something that shoots explosions) and copy everyone else, hopping on the warhorse.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2014, 09:15:16 pm by smurfingtonthethird »
Logged
RIP Moot ;-;7 Sigtext!

TamerVirus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Who cares
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #37 on: July 01, 2014, 04:13:59 pm »

>black Scottish Cyclopes
>in over PURE SOVIET HEAVY WEAPONS GUY
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
What can mysteriously disappear can mysteriously reappear
*Shakes fist at TamerVirus*

darkpaladin109

  • Bay Watcher
  • has no intention of returning here
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #38 on: July 01, 2014, 04:19:48 pm »

>black Scottish Cyclopes
>in over PURE SOVIET HEAVY WEAPONS GUY
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
((Pssh, both of those are completely and utterly unoriginal.))
Logged

smurfingtonthethird

  • Bay Watcher
  • Legendary Shitposter
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #39 on: July 01, 2014, 04:23:26 pm »

((More explosions makes more win. Especially since he'll be drunk 24/7 and he won't know a word of Russian, he's just following the booze train.

Screw originality, I have web pages dedicated to cataloging taunts I can use on the Nazis.))
Logged
RIP Moot ;-;7 Sigtext!

Comrade P.

  • Bay Watcher
  • For space is wide and good friends are too few
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #40 on: July 01, 2014, 04:26:04 pm »

Find a grenade launcher (or at least something that shoots explosions) and hop on the warhorse.

((I think this Diakonov's Grenade Launcher (attached to Mosin-Nagant's muzzle) is the best thing you'll find.))
Logged
Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Aseaheru

  • Bay Watcher
  • Cursed by the Elves with a title.
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #41 on: July 01, 2014, 04:38:10 pm »

((That just looks like a rifle grenade...))
Logged
Highly Opinionated Fool
Warning, nearly incapable of expressing tone in text

Comrade P.

  • Bay Watcher
  • For space is wide and good friends are too few
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #42 on: July 01, 2014, 04:39:11 pm »

((That just looks like a rifle grenade...))

((Well, it is.))
Logged
Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Aseaheru

  • Bay Watcher
  • Cursed by the Elves with a title.
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #43 on: July 01, 2014, 04:51:21 pm »

((Not really a grenade launcher, is it then? Well, it it, but it is also a rifle...
When was the RPG-1 developed?
For that matter, when did russia get bazookas?))
Logged
Highly Opinionated Fool
Warning, nearly incapable of expressing tone in text

Persus13

  • Bay Watcher
  • 6th King of the Mafia
    • View Profile
Re: You Are Soviet Nuclear Cavalry
« Reply #44 on: July 01, 2014, 04:56:13 pm »

((Not really a grenade launcher, is it then? Well, it it, but it is also a rifle...
When was the RPG-1 developed?
For that matter, when did russia get bazookas?))
RPG-2 was first used in 1949. So, then.
Logged
Congratulations Persus, now you are forced to have the same personal text for an entire year!
Longbowmen horsearcher doomstacks that suffer no attrition and can navigate all major rivers without ships.
Sigtext
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 24