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Author Topic: Best DF2014 conversations  (Read 26653 times)

klefenz

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #45 on: July 09, 2014, 07:08:57 pm »

Wrestler: Hello [my name], lets not hurt anybody
Me: It is good to see you. Long live the cause!
Wrestler: Murderer!

One of the guards from my palace a couple days after I took over. At least this time he didnt spit.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2014, 07:11:15 pm by klefenz »
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ShoesandHats

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #46 on: July 09, 2014, 09:35:29 pm »

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Enemy post

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #47 on: July 09, 2014, 11:44:01 pm »

You must yield!
You first coward! (sprints into the sunset)
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Arcvasti

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #48 on: July 09, 2014, 11:50:53 pm »

PTW
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Azrayel

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #49 on: July 10, 2014, 12:31:30 am »

PTW; too goot.
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Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #50 on: July 10, 2014, 12:40:19 am »

My buddy the dwarven paladin. "Let's not hurt anyone" - immediately crushes a guy's skull, then lays over the body for five real time minutes. I can only assume he was praying for them.
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TheCritsyBear

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #51 on: July 10, 2014, 06:44:48 am »

So there I was, travelling to a nearby trade hub to buy myself a backpack, as wanderers apparently set out to adventure completely naked with nothing but a knife and a pointy stick.

But then, suddenly, on the road, I was "Ambush!"ed. I looked around... Nobody. Then a gray L appeared out of thin air, and proceeded to meander around, completely docile.

"Greetings, I am Human McWanderer."
No response.
*Generic Weather comment.*
No response.
"Why are you travelling?"
I then looked at him as he continued to refuse to make small talk with me... It turns out he was a "Giant Lion Recruit."
"Is something troubling you?" I asked the lion.
Then he started walking away, and as soon as I took a step to follow him, the DF died.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2014, 06:54:51 am by TheCritsyBear »
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Awessum Possum

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #52 on: July 10, 2014, 10:45:23 am »

Please note that the goblin and axedwarf are my companions, who were friendly when I recruited them.

The goblin axeman slashes the kea in the right foot with his +bronze halberd+ and the part explodes into gore!
The kea is propelled away by the force of the blow!
Urist McPsycho 1: This is my fight too!
1: I cannot stand idly by!
The kea looks sick
1: I shall take revenge!
the axedwarf strikes at the goblin axeman but the shot is blocked!
The goblin axeman strikes the axedwarf in the right upper leg, tearing the fat!
The axedwarf punches you but misses

The goblin proceeded to kill the dwarf and exult in his victory, meanwhile my adventurer started crying.
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because everyone here is OCD and ADHD, and then complain when their dwarfs act similarly in game.
@I used to be an axelord like you, until I took a (+bronze bolt+) to the upper leg, chipping the bone through the *copper leggings*!@

XArgon

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #53 on: July 10, 2014, 01:55:29 pm »

Ooh, my... 40.01 is such wonderful comedy fuel. :D

Also,
"That is an excellent question, Ugo, I thought you would never ask. It's time I told you about the night horrors that plague this land."
great story, Kamamura! :)

Other than that... greeting someone, just to take a crossbow bolt in the face instead of a response? Yep, been there. (it is terrifying).

PS: Also, "It is terrifying" should definitely be the unofficial name of 40.01. Not as contempt, no - it's just too hilarious how memetic this phrase is. :D
« Last Edit: July 10, 2014, 02:17:40 pm by XArgon »
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monk12

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #54 on: July 10, 2014, 02:13:53 pm »

It was inevitable.
Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #55 on: July 10, 2014, 03:57:27 pm »

This kid...

Code: [Select]
You: How have things been?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
You: This must be stopped by any means at our disposal.
You: Tell me about the local ruler.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: The Council of Owners rules Lyricfin.  Lurit Bedstuck the Mellow Cavern of Pastimes is lord.  I don't know anything else about them.
You: Does anybody else still have a stake in these lands?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: There are no fewer than eleven other groups vying for control.
Beso Otngelide, Child: Hello Lurit.  Let's not hurt anybody.
You: Hello.  It is good to see you.  This servant of Tura Primereins greets you.
The Child spits!
The flying Beso Yawnedsounds's human spit misses You!
Beso Otngelide, Child: Murderer!
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): Hello Tirin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): Hey.  It is good to see you.
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): It was inevitable.

(BTW: *I* am Lurit Bedstuck, and this kid watched me murder his whole family right in front of him. I tried to kidnap him, but he won't join me and I don't know if I can grab him by the wrist and just.... take him.)
« Last Edit: July 10, 2014, 03:59:01 pm by TheCoolSideofthePIllow »
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Archereon

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #56 on: July 10, 2014, 06:38:02 pm »

I assume he's the son/daughter of the rightful Lord/Lady of Lyricfin. If you're stealthy, you could potentially break one of his/her bones with wrestling, resulting in the kid passing out, then repeatedly throw him until the heir is in an isolated area. You should then do science on whether torturing people to get them to submit to your orders (in this case, presumably being installed as a figurehead while you go off and conquer other sites) works.
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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

Dante

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #57 on: July 10, 2014, 07:22:56 pm »

It was inevitable that I would PTW.

Archereon

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #58 on: July 10, 2014, 07:32:02 pm »

It IS inevitable that overusing this meme will turn it into "Arrow to the Knee": Dwarf Fortress Edition. That's what part of me thinks. The other part of me hopes that when gods of fate release demons from hell for reasons generally along the lines of "it was written", that there will eventually be multiple possible lines to describe the reasoning, one of which will be "because it was inevitable."
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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

klefenz

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Re: Best DF2014 conversations
« Reply #59 on: July 10, 2014, 07:34:42 pm »

This kid...

Code: [Select]
You: How have things been?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
You: This must be stopped by any means at our disposal.
You: Tell me about the local ruler.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: The Council of Owners rules Lyricfin.  Lurit Bedstuck the Mellow Cavern of Pastimes is lord.  I don't know anything else about them.
You: Does anybody else still have a stake in these lands?
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman: There are no fewer than eleven other groups vying for control.
Beso Otngelide, Child: Hello Lurit.  Let's not hurt anybody.
You: Hello.  It is good to see you.  This servant of Tura Primereins greets you.
The Child spits!
The flying Beso Yawnedsounds's human spit misses You!
Beso Otngelide, Child: Murderer!
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): Hello Tirin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): Hey.  It is good to see you.
Beso Otngelide, Child (to Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman): I hear that there is an insurrection against The Council of Owners in Lyricfin.
Tirin Sporrorith, Spearman (to Beso Otngelide, Child): It was inevitable.

(BTW: *I* am Lurit Bedstuck, and this kid watched me murder his whole family right in front of him. I tried to kidnap him, but he won't join me and I don't know if I can grab him by the wrist and just.... take him.)

When I read "Council of Owners" I thought it was too good for the RNG.
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