Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 12 13 [14] 15 16 17

Author Topic: The Poetry Thread  (Read 107903 times)

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
  • OKAY, FINE.
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #195 on: November 27, 2018, 10:04:16 pm »

Came up with these lines today, inspired by real events:
Quote
You're in my fucking way
I wish that you would die
All I want's some peace
In which to sit and eat my pie


Yes, it could use some polish (and I might be misremembering part of it), but I think it really captures the moment. :P   
Replace "some peace" with "a place" if so desired.   


Edit: expanded alternate version that nobody asked for:
Quote
You're in my fucking way, you bitch
Oh how I wish that you would die
All that I want's a place to sit
And eat this scrumptious mushroom pie
« Last Edit: November 27, 2018, 10:08:00 pm by Yoink »
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #196 on: November 28, 2018, 08:21:42 am »

Well that was poetry from the heart, Yoink ;)

Meanwhile, I bashed my head against a wall making a Pantoum.

I no longer know if it's comprehensible I've read over it so many times to see if it fits the form.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2020, 06:59:25 am by Th4DwArfY1 »
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

Tomasque

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gonna one-up FoU - with an FG in my personal text!
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #197 on: November 28, 2018, 04:18:32 pm »

Pantoums are amazing. Great job!
Logged
The quantum cannonball hits you in the face and misses!
Money!
GENERATION grisha5: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #198 on: November 28, 2018, 09:08:55 pm »

No lie, it hurt my head. To rest myself, a sonnet;
« Last Edit: November 03, 2020, 06:59:05 am by Th4DwArfY1 »
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #199 on: December 25, 2018, 05:42:55 pm »

I do enjoy writing the odd ramble-poem  ;)


When the curtain is hanging half-on-mast
I’ll know these sad but honest truths;
That in the past, my best was better
And that where the hallways echoed
Now they are silent. Silent. Silent.
Silent as the graves of those who trod them.

Is this coincidence?

Sweet Baldur of the Spring was slain
With mistletoe and trickery, his love
Poured through the ruby river of his youth
And though his body never saw the End
Nevertheless his fist was strong and grasped
As fast as moonbeams in the local lake
Unto ideals and bravery and honour.

Speak not of Baldur’s beauty, reader,
Do not mention how his cheeks were red
Nor how his hair was long and brown.
This did not make him better than the best.

The fires had yet to fade from Baldur’s pyre
‘Ere grief and pain took all creation.
Frigg wept for son laid low, and Hel saw with amaze
The dead a-weeping in their grey-hamed rows.
For mischief only would not weep
One thing in all creation.

When I am old, I will not say my beauty’s fled
Nor bring as memory the darts of years –
No! The world cares not and nor should I.
My best is in the past
And age has nothing to do with it.

The hallways no longer echo, friend.
None weep. I stretch into the greyness
And those whom I loved most are dead.

Would that Baldur could meet me in that place
So I may know if it is just me
Who misses Frigg and sees
Sees with the blind man’s desperate sight;

Creation would not weep were I to die
And heart has turned to ash.

Reader, my best will soon be in the past.
Mourn it, for I will never be done
Mourning its cause.
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

Tomasque

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gonna one-up FoU - with an FG in my personal text!
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #200 on: February 14, 2019, 11:50:21 am »

You're like cancer, but benign.
Will you be my valentine?

I am open to costructive criticism.
Logged
The quantum cannonball hits you in the face and misses!
Money!
GENERATION grisha5: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #201 on: February 14, 2019, 06:52:49 pm »

Benign... cancer. Have you thought of writing Valentine's cards? :P

I suppose I'll write a thematic one too. Why not.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2020, 07:00:33 am by Th4DwArfY1 »
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

birdy51

  • Bay Watcher
  • Always be Beeping
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #202 on: February 14, 2019, 08:36:17 pm »

I like! Excellent work dude.

I'm still no poet.
But sometimes, I can show it.
My haikus? Legit.
Logged
BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

Edmus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Powerful toasting since 1893!
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #203 on: February 15, 2019, 10:18:57 pm »

not so much romantic, but i do have a cheeky one i wrote a few months ago
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Logged

Tomasque

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gonna one-up FoU - with an FG in my personal text!
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #204 on: February 20, 2019, 02:12:32 am »

Benign... cancer. Have you thought of writing Valentine's cards? :P

I suppose I'll write a thematic one too. Why not.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
I will not. When we met, you whispered tales
Of storybooks and love's sweet cloistered way
Between the Cherubim and green-scent dales.
Rough winds may shake the darling buds of May
But rougher shake December's barren boughs
And so I found with you, who whispered 'stay'
Pretending oak-like vigilance and vows.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Or shall I capture in your smile the Frost
Of early January, which will away
Come months or seconds, days, years, weeks - all lost

For gazing, gazing, not at a spring-time summer's day
But captivated by the ice and thaw and terrible beauty
Of the Queen of Ice, perfect as the cyclone on a still-lit day.

Your imagery is very nice, and it makes the changing seasons in the poem all the more vivid. However, one line ("Come months or seconds, days, years, weeks - all lost") feels weird to read, because "years" is a word that is naturally stressed, but is in an unstressed slot in that meter. Except for that, though (and a little hiccup in having to pronounce "January" as "JAN-yur-EE"), your poem is a great read!

Here's something I just wrote. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet.

The present is the moment that was never meant to last:
It matters for a minute, then it just becomes the past.
My consciousness collects it, and I try to hold it fast,
But cannot keep forever still the little I've amassed.

Is there a better way I could handle punctuation here? That last line feels like it especially needs something, because the current phrasing makes it a little obtuse.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2019, 02:02:47 pm by Tomasque »
Logged
The quantum cannonball hits you in the face and misses!
Money!
GENERATION grisha5: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Tomasque

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gonna one-up FoU - with an FG in my personal text!
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #205 on: March 24, 2019, 10:40:31 pm »

Here's a duet bit I wrote for a non-existent musical. I'm a big fan of musicals, so I sometimes come up with these little vignettes. This one's between an accountant (George) and his assistant (John). The stress is a little awkward in parts, but it's meant to be in anapestic meter.

George: "You're the most inconsistent assistant I know."
John: "Never helps me to be."
George: "But you're just too indifferently different to grow."
John: "And it's all same to me."

I dunno. I've got a little bit more of this stuff, if you're interested.  :/
Logged
The quantum cannonball hits you in the face and misses!
Money!
GENERATION grisha5: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #206 on: March 26, 2019, 05:57:44 pm »

little hiccup in having to pronounce "January" as "JAN-yur-EE")
But that is how I pronounce it! Or, perhaps closer to JAN-yur-ee.

The present is the moment that was never meant to last:
It matters for a minute, then it just becomes the past.
My consciousness collects it, and I try to hold it fast,
But cannot keep forever still the little I've amassed.

Is there a better way I could handle punctuation here? That last line feels like it especially needs something, because the current phrasing makes it a little obtuse.
Hmm, yes. I'd suggest thinking about removing the first comma in the second from last line - it might improve flow and pacing. The last line needs rewording or at least restructuring. It's wordy and clunky. "But can't keep still forever what I have amassed" or something?

Here's a duet bit I wrote for a non-existent musical. I'm a big fan of musicals, so I sometimes come up with these little vignettes. This one's between an accountant (George) and his assistant (John). The stress is a little awkward in parts, but it's meant to be in anapestic meter.

George: "You're the most inconsistent assistant I know."
John: "Never helps me to be."
George: "But you're just too indifferently different to grow."
John: "And it's all same to me."

I dunno. I've got a little bit more of this stuff, if you're interested.  :/

Looks good! But it's a bit hard to form a full opinion on four lines :P
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

RoseHeart

  • Bay Watcher
  • Pale Blue Dot
    • View Profile
    • Portfolio
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #207 on: April 09, 2019, 03:34:24 pm »

I do not know, the ways of my ancestors.
I have forgotten the wolf, the bear, the snake.
How to dance across the stones upon the river, across the lake.
My feet are bound in a leatherbound embrace.
I am but a man of the present.
Logged
Hanlon's razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by a lack of knowledge or understanding. Maybe your own.
'No.' is a complete sentence. —Mary Kate & Ashley

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #208 on: May 09, 2019, 05:16:50 pm »

Bravo!
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
  • OKAY, FINE.
    • View Profile
Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #209 on: June 20, 2019, 09:53:41 pm »

Earlier I thought it would be nice to write a poem to try and rekindle a friend's interest in poetry, since she seemed somewhat disillusioned after her entry in a competition didn't claim a prize.
Then, as if on command, inspiration struck! Lines were spewing forth from my imagination like they haven't in a long time!

...Buuuut it wound up being a poem about her, so now it's classified information. Whoops.  :-\


 
I do not know, the ways of my ancestors.
I have forgotten the wolf, the bear, the snake.
How to dance across the stones upon the river, across the lake.
My feet are bound in a leatherbound embrace.
I am but a man of the present.
Hey I really like this! I'd probably swap out "leatherbound" for something less cumbersome, though.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.
Pages: 1 ... 12 13 [14] 15 16 17