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Author Topic: ROLL TO COW CHAPTER III: MONSTER COWS ON THE MOON  (Read 15176 times)

Elephant Parade

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #30 on: August 17, 2014, 08:05:29 pm »

Bump? :D
It's not even 6:30 where I live. I was on a road trip. Please bump responsibly.

Call a friend
(2)YOU LACK A CELL PHONE

Purchase private Cow-Jet. Also pilot.
(4)SUCCESS

OTHER COWS ARE ENVIOUS OF YOUR SWEET PLANE

Crash into shit with car
(3)YOU DRIVE THROUGH SOME BUSHES

THE CAR IS SCRATCHED UP, BUT MOSTLY UNHARMED

Have weird cow-o-human babies with them!
(EW)NO.

Walk to a noise and stare at it. Moo threateningly.
(3)YOU HEAR SOME TREES RUSTLING AT THE WIND

YOU MOO AT THEM

THEY IGNORES YOU


Cow pie those cops.
(4)YOU THROW SOME PIES AT THE COPS

DIRECT HIT! THE COPS ARE SURPRISED!

Ask Lyeos in moos if I can go on his private jet. If he says yes or doesn't respond, chill on his plane. If the answer is no, continue mooing mournfullyn
(6)YOU GET ON HIS PLANE

YOU DECIDE THAT FLYING AROUND FOR A BIT WOULDN'T CAUSE MUCH HARM, RIGHT?

OOPS, YOU CRASHED THE PLANE

REVEAL MYSELF TO ACTUALLY BE A SCIZOR FROM POKEMON
(1)NO. YOU'RE A COW. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A POKEMON IS.

>Apologize to dead human.
Trot over and teabag the police with my bulging, over-filled udder. That'll teach 'em. Or confuse them greatly.
(4)THE POLICE ARE EXTREMELY CONFUSED

THEY'RE STARTING TO THINK THAT THE COWS ARE POSSESSED OR SOMETHING

Detonate violently.
(5)YOU BLOW UP THE BARN, KILLING COUNTLESS NPCS (NON-PLAYER COWS).

Jump over the fence!
(6)YOU JUMP TOO HIGH

WAY, WAY TOO HIGH

YOU LAND ON THE MOON.

[3]THE POLICE TRY TO CALL AN EXORCIST, BUT THEY GET HIS ANSWERING MACHINE

Spoiler: POLICE STATUS (click to show/hide)
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Chevaleresse

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #31 on: August 17, 2014, 08:06:54 pm »

Merge with corpses to become horrifc undead cow monster.
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GM of Trespassers V2.
I'm writing a science fantasy story. Mostly hiatused due to life stuff.
If you like my work, consider becoming a patron. (Since apparently people think this is a requirement: no, my game(s) are free to play and always will be.

SaberToothTiger

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #32 on: August 17, 2014, 08:08:14 pm »

Sing "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" while happily stepping out of the barn and to the nearest recruiting centre.

((Y U NO LET ME MAKE BABIES?))
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

Nidilap

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #33 on: August 17, 2014, 08:08:23 pm »

LEAD A CHARGE OF COWS AGAINST THE COPS!!! THEY MAY TAKE OUR FARM, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR BEEF!!!!
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

SaberToothTiger

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #34 on: August 17, 2014, 08:09:33 pm »

((We should recreate "Animal Farm".))
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

Paphi

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #35 on: August 17, 2014, 08:10:39 pm »

Train my sense of hearing to superbovine levels.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2014, 08:16:38 pm by Paphi »
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Coolrune206

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #36 on: August 17, 2014, 08:20:56 pm »

Fix plane, claim it as my own!
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Worldmaster27

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #37 on: August 17, 2014, 08:32:33 pm »

INVENT COW TECHNOLOGY, USING THE CORPSE OF THE DEAD FARMER.
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Lightningfalcon

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #38 on: August 17, 2014, 09:58:48 pm »

Look through stuff in police car.  Find information on nearest police station, then crash into said station
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Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum circo vincendarum
W-we just... wanted our...
Actually most of the people here explicitly wanted chaos and tragedy. So. Uh.

Furtuka

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #39 on: August 17, 2014, 10:06:42 pm »

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It's FEF, not FEOF

poketwo

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #40 on: August 18, 2014, 08:56:58 am »

BECOME THE COW EQUIVALENT TO FRANK HORRIGAN
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darkpaladin109

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #41 on: August 18, 2014, 08:59:19 am »

TAKE MASSIVE PILE OF SHIT
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Alev

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #42 on: August 18, 2014, 11:26:23 am »

EAT EVERYTHING
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Sarrak

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #43 on: August 18, 2014, 12:04:05 pm »

Build a great pyramid on the Moon surface. Who needs oxygen, btw?
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Science is always important. But it needs more flaming cats. Can't we build bridge-based catapults and fling flaming cats at the dust and goo?

It's time for the ATHATH Death Counter to increase once more in celebration for the end of the world.

Elephant Parade

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Re: ROLL TO COW
« Reply #44 on: August 20, 2014, 01:08:00 am »

Merge with corpses to become horrifc undead cow monster.
(4)SUCCESS

YOU HUNGER FOR GRASS

AND BRAINS, BUT MAINLY JUST GRASS

Sing "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" while happily stepping out of the barn and to the nearest recruiting centre.

((Y U NO LET ME MAKE BABIES?))
(5)YOU ARRIVE AT AN ANIMAL TRAINING CENTRE

THEY'RE CURRENTLY WORKING ON A PROJECT TO TRAIN COWS AS ASSASSINS

LEAD A CHARGE OF COWS AGAINST THE COPS!!! THEY MAY TAKE OUR FARM, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR BEEF!!!!
(1)THE OTHER COWS BETRAY YOU IN EXCHANGE FOR GRASS

YOU ARE ARRESTED

Train my sense of hearing to superbovine levels.
(5)YOU CAN HEAR EVERYTHING IN THE COUNTRY

Fix plane, claim it as my own!
(6)YOU ARE ARRESTED FOR THEFT

INVENT COW TECHNOLOGY, USING THE CORPSE OF THE DEAD FARMER.
(2)INVENTING TECHNOLOGY IS DIFFICULT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THUMBS

Be the great cow guru. Pack an Uzi
(3)YOU'RE A SOMEWHAT SMART COW WITH A PISTOL

BECOME THE COW EQUIVALENT TO FRANK HORRIGAN
(4)OKAY?

I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS

TAKE MASSIVE PILE OF SHIT
(EW)NO.

EAT EVERYTHING
(6)YOU DEVOUR THE ENTIRE PLANET

EVERYONE IS REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT THE SUDDEN LACK OF SUNLIGHT

CHAPTER I HAS ENDED

Build a great pyramid on the Moon surface. Who needs oxygen, btw?
(6)YOU BUILD A MASSIVE PYRAMID, BUT IT TAKES UP ALL THE ELECTRICITY THAT WAS POWERING THE OXYGEN GENERATORS

(YOU NEED OXYGEN, BY THE WAY)

YOU DIE.
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