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Author Topic: The Hastening of Doomforests  (Read 432296 times)

mate888

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1860 on: November 29, 2015, 02:22:02 pm »

I cranked the priority up to realtime and it still goes on 4 or 5 fps.

Journal of Mate the 888th, Overseer/Heresy relinquisher of Doomforests
That heretic Edem decided to stop levitating and go trade with the elves. He's good at his job, I'll give him that, and if the elves do something stupid, we have three ballistas pointing at their direction.
Good luck, Ede-- OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
YOU WERE TWO METERS FROM THE FUCKING ELVES BEFORE YOU DECIDED THAT YOU WERE HUNGRY YOU--
Don't try my patience, Edem, because I will execute you if you do, both for being a heretic and an asshole.
At least the elves did not leave because of that. We have to be more cautious if we want to get mony from trade. Try not to offend the el--
...I say, as D3 comes over and vomits all over the depot...
Fuck.

((Aaaaaaaand the computer died. I'll keep playing later today))
« Last Edit: November 29, 2015, 05:51:48 pm by mate888 »
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

Drazoth

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1861 on: November 29, 2015, 02:47:54 pm »

What processor does your computer have mate888, for reference, I have an i7.
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mate888

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1862 on: November 29, 2015, 03:17:11 pm »

What processor does your computer have mate888, for reference, I have an i7.
I don't know, but maybe it's because I'm in a crappy laptop.
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

Drazoth

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1863 on: November 29, 2015, 03:54:26 pm »

That might be it. Think you'll be able to play your whole turn?
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Drazoth

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1864 on: November 29, 2015, 04:47:56 pm »

Don Pedro was the first of the others to enter the room.

“Why are there 4 chairs here?” He asked, “If I knew you would bring lackeys, I would have brought some of my own”

“Only one is a lackey," D3 replied, “His purpose will be to report on a threat he has been studying.”

“I heard that sir,” Hans said as he entered the room with a small stack of papers.

“His word, not mine,” D3 said, “Is Dark Two with you?”

“He will be arriving momentarily, sir.”

“‘Lackey’ is an accurate one, I do presume, if you collect intel for him. Don Pedro, by the way, nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine sir.” Hans replied.

“Please have a seat while we wait for Two’s arrival, he needs to hear this too.” D3 said.

With that Don Pedro sat down in the chair facing the door while Hans took the opposite one. D3 took a swig of rum just before Dark Two entered.

“Have I missed anything?” he said as he took the final empty seat.

“No, we were waiting for you,” D3 replied.

“Morning, Lord Clan Master,” Don Pedro said, scoffing slightly.

“Good morning Don,” Two replied calmly.

“Now that we are all here, Hans, would you care to report on your findings for us?” D3 asked.

“Of course, sir. I have done some preliminary examinations of the fortress and have found that there may be more to the foul magicks than we originally expected.” Hans replied.

“Don’t mind me, I am completely friendly…” Don Pedro said.

“We know that,” D3 said glancing at Don, “Continue.”

“Over the years the magicks that have been gathering here have seeped into the very rock itself,” Hans said as he passed around some pages, “I have found that, in some places, they seem to have softened the rock.”

“What?” Two interjected.

“I’m not sure if the masons will be happy or horrified by that,” D3 commented.

“Probably both,” Don replied, “But I will get to that in time, please, go on.”

“From what I can tell the magicks have been warping the very fabric of reality around and within DoomFortests,” Hans said, “It is what I believe caused the recent temporal reset.”

“Please, elaborate on this temporal issue.” D3 said.

“I originally arrived on the 28th of Malachite last year, however, as I’m sure you all know, I arrived on the 27th of Slate instead. I have lived out the year 1069 twice.”

“Most odd. Don Pedro, what do you know of this?” D3 asked.

“I know it is not our doing,” Don replied, “But I wish to address that at the end of the meeting. All I can say is that Regenreich is finally starting to take this place seriously, partly due to my requests, and partly because of how…um…unusual this place is.”

“Unusual? How?” D3 said, “Aside from the obvious.”

“All in due time,” Don said, “All in due time…Let the honourable gentleman finish his report first.”

“Very well. You may continue Hans.”

“Thank you,” Hans replied, “I believe the magicks may have played a part in the number of Forgotten Beasts that have appeared over the years as well as the recent occurrence with the levitating dwarf. I believe it may have also contributed to the 'heresy battle' that ensued. What I ask is that you do your own examinations while I complete mine. We need to know the extent of what is going on here.”

“Very well then. Once we have figured this out, we need to deal with this issue.  I assume we have the cooperation the Regenriech in this?” D3 asked.

“Yes and No. You have my cooperation. I have cooperation of Regenreich,” Don said, “I discussed this with the Clan master some time ago.”

“Good enough for our purposes I suppose.” D3 said.

“I will do what I can,” was Two’s simple reply.

“One more thing,” Hans said, “We should prepare an escape plan. We do not know when or even if the rock around us will collapse but it is best that we not take any chances.”

“I had a tunnel dug out years ago for that purpose.  I will check to make sure it is still there,” D3 said, “I will make certain to reinforce it if it is still intact.”

“Correction: you need an escape plan. And I already have some... starts in that department, but once again, at the end,” Don said.

“Now, on to the next matter,” D3 said, “I have done my best to provide the requested materials to you during my reign.  What exactly do you intend to do it them?”

“Well, I suppose I owe you that much... consider it the prize for winning that round of the Game...” Don said, “Devilish code by the way, truly evil, if I may say so... I intend to bring stability to this place, by any means necessary. Those materials will provide a foundation for said stability. After that is done I shall withdraw from this place and let mortals do as mortals will...”

“I hope your planned stability will help with the other problems,” D3 said, “By the way, what do you mean by stability?”

Don Pedro chuckled slightly before saying, “Sustainability, safety for citizens and guests, economic and cultural progress... I could throw more buzzwords that Sales Department would use but I will be honest with you. We want this place to support dwarves, and have them be alive and happy, as long as it is possible. That means giving you the means to defend yourselves, without our further involvement, from whatever threatens your lives.”

“Very well then,” D3 replied, “Now I think it was time you were enlightened at to my plans. Tell me, Don Pedro, do you agree that it is wasteful for dwarves to war with each other over petty differences?”

“It is a loaded question, my friend, and my answer is even more loaded. I have walked a thousand worlds. Seen potential of millions of sapient races. Most of them destroyed by their own hubris. But I have also seen what happens when absolute order is implemented, where no dispute is had, for all is the same,” Don said, “And trust me, you do not wish to see it.”

“That is not my goal.  My goal is for a unified dwarven race.”

“Noble idea, but the line is thin,” Don replied, “If you wish I will talk with you later about this... although I would rather discuss it with your Mom”

“We don't seek to dominate the world.  That just seems like entirely too much trouble to be worth it,” D3 said, “We shall discuss this later. For now all you need to know is this, we don't intend to end all conflict, merely find a way to resolve it in a less wasteful manner.”

“Good,” Don said, “Now I have a few things to say, if nobody minds.”

“Go on.”

“As I said Regenreich has increased the priority of this project,” Don continued, “Once I get the Rutile Hat we will be put into a special state that is going to be more or less beneficial for duration, but may cause some... discomfort and confusion akin to what Hans has experienced. I assure you it is nothing to worry about, it is not harmful... unless you are one of our enemies that is. It will work more or less as if everything has slowed down, from water flow, to temperature, to even physical processes... apart from dwarves. That is all, I just wished to warn you, I’m not sure if there will be any possibility of it later...”

“Very well,” D3 replied, “So long as it does not harm the fortress.”

“Does the Clan Master have anything to say?” Don asked.

“Not right now,” Two said.

“Well then, if you’ll excuse me I have some paperwork to do,” Don said.

“Very well.  I believe we are done here,” D3 replied, “Actually, take this coin of yours back.”

“What for? I do not need it.”

“I have no need, and it's not so pretty for me to want it.”

“Give it to a random person then, I can make more on demand,” Don replied.

“Who would it be funny to give it to?  Also, Hans, don't wander off, I have an assignment for you."

“Of course sir.”

“Oh, I have an idea...” Don suggested, “How about our dear Inquisitor? I feel that he will be a major pain in my ethereal arse...That should confuse him a bit.”

“Sounds good.  If you need something from him, let me know.  I have certain strings I may be able to pull.....” D3 replied.

“I need him to stop being a theocrat,” Don said, “But I suppose that will not happen... Either way, good day.”

“Before you go,” Hans said, “If you ever wish to chat idly about mortals and their follies. I’m always up for a good laugh.”

Don Pedro simply nodded as he left the room, followed closely by Dark Two.

Hans then turned back to D3, “Now what is this assignment sir?”
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mate888

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1865 on: November 29, 2015, 05:57:08 pm »

That might be it. Think you'll be able to play your whole turn?
I think I will.
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

mate888

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1866 on: November 29, 2015, 08:29:29 pm »

Journal of Mate the 888th
Did you enjoy your gourmet meal, Edem? You didn't choke on it or anything?
How unfortunate...
Well, no go trade with the elves, I'll see on how to execute you how to prevent you from falling upwards later.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Meanwhile, in the caverns, the blob of vomit is stinging troglodytes in the head, making it collapse or melt or something with its poison.
Ew. I'll remind myself to never access that cavern.
Well, now back to trad--
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
THAT FUCKING BUZZARD! Dark Two was right! Those things are EVIL!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
THAT FUCKING BIRD IS EVERYWHERE OH GOD!
JUST KILL THAT THING FOR ARMOK'S SAKE!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
There we go!
Now GET BACK INTO TRADING, EDEM!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yes... Our most ethical works... I'm sure you'll love them... You don't sound upstart at all... Fuck you and everything you stand for.
Well, apparently Edem refuses to trade with the elves with the things that are on the depot. He insists in that we have absolutely nothing there, but the depot is filled to the brim with our shit. I mean, come on! The elves are savages! I'm sure they will like some dwarf nail rings made by goblins!
Oh, nevermind, we are trading now.
I'll just wait until we bring them the two hamster women we have as hostages. Elves like animalmen, right? I bet they'll accept them.
The only problem is, they are in wooden cages, and Armok forbids they go full tree-jihad on us now.
Okay, for now, I've decided to trade all the rings, bracalets and crowns made out of animal and dwarven hair and nails to the elves because, you know, they love this kind of attrocities, and all kind of attrocities in fact, as long as they are not made to trees. Hell, they even got exited when I offered them a dwarf nail ring for free.
Also, I have my eyes on some nice elven bow and arrows. They say they reach even further than a dwarven crossbow, and I would like to find out if that's true before they inevitably get offended at something either we or the slackers at the town of Stroking do and they decide to shoot us with said bows.
Also, I wouldn't mind to buy some of those nice elven silk clothes, they are nice.
Not that I know about clothes or fashion or anything like that... I don't. Shut up.

Oh Armok no...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
THE BUZZARDS ARE BACK AND THEY WANT TO AVANGE THEIR LOST ONE!
It's total chaos and confusion! One furnance operator tries to punch a buzzard while the other trips over himself, falls over Don Pedro and miss every hit to the buzzard!
That dwarf I probably should investigate but I'm too busy to do so, Don Pedro, is now under the combined force of an angry bird and a fat dwarf that charged at him for no real reason!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Luckily, our axelords are doing their best to kill the damned bird.
Allright, this all will end soon enough. Let's get back to the depot, shall we?
Also, I think one of our giant grey langurs went feral and is now beating the crap out of one of our hostage hamstermen.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Should I... Send in the army or something? I don't know if it will turn onto our dwarves, but it may happen and I don't want to risk it.
On the other hand, I remember stories of a fort that entered a civil war because of the militia attacking a pet. What was the fort called? LoyalCatarate? No, LoyaltyCascades? I don't know, but I think that that may happen here if I do that.
Oh, nevermind, it was a stray hamster woman, not one of the hostages. No reason to panic about it. I feel really stupid now...
Allright, the stuff I told the lads to be taken to the depot is not here, so Edem will have to trade with what we have alredy in the depot.
No, they don't want to give us anything unless we give them more. The bad thing is, all we have is wood and dwarf nails.
They... Won't get mad if I give them grown wood items, right? Maybe I buy less arrows?
There we go, another successful trading season. See you next year! Wankers.
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

Drazoth

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1867 on: November 30, 2015, 01:35:24 pm »

"Hans, your assignment is to return to MechaTechno territory and retrieve the remnants of the Dark One's body.  With minimal violence if possible."

"Right sir. Any suggestions?"

"Since neither of us are made of money, try stealing them.  Start investigating the crundle tribe known as 'The Seeing Eye'.  TechnoXan hinted in his letter that they may know something. "

"Crundles? Sir that seems a little...odd. I will try my best sir. Will there be anything else?"

"If you can find only one that should be enough for me to create a tracking spell.  With that, finding the rest should be trivial.  Also, keep an eye open for any more weird occurrences. I have an idea that may help us deal with this instability.  I'm going up to the surface for a walk."

"Be careful with that sir. It has been a while since you last did that."

"I will.  Before I forget, during our meeting with Don Pedro, you said 'If you ever wish to chat idly about mortals and their follies, I’m always up for a good laugh'.  What did you mean by that?"

"You recall that I worked for a number of barons before serving your family? They live in a different reality. I'm sure you can guess the rest."

"Ah.  Very well then.  Anyway, good luck."

"The same to you sir."   With this, Hans left for MechaTechno territory.

Once he was gone, D3 headed up to the surface to think.  Normally he would wander the caverns, but there were a lot of Forgotten Ones there at the moment, so this seemed a better option.  As he passed the trade depot, he felt a powerful nausea hit him.  He then proceeded to vomit all over the elves, and everything else in the trade depot.  Once he was done, he wiped the his mouth using the shirt of a nearby elf.  He looked around at the mess he made, looked the elven leader in the eye and said "I'm not sorry."  He then went to wander the woods for a bit.
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PsychoAngel

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1868 on: November 30, 2015, 02:07:57 pm »

Journal of Psycho II
I've had a very uneventful few years recently. It's just been me doing my job and fending off stalkers. Seriously, what is their problem? I do occasionally get orders from people, but seeing as we already have enormous bins full of soap, I don't really have to make any more. We just deliver. I've noticed some really odd occurrences lately, though, but they seem harmless, so I don't see much reason to worry. I heard that my husband was levitating the other day, which is really exciting. I'll have to ask him about it. Sometimes I feel as though some... other forces are about, but it's probably just me getting antsy after not doing much.
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Our forward thinking overseer at the time devised a way in which werebeasts can live in peace with other dwarves by utilizing the mysterious magical properties of soap!

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1869 on: November 30, 2015, 03:04:32 pm »

I would like to join the player list, and be dwarfed as a shady librarian.

Edit: Tekkud please.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2015, 04:28:40 pm by jwoodward48df »
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Drazoth

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1870 on: November 30, 2015, 03:15:20 pm »

The second year has been archived!  I would have done this earlier, but I was busy.  Here's the link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0yyjT9zt6A_ZnZsTXBpUWpJOU0/view?usp=sharing
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mate888

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1871 on: November 30, 2015, 05:31:02 pm »

I would like to join the player list, and be dwarfed as a shady librarian.

Edit: Tekkud please.
Consider yourself dorf'd, Tekkud! I wish you luck surviving till your year. Sometimes dwarves survive ridiculous amounts of time in this fort (like Taupe, Frankesteen and me) or they die instantly, like... Most of the Salemuks. That's why I don't dorf people into the militia anymore.
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

TheFlame52

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1872 on: November 30, 2015, 08:55:33 pm »

So the tower of Sanctumcoal is important to the story somehow, I guess? I don't follow the story much.

Anyway, I did a bit of research. I found out the founder, Tikes Sprinkledtrampled, is the first and only law-giver of a human civilization that was wiped out by a titan in 7. Apparently she managed to survive the attacks and lived alone in the capitol for years. She became obsessed with her own mortality in 45, probably because she was the last member of a dead civilization, and began worshiping Sasmcith, the god of deformity, disease, blight, death, and suicide.

He granted her the slab Dustgut the Spurt of Mucks in 48, from which she learned necromancy. She raised several elves killed in a skirmish with goblins in 18 and left to build Sanctumcoal. The tower was completed in 50. She then wrote a shitton of self-referential books and the rest is history.

Taupe

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1873 on: November 30, 2015, 10:00:56 pm »

So the tower of Sanctumcoal is important to the story somehow, I guess? I don't follow the story much.

Anyway, I did a bit of research. I found out the founder, Tikes Sprinkledtrampled, is the first and only law-giver of a human civilization that was wiped out by a titan in 7. Apparently she managed to survive the attacks and lived alone in the capitol for years. She became obsessed with her own mortality in 45, probably because she was the last member of a dead civilization, and began worshiping Sasmcith, the god of deformity, disease, blight, death, and suicide.

He granted her the slab Dustgut the Spurt of Mucks in 48, from which she learned necromancy. She raised several elves killed in a skirmish with goblins in 18 and left to build Sanctumcoal. The tower was completed in 50. She then wrote a shitton of self-referential books and the rest is history.
Still not the least well-adjusted human civilisation on the continent.

mate888

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Re: The Hastening of Doomforests
« Reply #1874 on: December 01, 2015, 04:49:29 pm »

Quote from: The Toad
Monster slayers can petition your fortress to go down and fight monsters once you discover the underground
That would be so useful right now...
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about
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