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Author Topic: Probenauts [November 1st: Damn]  (Read 10427 times)

IronyOwl

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #45 on: November 05, 2014, 07:06:02 pm »

Still sending out single ships?
The other one hadn't recovered yet, which was why there wasn't a Take 2 afterwards, and the first time was so close I figured it might be worth a shot. I do believe it fired both its missiles and then couldn't do anything else, as predicted. I also got to learn that retreating is not very effective.

No Collin! Why weren't you watching the rear! I loved your lovable ass self! Blast! More of the Fire Emblem cast keeps on dying and I'm going to assume we can't hard reset this. Time to send out... The DWARF.
Yeah, sorry. I figured he'd be a glory hound rather than a pure coward, and thus in a rush to spew point-blank automatic fire at a cowering outnumbered cornered adversary whose death was assured while technically standing behind someone else.

Clearly doing anything at all was his first mistake.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

yobbo

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #46 on: November 05, 2014, 08:09:45 pm »

… ?

i have no idea what's going on, but aggressively claim the bottom right corner of the map!

like this



or maybe like this



depending on how that buffer tile thing works, and whether those example tiles were claimed by axey.

Then use all tokens to build reverse harem.
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Orb

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #47 on: November 05, 2014, 11:39:12 pm »

Tips for Interceptions

1. Outnumber enemy UFO count, if possible.

1a) Use one interceptor as bait to attract the enemy attention while another comes in from behind.

2. Have afterburner on basically the entire time to outmaneuver hostile UFOs.

3. Use the dodge button when engaging UFOs front on. This will let you dodge some shots and potentially spin out of their cone of fire, allowing you to put on more fire. The dodge distance increases the faster you go, so try it with afterburner.
 
4. Stagger fire your missiles if the enemy UFO can dodge and you have a bad angle (front/back).

5. If all else fails, use autocalculate. It is usually pretty fair about combat odds (though sometimes your interceptors can take damage when they shouldn't have)
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[Will:1] You scream. You scream like a little girl in pigtails and a tutu, flailing ineffectually like a starfish on meth.

yobbo

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #48 on: November 06, 2014, 05:35:05 pm »

PS: yimi's character = spot on and the update was awesome.

completely unrelated to my character surviving.

completely unrelated.
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poketwo

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #49 on: November 06, 2014, 10:02:49 pm »

Name: Sirtotalynotanalieninfiltratorthatisfromadiffrentintergalaticalienempire
File Photo: LOOK AT THE AVATAR
Physical Description: He looks rather insectiod, but perfectly normal
Mental Description: Not trying to infiltrate anything as to help invade the planet or anything like that
Preferred Stats: Whatever is the defense stat high, will is above average, and whatever determines melee stat high
Preferred Loadout:ANYTHING THAT IS MELEE THAT IS NOT STUN, OR THE BIG MINIGUNS
Battlefield Behavior:CHARGE AT THE ENEMY, BUT ALWAYS END IN COVER. ALSO SHOOT WHEN HAVING ABOVE 25% CHANCE OF HITTING
Base Behavior: Look into anything, "reassign" resources from other teammates when possible, and generally take notes on anything.

(possibly more detailed info if pmed for it)
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IronyOwl

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #50 on: November 09, 2014, 07:05:02 am »

September 25th (1/3): Hateful Things


: "We have some new recruits!"





: "What the fuck."

: "Hi! Pleased to meet you!"

: "Aye, nice place ya got here. Now, where's the booze?"

: "I too hunger for buze as a normal human."

: "No, really. What."

: "I believe the store room should have ample alcohol supplies. As for your inquiry, Yimi, Xenonauts are an unprejudiced and open force that welcomes all into their fold."

: "But he's a fucking alien. A giant fucking alien bug. A giant fucking alien bug who couldn't even be bothered to get a real name!"

: "Ye must be joking. This a fortress or a prison?"

: "UNTRUTH! Clear object of interest located in that direction, attention shift recommended."

: "...I will look into procuring additional alcohol products. Now now Yimi, there's no cause for harassing your new teammate. You should try to make friends, as the bonds between you may prove most productive."

: "On missions, I mean."

: "We too advocate full cooperation and lack of intruder response, fellow hivemate."

: "Och, fine. Mebbe I'll get something goin' in that cavern o' wonders ye got..."

: "Okay, you know what? Fine. Fine! I don't care, cause I'm off to Haremtown. Gimme everything to the... whichever that direction is, southeast? Lower right? Don't care. Gimme that, and then gimme five tokens on Cute Guy Harem."

: "Plots must be purchased in rectangles, and you do not have five-"

: "HYPOTHETICALLY what if whatshername came down with a bad case of shotgun to mouth?"

: "Conflict between Xenonauts is discouraged, but in the event of a fatality her tokens would be spent or transferred in a manner consistent with her wishes."

: "I WILL END YOU."

: "Besides, what's the stupid wretch even going to spend them on?"

: "I haven't decided yet! Do you have any ideas, Yimi-chan?"

: "My harem."

: "Haha, don't be silly!"

: "So dead."

: "Well, let me know if you think of anything!"

: "Well then, let's move on to squad introductions."





: "Greetings, Human-chan!"

: "I'm Blue Asteroid, your Carapace!"

: "I'm Green Moon, your Warrior!"

: "I'm Red Comet, your Ambush!"

: "I swear to god."

: "We look forward to working with you!"

: "Greetingsh Barthus!"

: "I'm Cobaltite Grate, your shieldbearer!"

: "I'm Serpentine Mechanism, your generalist!"

: "I'm Bauxite Floodgate, your sniper!"

: "We look forward to working with you!"

: "Ye know, cat, I think tha lack o men in this fortress might be a bit o a problem. Lasses 'far as the eye can see, an not one of em's shielded by an infant."

: "Combat shields are quicker to produce."

: "I dunno, cat. Doesn't seem to have quite the same panache."




: "Wonderful! Our research efforts have produced a completed autopsy."

: "It would also appear this particular researcher is not completely fond of the engineering department."

: "Still, the knowledge that these particular aliens are at a severe mental disadvantage would be encouraging news, had they not already proven themselves so lethal."



: "Our researchers seem to have a similarly unencouraging opinion of the quality of our air force."



: "Fortunately, work on heavier fighters is soon completed, which should alleviate that problem. I've ordered one produced immediately, but it will take four days to complete."

: "I also see that the aforementioned barb was not an isolated statement."



: "...the good news is that we have vehicles available now."



: "As well as optional explosive loadouts for them, described without contempt."



: "Excellent! After all that activity in eastern Asia, it's pleasing to be able to engage another target."



: "Interesting. Can we hit both in quick succession?"





: "...this is easier than prior experience had indicated."



: "Speaking of which, we have a desert mission. Since there are no current battlegroups, we'll default to the newcomers."


To Be Continued...
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

IronyOwl

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #51 on: November 09, 2014, 07:05:25 am »

September 25th (2/3): Components






An orderly and smoke-covered exit from the plane yields nothing until a creature appears to the north.


Fortunately, Barthus has a plan.


Unfortunately, Barthus is a dwarf.

Green Moon has been struck down!





: "Well... maybe smoke will cheer this place up!"

: "Inquiry: Cause of severe damage to this one's brood?"

: "Well, y'know, it just... got away from me there, you know. These things happen."

: "Volatility of native species noted."


In typical fashion, an alien is noted coming around the other side. Despite taking some damage, it proceeds to regenerate and butcher Red Comet.

: "Any apparent deviation from accepted broodmate termination response should be attributed to complex interaction mechanics and not internal discrepancies with expected qualities."

It does eat some return fire (15, 44), but as usual, not nearly enough.


Barthus cancels Defeat Alien Menace: Drinking

The rest of the squad returns fire to little effect.


More problems arise.


It's a fairly mixed, back-and-forth battle.



: "Now where'd I leave me boomstick again?"

: "Silly me, right where I left it! Now then, let's solve some-"

: "ACTION UNNECESSARY! Engaging hostiles!"







: "Crisis averted."

: "Heh, yep, ye got 'im."

: "Incorrect crisis."


Serpentine Mechanism cancels Defeat Alien Menace: Attending Party


Bauxite Floodgate cancels Defeat Alien Menace: Attending Party



: "I have made a mistake."


*BOOM*

: "Really? That's funny, I never make mistakes."



: "Aha! Human medical composites not currently located on fleeing coward detected on human husk. Applying medical substance."

+1 HP

: "Gee, thanks."

: "I am human medical specialist."



: "Ahhhh stop shooting me!"

: "Maybe you could cut your break a bit short and fight back?"

: "Never!"


Bauxite Floodgate has been struck down!



: "That was a fun party. Time for a break!"



: "Nevermind another party!"


Blue Asteroid cancels Defeat Alien Menace: Vomiting Amber Substances.

: "...is this normal...?"

: "Clearly and self-evidently."


*BOOM*

: "Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Now we're talkin'!"

Sebillian cancels Enjoy Life: On Fire
Sebillian cancels Enjoy Life: Probably No Longer Has A Face



: "Smoke up!"


Serpentine Mechanism cancels Party: Being murdered.

: "If only... there was anything at all I could have done differently...!"


Sebillian has been struck down by a tick of fire!

: "Now that's the diff'rence between labor an' art!"

: "Time ta'-"

: "ACTION UNNECESSARY!"








"And so our victorious Xenonauts return home. However..."


"There's another hostile to deal with. It proves much more problematic than the previous one."



: "However, it is nonetheless brought down."


"Meanwhile, our survivors have learned... well, something."

: "Hoo hoo! And you thought I was accurate before!"

: "BAH! Is useless human spine-throwers! Too heavy for using!"



: "Am with shorter ambush spikes now, for proper feasting!"

: "Also am doktor, human flesh-mending caste."



: "Well, it seems we have need of two more squads."

: "So me and..."

: "Greetings, Cerulean Axe-sempai!"

: "Of course."

: "I'm Blueberry Bastion, your shieldbearer!"

: "I'm Mint Massacre, your generalist!"

: "I'm Cinnamon Slaughter, your sniper!"

: "We look forward to working with you!"

: "HOW AM I THE ONLY NORMAL PERSON HERE?!"


TO BE CONTINUED...
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

IronyOwl

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Re: Probenauts [September 17th: Everything Comes In Threes]
« Reply #52 on: November 09, 2014, 07:05:44 am »

September 25th (3/3): Bro









Cerulean's squad takes the northern pass, while Yimi covers the southern field. Gunshots are heard in the distance.


Blueberry Bastion uncovers the first alien.


Unfortunately Mint Massacre gets a little excited and ends up shooting Cinnamon Slaughter on accident.


Yimi's team clears the field and heads to the road, still no extraterrestrials in sight.


Cinnamon Slaughter displays the true power of snipers with some truly brutal shots, but Blueberry Bastion took fire from a second source. They know something's up there.



: "Teehee, all better!"

: "You mean like 2/3rds better."




Both squads continue to advance...

[img width=1024http://i.imgur.com/08eIsoq.jpg[/img]http://: "Haha, I'm... still new with flashbangs."

: "That wouldn't matter if I could GET A GODDAMNED ANGLE!"


Cerulean Axe's team uncovers the second alien and engages it... by remaining still and letting Cinnamon Slaughter pick at it from afar. It's not quick, but the enemy really does seem pretty inept at long ranges.

Unfortunately so are pistols, and the alien is regenerating.



: "I can't do it. I can't do it!!!"







: "YOU WORTHLESS COWARD!"



: "NONONONONONO!"



: "No worries, we got it! Just gotta get everyone to hit all at once!"



: "That's it, we're done. These things suck at long-ranged combat, right? We're gonna slip in behind it, then. And YOU are gonna screen us, you useless sack of meat!"



: "Holy shit it actually worked. Nice job hitting the ground behind an enemy with their back turned to you."



: "Dude. They've got like ten snipers, each of which can murder us from further away than we can see."

: "Yeah, but whatya gonna do about it?"

: "Dude, what if we like... opened the door, shot anything in front of the ship, and then closed it again? And then just, like, did that forever?"

: "Bro, that's retarded. There's no way they're gonna fall for that."









: "HAUGH! My... harem...!"

: "GACK!"

: "UGH!"

: "WAH!"

: "Dude, you're like, a genius."

: "I know, right?"

: "Okay, okay. We can still do this. What if we all get assault rifles and rush them?"



: "There aren't enough that we can reach."

: "Okay, I'll just go back around and snipe from the building...?"



: "HGH!"





: "Okay, yeah, we're done. Nice try, really good show. Time to leave!"



: "BLAGH!"



: "How unfortunate. We were doing so well, too."



: "On the bright side, we now have a heavier fighter."



: "Actually, I forgot to mention that you're now our most distinguished veteran. Well done."

: "Yay?"

: "It's also a bit pathetic, considering you've survived two missions and have never slain an enemy, but yes, it is technically progress."

: "...yay."
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Aseaheru

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Re: Probenauts [September 25th: Rapid Fire]
« Reply #53 on: November 09, 2014, 12:08:55 pm »

So, can I get that fighter?
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birdy51

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Re: Probenauts [September 25th: Rapid Fire]
« Reply #54 on: November 09, 2014, 01:49:50 pm »

Barthus killed his ally. And still got promoted to Corporal. I'm so proud of him...
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BIRDS.

Also started a Let's Play, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelists of the Roses

yobbo

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Re: Probenauts [September 25th: Rapid Fire]
« Reply #55 on: November 09, 2014, 05:51:06 pm »

noooo, died to alien cheese? Damnit!

Name: Yemi Aoki
File Photo:
Physical Description: blonde hair, suntan, improbably white teeth, insists on wearing sunglasses inside
Mental Description: Laid back. Joined Xenonauts because he heard there were hot alien babes.
Preferred Stats: bad bravery
Preferred Loadout: Precision Rifle. Flashbangs. Smoke grenades. Frag grenades. Medipack if he can carry it.
Battlefield Behavior: Find a spot and chill. Just shoot things from there, like. Only move if he really has to.
Base Behavior: Chat up research babes. Chat up engineer babes. Chat up pilot babes. Chat up magical minion babes. Not the albino squirrel tho. He's cool with the squirrel, just not into that sort of thing you know? Smoke weed every day.
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IronyOwl

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Re: Probenauts [September 25th: Rapid Fire]
« Reply #56 on: November 11, 2014, 08:43:22 am »

September 26th: Tantalizing


: "We have another recruit!"



: "You know what that means."

: "Greetings, Yemi-sempai! We look forward to working with you!"

: "I'm Blue Bowl, your Shieldbearer!"

: "I'm Green Medicine, your Generalist!"

: "I'm Red Blaze, your Sniper!"

: "Sweeeeeeet."


"Oh look, another contact."


"Well, it's good to keep busy."



: "Despite our expert pilot's new toy, the craft simply rolled away from most of the missiles. We may need to exercise more restraint with them."


"Still, it does go down."



: "Further anomalous activity is detected over Asia. I suspect we should establish a base over there at some point."

: "However, for the moment we need to determine who's going on the mission. We have one new squad, one pending squad, two veterans, one shieldbearer, and one injured shieldbearer."

: "I demand feastings! Feastings with proper weapons!"

: "Aye, I'm always up fer a scrape!"

: "Please no. I just got back and I want to live."

: "Then it's settled. Squad Yemi, Barthus, Cobaltite Grate, Normal Human, and Maroon Joy will participate in the mission."


((Apologies for the mini-update, but time constraints. The mission has been completed, but the autopsy will have to wait a bit longer. <3))
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Aseaheru

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Re: Probenauts [September 26th: Tantalizing]
« Reply #57 on: November 11, 2014, 10:40:15 am »

For missiles, I suggest staggering for fighters, and going in across their flight path, to hit their side.
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birdy51

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Re: Probenauts [September 26th: Tantalizing]
« Reply #58 on: November 11, 2014, 10:53:08 am »

Mrr. Would you mind placing the updates into spoilers?

It may make viewing the updates a bit easier.
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Wolfhunter107

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Re: Probenauts [September 26th: Tantalizing]
« Reply #59 on: November 11, 2014, 08:06:27 pm »

Putting the updates in spoilers would be nice.
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Just ask yourself: What would a mobster do?
So we butcher them and build a 4chan tallow soap tower as a monument to our greatness?
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