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Author Topic: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome  (Read 9213 times)

4maskwolf

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Hey everyone.  I searched for a thread like this in the recent histories, but I couldn't find one, so I made one of my own.  This is the place to tell the stories of how your adventurers died, be it an awesome way, a stupid way, or just plain mundanity.

A couple of my favorite stupid deaths:
The Dragon Incident: I was playing a dwarf in .40.19 and was given a mission to go kill a dragon that lived to the north.  I crossed a mountain range and, on my way to the dragon, encountered an abandoned fortress just south of its lair.  Within the trade depot I found myself a full suit of copper armor, to complement my steel battle axe and my shield.  Somehow I lost my companion there (we spawned on the roof and the AI doesn't climb well).  So I continue on to the dragon's lair and enter, and it breathes fire.  No problem, right?

Wrong.  I'd sheathed my weapon and shield when I tried to climb down the fortress walls.  !!Fun!! ensues.

I'll get to the other ones later.

Ziusudra

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2014, 06:55:44 pm »

Bugs, angels, and a titan, oh my. Going back through the log:

Night troll bled to death. Divine spear through head. Couldn't swim up. Divine war hammer through head. Hill titan kick through head. Another night troll bled out.

Oh, here's a different one. If you make a campfire next to an ice wall, the wall melts. Then, the water flows and puts out the fire. Then the water refreezes. "You have been encased in ice." :-[
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Ironblood didn't use an axe because he needed it. He used it to be kind. And right now he wasn't being kind.

smjjames

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2014, 07:00:24 pm »

I was doing stuff as a were-elephant in a dark pits when I dodged into those deep holes, exploded on impact. Then some time later my adventurer died due to a large group of goblins mainly because I wasn't paying attention, also whips.

That world then died a crashy death due to this bug: http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/mantisbt/view.php?id=8582
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Corinthian

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2014, 07:33:37 pm »

Beaten to death while sleeping.
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StagnantSoul

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2014, 08:58:01 pm »

I had just slain a hydra, only lost a toe and one maceman. Got killed by a tiger.
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Quote from: Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum
I threw night creature blood into a night creature's heart and she pulled it out and bled to death.
Quote from: Eric Blank
Places to jibber madly at each other, got it
Quote from: NJW2000
If any of them are made of fire, throw stuff, run, and think non-flammable thoughts.

Falconbridge

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2014, 02:17:04 pm »

straved to death, stuck flying over a towercap...

spend 1.5 hour preparing a legendary ( Shaft of enlightened) , super strong and resilient (swam under a bridge for two days) , fully decked out in master work adamantium and steel (included masterwork cloak , packpack, quiver and flask full of passion fruit wine ), demigod swords-elf.
take first quest, decide to explore the caverns.
climb to top of towercap and get stuck there with no option to do anything, while it says "flying" in the bottom.
wait helplessly for 20min to die as your hunger and thirst changes color.
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Magnumcannon

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2014, 08:35:03 pm »

On my first playthrough of the game, i started as an outsider. Killed by a swarm of lolcats. It was 34.11
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tonnot98

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2014, 08:36:41 pm »

straved to death, stuck flying over a towercap...

spend 1.5 hour preparing a legendary ( Shaft of enlightened) , super strong and resilient (swam under a bridge for two days) , fully decked out in master work adamantium and steel (included masterwork cloak , packpack, quiver and flask full of passion fruit wine ), demigod swords-elf.
take first quest, decide to explore the caverns.
climb to top of towercap and get stuck there with no option to do anything, while it says "flying" in the bottom.
wait helplessly for 20min to die as your hunger and thirst changes color.
Embark there and chop the tree down.
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Not sure if dying of old age is an honor or a shame for weaponmasters. On the one hand, it means they never got the opportunity to die in glorious battle. On the other hand, it means nothing could beat them in glorious battle.
Meow.

Magnumcannon

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2014, 08:40:33 pm »

straved to death, stuck flying over a towercap...

spend 1.5 hour preparing a legendary ( Shaft of enlightened) , super strong and resilient (swam under a bridge for two days) , fully decked out in master work adamantium and steel (included masterwork cloak , packpack, quiver and flask full of passion fruit wine ), demigod swords-elf.
take first quest, decide to explore the caverns.
climb to top of towercap and get stuck there with no option to do anything, while it says "flying" in the bottom.
wait helplessly for 20min to die as your hunger and thirst changes color.
Embark there and chop the tree down.
Burn it with magma
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StagnantSoul

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2014, 09:12:36 pm »

straved to death, stuck flying over a towercap...

spend 1.5 hour preparing a legendary ( Shaft of enlightened) , super strong and resilient (swam under a bridge for two days) , fully decked out in master work adamantium and steel (included masterwork cloak , packpack, quiver and flask full of passion fruit wine ), demigod swords-elf.
take first quest, decide to explore the caverns.
climb to top of towercap and get stuck there with no option to do anything, while it says "flying" in the bottom.
wait helplessly for 20min to die as your hunger and thirst changes color.

Okay, I'm sorry, but that's kind of hilarious.
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Quote from: Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum
I threw night creature blood into a night creature's heart and she pulled it out and bled to death.
Quote from: Eric Blank
Places to jibber madly at each other, got it
Quote from: NJW2000
If any of them are made of fire, throw stuff, run, and think non-flammable thoughts.

Lost in Nowhere

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2014, 09:16:33 pm »

Don't chop it down, collapse it into magma! That's clearly the best solution.
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And so I strike, like an unseen dodge ball in an echoing gymnasium!
Another book entitled Start Your Day with Extinction.
Must be the next book in the series after Start Your Day with Death.

StagnantSoul

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2014, 09:19:35 pm »

Nah, chop it down. That's good metal.
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Quote from: Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum
I threw night creature blood into a night creature's heart and she pulled it out and bled to death.
Quote from: Eric Blank
Places to jibber madly at each other, got it
Quote from: NJW2000
If any of them are made of fire, throw stuff, run, and think non-flammable thoughts.

Quartz_Mace

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2014, 10:20:03 pm »

I killed a steel Titan at the North Pole without suffering a scratch using a bronze war hammer. Literally, the North Pole. I trekked through the tundra for days and dragged it's skull into the only nearby town. Recruited some soldiers to go slay more monsters. Got my arm bitten by a Night Troll, causing permanent damage because I got in it's way to save my companions. We continue onward, me unable to use a shield. I enter the lair I think belongs to a Werebeast, on my quest to regain my arm's use...
The Hydra misses you!
The Hydra misses you!
The Hydra misses you!
The Hydra misses you!
The Hydra misses you!
The Hydra misses you!
The Hydra misses you!


Oh my gosh! I run away to let my companions fight it for a bit while I get my shield out; it's more important than my bronze war hammer. They desert me. The beast charges at me and ends up blocking my path to the door. I desperately make a run for it by trying to dodge my way through, until it snaps me in half.

*Head-desk*
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vjmdhzgr

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2014, 04:24:17 am »

Just finished conquering a town that had quite a lot of resistance and training my armor user skill to the point where I wasn't weighed down when out of nowhere a demon made of blood appeared and after two shots I was unconscious then slowly beaten to death over what was probably a whole day in-game time.
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Its a feature. Impregnating booze is a planned tech tree for dwarves and this is a sneak peek at it.
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Blade312

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Re: How did you die most recently: A History of Pointlessness and Awesome
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2014, 04:10:01 am »

A stone fall trap from my own fortress. One hit on the head and it got crushed.
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