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[Meph]

than402 & Paulus Fahlstrom: Go ahead

[Meph]

Updated the first post with links to all story posts and all active/inactive players.

Arcvasti: Are you replaying year 3 of the 'bolds?

Xelanthol is out, he hasnt written anything in ages... the Orc fortress needs a new player.

[Jakob]

Righto, let's get a'crackin.

[Arcvasti]

Arcvasti: Are you replaying year 3 of the 'bolds?

Not at the moment. I'll be seriously getting started[For realzies~!] tomorrow. Had school stuff ambush me[_{Grumble grumble, 45 pages of math worksheets in two days}]. I might be able to do some preliminary reorganizing stuff tonight, but no promises.

[Meph]

Ok, no rush. I liked the first writeup you did, its pretty sad that the save file got that problem... I just wanted to know if you are still up for it, or if I should be looking for another player. If you need a couple of days, thats perfectly fine.

[Arcvasti]

Currently working on the Spring update. I'm planning on four updates this time, one per season. Summary of my efforts so far:

You have two cows. You are a cow farmer. The government takes both your cows away to be cared for by ex-chicken farmers. Meanwhile, YOU have to take care of goats while the chickens are cared for by ex-goat farmers.

[Immortal-D]

We need a year 2 comparison, your first writeup was fantastic

[than402]

how do i use dfhack to disable the flow of the river?

[Meph]

Damn it up with osidian. Spawn magma on the ends.

[than402]

thanks. it came a bit... shoddy (you'll see when I upload images), but hey! my fps rose. somewhat.

[than402]

Ηumans, Spring Year 5

From Blockwade's expedition log, as written by Ag "The Jack" Strayingmeteors

1st Granite, 31

After five years of applying and being rejected, I was finally elected as overseer! And immediately regretted my decision.

I can't complain, the place has been tidied up and expanded a lot recently, but for every problem solved another pops outor remains unnoticed until too late. First things first, though, WE MUST TEAR DOWN THE PART OF THE HILL THAT'S CONNECTED WITH OUR WALL!!! What the hell? Oh, and tear down more of the damn hill while we're at it. I shudder to think what would happen if archers fell upon us...

5th Granite, 31

The gnomish caravan finally arrived. The fact the little buggers noticed us means we are growing rich and strong. I think I'm just gonna buy some animals, though the machinery they carry also interests me... I bought a cougar, an emu, a steel sabre, some tin and whatever bits and pieces looked shiny to me. I don't know what to do with them, but someone has to. I also took a look at the prisoners from the last battle... I wonder what to do with them...I asked the gnomes if they accepted succubi as payment. They took it as a joke. I have an idea about them, but first I have more important things to do. Like tearing down the hill and furnishing the bedrooms.

9th Granite, 31

Stupid miners... Whoever had this bright idea to channel the ground under his feet deserves his broken ribs, that's what I know.

24th Granite, 31

I ordered a masons' guildhall to be set up and mandated yet more hill to die. But now the miners report an attack by our worst enemy yet: foxes! Damn miners... Also, I ordered leather and sells to be sold. We need money more than we need overflowed leather stockpiles. Next up, I'm gonna tidy up the excavation site (in order to expand the city) and set proper barracks.

9th Slate, 31

Greeat, more migrants. Well, more haulers won't hurt I guess, but I'll draft anyone who complains about the lack of beds.

18th Felsite, 31

Okay, the masons' guild has been expanded. I also reached the conclusion that we have more blocks than we'll ever need. Good thing I bought the stonecrafters' permit. Also, a weird mechanical creature has been spotted scouting our town. I predict troubles... Also, the elves have arrived. Mithril and exotic animals. Excellent. And they brought several grizzy bears and giant spiders. That will be a wonderful addition to our military.

27th Felsite, 31

Negotiations with the elves have ended... poorly. I had been informed about their sensibilities, but not that they would be such dicks about it. Apparently, they spotted something wooden in our offerings, they spat on me and decared that they would "not deal with murderers". I responded with unsheathing my weapon, calling my men and declaring that I would seize their war animals, their weapons and some cloth and there is nothing they can do to stop me. It won't do our reputation much good, but hopefully it will teach them some manners.

1st Hematite, 31

Summer has entered and the work on the hill has not yet reached a satisfactory point. The hill is a hazard to our community and there's nowhere to hide from arrows. I do have an idea, however. One that will solve our defense problems, our block surplus and will give us plenty of space with no need to create towers or to expand to all the valley. It's time for some drastic actions...

Spoiler:  Some photos of the town (click to show/hide)

[WodanYmirthe2nd]

You seized an Elven caravan and used the guy that singlehandedly saved the fort from getting literally raped killed by a marauding Succubus warband, eh?

Somehow, the human side of this LP is becoming more and more of a Man versus Hill with the latter fighting back as much as possible by spawning animals and occasional assholes and the former being as much as a dick to the hill as possible while running a pickaxe on its face. Also, I suggest that you put more lazy slackers in the fishing job. More raw fish to sell means more gold anyway.

[than402]

Just like humans IRL, we shape the environment to our needs. But yeah, aside from the automatons and a recent orc siege the anti-hill crusade is without doubt our LP's thing.

[than402]

Humans, Summer Year 5 (+ Battle)
2nd Hematite, 31

Two more of these metal things. One of them also carries what appears to be a shooting device. I smell a lot of trouble if more of these show up... It also chopped a baby's arm off! I mean, wow. I know I'm not the nicest man on this green earth, but that was ruthless.

26th Hematite, 31

We've finally completed the carpenters' guild! Now we can use all those ironbones to make armor. Also, the elven emissary not only forgave our theft, but actually asked us what we should bring next year! Fucking elves...

17th Malachite, 31

Both projects (that is, tearing down the hill and fortifying the city) continue as planned. We also have some migrants.

18th Galena, 31

The human caravan has arrived. Finally, time to buy some armor and some metal.

Spoiler: oh crap (click to show/hide)

Along with an army of orcs. As always, there are a ton of civilians running around (away from the gates and the trap hallway, of course), people dying and the caravan is trying to flee. There are also some kobolds, which I almost pity. Oh wait, they're filthy kobolds so "almost" is the key word here. I'll pull the lever and try to weaken them with arrows before I attack. The only good news are that we caught two of the metal people. Females, to be exact. Once we oust the orcs, I want to try and communicate with them. Try to learn their motivations and what they fuck they are.

1st Limestone, 31 (The Battle)

I stationed the Tattoed Nuts in a safe place on top of the hallway. So of course, what does the sergeant do?

Spoiler: natural selection in a nutshell (click to show/hide)

Asshole, you're wearing leather armor and shooting bone arrows. Now you'll die and it will be all on you.

The orcs eventually assaulted the now open gates. Me and my men were waiting for them on the other side.

Leading the orcs was a "Sorcerer" who called himself Azguuruk Tarkuukbuur (I'm pretty sure the shaman meant to name him Asguruk Tarkukbur, but he stuttered).He was weilding a blowgun and was riding a dire wolf. He charged at our military commander while muttering a curse that caused the sergeant's and the commander's skins to rot and our commander to be wracked with pain. The sergeant had it hard on that battle. She was also attacked by a swordorc which managed to land several cuts before she grabbed him and kicked his brain out (I didn't even knew orcs had that organ!)

The military commander soon put her act together and, unleashing a war cry, charged the warlock and ran him through with her orichalcum spear. A wrestler killed the dire wolf by repeatedly smashing its skull with that slag morningstar. The rest of the orcs were either captured or ran for their lives.

Overall, our casualties were: one dead, two wounded, while the orcs lost two (three counting the wolf) and 13 were taken prisoners. I'd say it could have gone worse.

Okay, people. Show's over. Get back to business. There's a hill waiting to die, a ceiling and some bedrooms waiting to be built and whoever is slacking off should get a rod and go get some fishes. And the rest of the army, follow me. We've got two metal ladies to interrogate.

Spoiler: photos from Blockwade (click to show/hide)

tune in tomorrow for the automaton's interrogation (I'll write it as an interlude) and the rest of the year

[than402]

Interlude: First Contact

The Jack cleaned his spear and entered the barracks. Along him were Owba, Ica and Jeha. The creatures were in the middle, sitting perfectly still in their cages. They looked like women made out of copper. They had opening where they eyes and the mouth would be, and hot steam was leaking from one of them. There was plenty of noise from above, but even so Jack could hear a constant hissing coming from the wound. Did that wound hurt? Were they angry? Were they even sentient?

"Alright, m'ladies. You are ladies, aren't you?" The creatures made no sound. "I have some questions for you. Can you speak?" No sound came.

"Okay, so I'm gonna begin. Just hit your legs on the floor. One hit for yes, two for no. And if you continue to remain silent, I'll be forced to assume that you are not sentient, and therefore the only way to learn more about you is by chopping you up and giving the pieces to our mechanic. Do you understand?" Silence for three seconds. Then they both hit the ground once.

"Good. So, who sent you? Was it the succubi?" No sound came. "Was it the orcs that just attacked?" Silence. "Are you another insane gnomish experiment?". The creatures were silent still. "We know there are more of you out there and not all of your kind, whatever that is, looks like you. One of them sliced a toddler's arm off, so we know you're not here for our children. Are you scouts?" They hit the ground together. "That was painless", Jack murmured.

"So, what's your purpose? Is it to kill us?" Silence. "Is it to steal our stuff?" Silence. Ag was starting to lose his patience with them. "If you're not going to tell me something useful or new, then I'm gonna...

"Perfection",the two creatures said as one

 The Jack was startled. The voices were dry and emotionless, like the sound a machine would make that just happened to sound like a normal voice.

"Say what now?"

"We are the automatons. Our masters, the Dwarves of Nikuzothob, created us to bring perfection to this flawed world. We were made perfect and infallible. We will fix the world of errors, and everything shall be made perfect as well."

Ag had heard the story of Nikuzothob. Once the greatest jewel of the Dwarven civilization, known for its accomplishments in both art and science. But the Dwarves were swallowed by pride from their accomplishments. They claimed the divines were holding them back and that they would prove their superiority to the gods by creating life themselves. No one knows what became of them. One day the fort just wasn't there. They say the gods punished them for their arrogance. They made the mountain swallow the fort and turned them into kobolds, cursing the once aloof and wise Dwarves to remain the lowest of the low until the end of times. Priests were telling this story as a cautionary tale to blasphemers, but few believed it. Did the dwarves succeed in making life after all? And what truly happened to them?

"What are these "errors" you are talking about?"

"Death. Disease. Pain. Hatred. Greed. Lust. Sloth. Weakness. Uncertainty. We will fix this flawed world from these errors and more. We will fix you and your world like we fixed our masters. You will be ideal. Eternal. This world will be ideal."

"It's you who need fixing, you fucking tinmen. Who am I even talking to now? Do you even have names? Can you even think for yourselves?"

"Names are redundant. A name defines a personality. Personalities cause conflicts. Conflicts create errors. These two units don't have or need names. You may refer to us as The Automata. Or "fucking tinmen", if you prefer. We do not fault you for your ignorance. Humans are especially flawed creatures, and you appear to be more flawed than the rest. But have no fear. Once we fix your settlement, even one such as you can reach perfection."

"That's enough!", Ag shouted and drew his spear. "Time for plan B"