After trying to play a "real" human town and failing three times, I found it was a worthy challenge.
- above ground buildings with a cellar
- small huts for people/families
- bonus for "dedicated" living areas: slums (new arrivals) and wealthier areas
- church/temple in the centre, graveyard/catacombs far from the village
- roads
- workshop-dedicated streets
- first only a wooden palisade around town centre, later outer walls and upgradeable to stone(blocks) with gatehouses and better defences (stonefall traps to simulate throwing of rocks above gates etc)
- when nobles come, build a stone fort/manor/castle
- farms are outside the village/wall, livestock can stay inside + small gardens for vegetables
- no deep mining (I dug only 4 levels max) or then use open mine pits -style
- military squads dedicated for some "militia"weapon (spearmen, bowmen, halberdiers etc)
- trading focus
Yeah, you really can't go straight to building a village, since this is perpetual wartime, and you need defenses first (good defenses, because now things can climb.) I make my dwarves unskilled laborers and raise the first 3-6 z-levels of inner castle wall first (enclosing enough room for stockpiles, etc., with cellars beneath) while they live in a communal shack with beds and dining hall. Later, start working on military and build a more central keep that's sealable from air attacks. Once you have a military, you can start building wards/baileys, etc. Once you have an area closed off, you can build village structures in it (workshops, housing, etc.)
That's if you don't want to build your castle out of wood. If you don't mind wood, you can go a bit bigger with your first wall (logs are much easier to obtain in quantity than rock blocks, which require mining, transport, and masonry) and just bring all woodcutters/carpenters, waiting for migrants to turn into plant gatherers and brewers to get food supplies replenished. Palisades might be more realistic to start with for a small company of people founding a civilian settlement. I prefer the straight castle-building, though, because you don't have a bunch of obsolete legendary carpenters running around, and it feels more purposeful. Like the mountainhome commissioned a fortress to fight the gobbos (or whatever awful threat exists) from.
But yes, once you start building aboveground, you never go back
Edit: My first castle was in range of a necromancer tower. We were under siege most of the time, but certain geological phenomena (we settled on a plateau cut by rivers) ensured that we could continue to build up the walls on one side while the other was covered with zombs. It was really quite tough - and that was before they could climb and hold weapons.