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Author Topic: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée  (Read 1454001 times)

smjjames

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12510 on: February 24, 2016, 12:53:32 am »

Kasich team put out a press release attacking Rubio's performance in Nevada.


Trump speaking now. ITS TRUMPENING.

On what? That he didn't beat Trump? And yeah, Trumps percentage is slowly rising as the votes come in from Clark county, he very well could break 50%
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RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12511 on: February 24, 2016, 12:59:33 am »

Highlights of the speech:

--Mocking the "over 50% of people didn't vote for Trump" argument.
--"Always nice to be beating the governor" (most awkward euphemism for masturbation ever)
--Talks about how donors are begging to give him money, and how it's not in his nature to refuse money, "so now we're gonna grab and grab and grab and we're gonna take the money for America". Basically announcing that he's no longer self-funding (and hasn't been for a while now).
--"I love the poorly educated"
--Touts 46% support among Hispanics
--Something about loading up with Bad Dudes. I'm wondering if he's been reading Dr. McNinja.
--"Mexico is going to pay for the wall. They'll be happy with it. I'm gonna talk to them, they'll be thrilled."


EDIT:
And now some dude in a flannel is warming up the crowd for Cruz, and talking about how they could have a sweep in November "like Reagan".

BITCH PLZ

Fluffer speech is followed by the sound of a distant car alarm. That or someone's bullshit meter is going off.

Oh, Glenn Beck just came on stage. Definitely the bullshit meter then.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2016, 01:03:35 am by RedKing »
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

smirk

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12512 on: February 24, 2016, 01:06:17 am »

The Bad Dudes are going to be loaded into Guantanamo, apparently. Which could still be a one-off McNinja gag...

Glad it was a short speech. I know giving in to petty insults isn't good, but I'll be damned if he doesn't give the impression that someone found a half-rotted pumpkin and turn it into a muppet.
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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12513 on: February 24, 2016, 01:06:59 am »

Holy shit, Glenn Beck looks old. And fat.

Beck says that Sanders has diagnosed the basic problem in the US, but doesn't have any correct solutions. Says the basic problem is "fairness".

EDIT:
Beck making Ted Cruz's dad sound like fucking Cuban Rambo.

Glenn Beck basically just called 13-year old Ted Cruz "a little freak" because he toured around showing off that he could quote the Constitution from memory. And he meant it in a good way.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2016, 01:10:53 am by RedKing »
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

smjjames

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12514 on: February 24, 2016, 01:09:43 am »

I really should read that Dr. McNinja thing.
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Bauglir

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12515 on: February 24, 2016, 01:11:03 am »

Yeah, so I guess I'm starting to reconsider at this point. As long as the field stays fractured, I think Trump might have the nomination to look forward to. Their stubborn refusal to quit will damn us all to... a hilarious campaign followed by a crushing defeat. I'm still confident he can't win the general. Just as confident as I was that his run wouldn't last past the New Year.

>_________________________________>
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12516 on: February 24, 2016, 01:12:23 am »

I really should read that Dr. McNinja thing.
Start from the beginning. Seriously. I finally got all the way through to the current strips the other day. It's glorious.
I kinda feel like Trump is King Radical brought to life, but without the good parts.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12517 on: February 24, 2016, 01:16:01 am »

Beck has been speaking for longer than Trump, and probably longer than Cruz will. Jesus, this asshole loves the sound of his own voice.

Beck finally shut the fuck up and hands over to Nevada's Attorney General, who presumably will introduce Cruz.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2016, 01:17:37 am by RedKing »
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

smirk

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12518 on: February 24, 2016, 01:26:12 am »

Cruz's live feed keeps cutting out for me. Not the biggest loss, as the animated dancing Trump on the results panel at the top is far more entertaining than Cruz's speaking voice.
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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12519 on: February 24, 2016, 01:27:42 am »

Highlights of Cruz's Third-Place Victory Speech:

--Starts the speech surrounded by a shitton of young white guys in suits (and one Jeb Bush look-alike in plaid).
--Congratulates Trump on "a strong evening tonight"
--Says that history tells us that no one has ever won the nomination without winning one of the first four primaries, and that Cruz and Trump are the only two who have.
--Says only campaign that can beat Trump, and *has* beaten Trump is Cruz. (He's milking that Iowa squeaker for all its worth)
--Talks up Super Tuesday like a pitchman talking about a monster truck rally. Tuesday! Tuesday! TUESDAY!
--Slips a "stand unshakeably with the nation of Israel" in there.
--Following a "If you want X, ask yourself who has Y," rhetorical pattern in his speech.
--"We will make sure kids coming out of school have three, four, five job offers" (doesn't mention that they're McDonalds, Wal-Mart and Starbucks)


EDIT: No sign of Rubio yet -- may be wanting to make sure that 2nd place spot is secure before giving a "victory" speech.
Twitter/blogosphere starting to bubble up with stories about an alleged Rubio affair, but basically just rehashing allegations made back in 2010. And again in 2012.

EDIT #2: Cruz now below 20% threshold. Trump appears to be net beneficiary (up to 46.6% now). If Trump hits 50+, that's a huge psychological and rhetorical victory. Trump is currently running at 51% in Clark County (with 15% of the country reporting). If that holds, he should be able to top 50% statewide.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2016, 01:50:15 am by RedKing »
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

smjjames

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12520 on: February 24, 2016, 02:09:56 am »

Given that Rubio is in Michigan or something atm, he's probably asleep.
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FearfulJesuit

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12521 on: February 24, 2016, 02:21:21 am »

Googling "Marco Rubio affair" mostly gives crank sites- is "The Political Insider" worth anything? Still, that'd be a twist...

EDIT: Jesus H. unicorns-fucking-on-a-pogostick Christ.

Quote from: NYT
Nearly 20% of Donald J. Trump's voters disagreed with the freeing of slaves in Southern states after the Civil War.

sauce
« Last Edit: February 24, 2016, 02:24:52 am by FearfulJesuit »
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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

darkrider2

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12522 on: February 24, 2016, 02:44:01 am »

Quote from: NYT
Nearly 20% of Donald J. Trump's voters disagreed with the freeing of slaves in Southern states after the Civil War.

Huh, it's not higher? I mean, c'mon, he makes the tea party look subtle.
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redwallzyl

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12523 on: February 24, 2016, 07:24:05 am »

Quote from: NYT
Nearly 20% of Donald J. Trump's voters disagreed with the freeing of slaves in Southern states after the Civil War.

Huh, it's not higher? I mean, c'mon, he makes the tea party look subtle.
Make America 1861 again!
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Amperzand

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12524 on: February 24, 2016, 07:31:33 am »

"Because fuck the modern era, we'll be a totalitarian nightmare and we'll like it."
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com
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