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Author Topic: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée  (Read 825471 times)

SirQuiamus

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19620 on: June 04, 2016, 01:03:15 pm »

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Ispil

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19621 on: June 04, 2016, 01:05:11 pm »

Frumple, that 3.2b self-funding does not surprise me. As I said, $20,000 for the paperwork through USCIS alone. We get to spend another $2500 in a few years just to get citizenship.
Hey, hey. 3.168b of self funding. 1% came from the fed. And I'm sure at least some millions came from passport fees and whatnot!

And by sure, I mean I just checked, and found out the USCIS doesn't handle passports at all. Welp.

But yeah, hadn't really looked at it much. Today I learned we have instantiated what appears to multi-billion dollar industry substantially dedicated using those multiple billions to make more multiple billions from people trying to immigrate (with a side order of actually helping them immigrate), apparently because our government/people cannot be arsed to give much of a fuck's worth of support for 'em.

What the fuck, country my country?

On the other hand, I guess there has to be some kind of twisted kudos given to the USCIS? They are apparently exploiting the hell out of the people they're supposed to be helping (i.e. being what can only be grotesquely inefficient and ineffective, just to maintain funding), and still managing to process quite a lot of people. It's seriously screwed straight up fucked up, but at the same time somehow somewhat impressive.

E: Definitely goes a long way towards explaining how we're apparently not beating the BAMF at the game, though. Seriously, how the hell can we let that go? We could be legitimately saying the US immigration services are more badass than the BAMF, and we're letting this opportunity slip through our gorram fingers.

I mean, people wonder why illegal immigration is a thing.
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mainiac

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19622 on: June 04, 2016, 01:25:19 pm »

To lazy to travel back in time to the lax era when my ancestors migrated.
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
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Frumple

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19623 on: June 04, 2016, 01:50:21 pm »

I'unno, I'd probably not even want to go back to the lax era when my earliest ancestors migrated, personally. No interest in dealing with megafauna and subzero temperatures whilst armed, at best, with sticks. I mean... sure, the immigration paperwork and processing was literally nonexistent, because they probably didn't know how to read or write, and the existent government was something along the lines of entirely unmetaphorical large hungry bears. But you also got ate. Think that offsets the balance, a bit. The diseases and exposure and starvation... also bad! Monetary cost was zero, though. Don't think they had currency. Still. Sometimes laxity is less than positive.
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mainiac

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19624 on: June 04, 2016, 01:55:20 pm »

whilst armed, at best, with sticks

God, why wouldn't you just invent gunpowder and airplanes?
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19625 on: June 04, 2016, 01:56:38 pm »

I'unno, I'd probably not even want to go back to the lax era when my earliest ancestors migrated, personally. No interest in dealing with megafauna and subzero temperatures whilst armed, at best, with sticks. I mean... sure, the immigration paperwork and processing was literally nonexistent, because they probably didn't know how to read or write, and the existent government was something along the lines of entirely unmetaphorical large hungry bears. But you also got ate. Think that offsets the balance, a bit. The diseases and exposure and starvation... also bad! Monetary cost was zero, though. Don't think they had currency. Still. Sometimes laxity is less than positive.
Tfw you were born too late to take part in the tea race

Tfw you will never sell Ceylon's finest whilst dying of TB

Tfw you will never collaborate with whatever invader of the week arrives

Feels bad man

Frumple

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19626 on: June 04, 2016, 02:00:23 pm »

God, why wouldn't you just invent gunpowder and airplanes?
Too busy being eaten by giant bears, mostly. You have to admit it's fairly difficult to bootstrap millennia of technological progress while you're being eaten by a giant bear.
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mainiac

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19627 on: June 04, 2016, 02:01:32 pm »

Well just call the police on your cellphone.
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
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Amperzand

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19628 on: June 04, 2016, 02:04:33 pm »

Navigate to safety with GPS, it'll be fiiiine.
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Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
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Frumple

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19629 on: June 04, 2016, 02:08:57 pm »

The police were unfortunately eaten by mammoths. Don't ask how or why herbivores ate the policemen. No one knew, and you don't inquire as to further details from the man eating mammoths. The cell towers... we don't talk about what happened to the cell towers. There wasn't any reception. There was such a lack of reception it wouldn't come back until over ten thousand years later, and no one will ever find the archaeological evidence of those towers' existence.

Don't even ask about the GPS satellites. Those went earlier. You know that crater down in the lower americas? Yeah. They think it was a meteor, these days. In reality it's what happens when you compact an excessively redundant GPS satellite system into a ball and deorbit 'em.

Seriously, shit went down back in those days. Times were interesting in the most chinese of senses, which was doubly concerning considering china didn't yet exist.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2016, 02:10:38 pm by Frumple »
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mainiac

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19630 on: June 04, 2016, 02:10:24 pm »

Well just climb in your SUV.  I dont think bears can get into those.  You really seem to be going out of your way to play the victim.

which was doubly concerning considering china didn't exist, yet.

Well it's not that weird seeing as that phrase was probably invented in the english speaking world.  As we learned from Stargate SG:1, they spoke english back in ancient egypt.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

Sheb

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19631 on: June 04, 2016, 02:11:16 pm »

I love when mainiac pretend to be annoying in one sentence, just to be genuinely annoying in the next.
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Frumple

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19632 on: June 04, 2016, 02:12:10 pm »

They were very big bears, m. The SUVs unfortunately didn't work. Seriously options were explored and then the options were eaten by bears. Turned out the sticks were the best way to survive. Less noise, less visible, etc. The bears don't eat you if they can't see you... usually, anyway.
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mainiac

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19633 on: June 04, 2016, 02:15:22 pm »

Thanks Obama!
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
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Shadowlord

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Re: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée
« Reply #19634 on: June 04, 2016, 02:16:59 pm »

Also the lack of doors and walls wouldn't help, I'm sure:
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