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Author Topic: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)  (Read 11698 times)

Kamamura

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Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« on: January 26, 2015, 05:00:04 am »

After reading the last devlog entry, I got quite excited by including poetry into the game. Towers with heaps of books full of autogenerated poetry sound exciting. So, let's not wait for the digital Urists to claim all the glory for themselves, and let's lead the charge instead, shall we?

Let's celebrate the splendid news,
after all, what's there to lose?
There's more to life than to eat and kill,
and lack of talent is a lack of will.

Be it a kiss from an awakened muse,
or a barrel of a fiery booze,
the lives of dwarves, so dark and grim (grymme?)
enlivened be with a catchy rhyme (haha)

After a session of coding hacks
(preferably with an axe)
digital bards shall spew their ballads,
sweeter in taste than plump helmet salad!
« Last Edit: January 26, 2015, 05:03:06 am by Kamamura »
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The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

That Wolf

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2015, 05:08:15 am »

Children of urist.
born of battle, raised in the deep, after 12 years of suffering, from hell they shall creep.
surrounded by hounds, thirst for more as mysterious sounds break down the door, axe in hand blood in mind, mace at the ready. Fuck the treaty the nobles signed. Its time for war open the gate lets give em some more.

Stole the first part from a sig.
Thanks
« Last Edit: January 26, 2015, 05:10:17 am by That Wolf »
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Wooster

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2015, 07:41:17 am »

A Moral Lesson drawn from The Great Magma Disaster of '58
Quote
Oh! magma is a marvellous thing
For which all dwarves must Armok's praises deliriously sing.
Yet dwarflings should show much care when it is about,
Because magma is a dangerous substance, and of that there is no doubt.

'Twas the year of '58,
And we can all remember this important date,
For in that year
Many dwarves learnt the magma to fear.

A brave young engineer had built a magnificent bridge,
Where magma passed beneath its ridge,
Though magma is a peril to dwarf and beast,
And to dwarflings never the least.

Three little dwarflings tripped along the bridge so carefreely,
Enjoying their days without troubles to see.
When all at once one stopped to look
Upon the fiery magma brook.

The second bumped the first,
The third came off the worst,
And all three tumbled into the magma sea,
Which saddened their parents to see.

So learn the lesson of the Magma Three,
Which must be clear to you and me,
That bridges over magma are not be trusted,
Unless with safety rails they have by an authorised safety engineer been encrusted.
From Gemlike Poems, by Urist "Topaz" McGonagall
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Kamamura

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2015, 07:58:49 am »


Cup of Delivering, an artifact hammer,
an object of perfection and glamour,
thou makest shorte werke of any armour,
being a subject of endless gossip and rumour.


By Grimwald the Glassbottom, a cheesmaker by trade, but able to scatter a goblin siege with his lute and poetic talent alone.
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The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

PTTG??

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2015, 01:23:57 pm »

Definitely going to play Poet Fortress when the next version comes out.
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Dirst

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2015, 02:12:54 pm »

Definitely going to play Poet Fortress when the next version comes out.
Just don't mod in Vogons.  Your computer doesn't have enough moving parts to actually get away from the poetry, but it will destroy itself trying.
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Kamamura

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2015, 03:39:40 pm »

First song performed by a metal band "Goblets of Removing" founded by survivors graduates of the dwarven child care system:

Better than drugs...
Chorus: Die, die, die!!!
Better than sex...
Chorus: Die, die, die!!!
Is clobbering someone with battleaxe!
Chorus: Die, die, die!!!


... an elaborate guitar solo followed, during which said institution burst into flames and burnt to the ground. Only the members of "Goblets of Removing" survived, as if by miracle conjured by Amrok himself.
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The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

WordsandChaos

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2015, 03:57:58 pm »

"The vital pick is down the way,
Laying near the rotted corpse
of a nervous miner I didn't know.
She wouldn't cease from carving the cave,
and though the foreman screams and roars:
So does she. I will not go."
« Last Edit: January 26, 2015, 04:07:38 pm by WordsandChaos »
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Kamamura

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2015, 04:18:56 pm »

How about a limerick:

"A wizard wielding ancient powers
once left his spell book in a shower
now the pages are wet,
and the wizard is dead,
our sweet tale has turned quite sour."
« Last Edit: January 29, 2015, 07:07:36 pm by Kamamura »
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The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

Button

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2015, 04:25:39 pm »

Vomit everywhere.
We brave the sun for Urist's
Armok-damn'd perry.
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Cobbler89

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2015, 07:53:04 pm »

Dead goblin iron
Cheap substitute for true steel
Better than elf wood


(I swear I composed this before reading that Button had already broken out the haiku!)

Definitely going to play Poet Fortress when the next version comes out.
Just don't mod in Vogons.  Your computer doesn't have enough moving parts to actually get away from the poetry, but it will destroy itself trying.
Some beasts are meant to be forgotten, indeed...
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The magma is seeping under the door.

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ArmokGoB

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2015, 09:35:20 pm »

There once was a dwarf from Boatmurdered
There was much that this one had endured
He took a tarsal in the head
And now he is dead
He should have done as he was ordered
« Last Edit: January 26, 2015, 09:46:48 pm by AlexaiZ »
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Bearskie

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2015, 10:06:23 pm »

Gold.
Gold.
GOOOOLD.
....
Adamantine.


> Urist McBearskie has meager creativity.

bahihs

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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2015, 10:40:14 pm »

We strike the earth and strike the earth
Hands to handles, picks to stone
Dig out graves, but fire the hearth
Iron lasts longer than bone

Life is short and flesh is weak
Ale and mettle to metal mail
We don our arms, though things be bleak
For someone somewhere, reads our tale

We carve our flesh into stone
For earth outlasts even death
And when we die, we die alone
And live again in readers' breath

When we fall, our halls will stand
When we sleep, our walls awake.
We dig our tombs with happy hands
Made immortal by what we make
 
Still we wonder in the dark
Will you see us as we are?
Long of beard, from our marks?
Stout of heart, from our scars?

And so we sing, arm in arm
And so we drink from our birth
And if our mirth loses charm
We strike the earth and strike the earth
 

 
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Re: Dwarven poetry (bad is the new good)
« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2015, 12:16:33 am »

Oh Mica, Pitchblende, Alunite
Obsidian and Ilmenite
The dwarf who would harness the might
Of mountain's magma, hear this song!

Green Olivine, Kaolinite
Basalt, Galena, Dolomite
White Periclase, Cassiterite
Will keep the pump stacks running long!

There's Orthoclase and Sphalerite
Talc, Sandstone, Rutile, Anhydrite
Wood (Petrified), and Magnetite
In magma's heat will all hold strong!

Raw Adamantine, Hematite
Chert, Gabbro, Chromite, red Bauxite
Plus Platinum, Calcite, Quartzite
With these stones you cannot go wrong!
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