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[Prophet]

Granted. you have a harem of giant male bears. (You weirdo )

I wish that i was a cthulhu.

[RAM]

All the other Cthulhus are cooler than you and won't let you play any Cthulhu games...

I wish for every living entity to receive a unique unnatural ability.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. They are all inane, and while magic is now a thing, it is a silly thing. The world has turned into a deadly psychedelic cesspit with bacteria sporting things such as randomized color emissions, death-radiation, and random, instant matter creation; giving the first law of thermodynamics a wedgie.
Good job.


I wish for fat-bastard coffee blend.

[Shoruke]

Granted. You are given "Fat Basterd coffee blend", which is made by grinding Fat Bastard (from Austin Powers) into powder. Should you drink it, you will get raging acne and syphilis.

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You can only lift your pants, and only while you're wearing them.

I wish I could summon a deck of cards to kill my enemies, and only my enemies.

[Prophet]

granted. your are then sniped by the police for mass murder.

I wish that i was a deity.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. But you can't get them out of the dang box.
Granted. You are the patron deity of setting yourself on fire. A very niche following.

I wish for an anvil.
inb4 it falls on me

[Prophet]

Granted. The anvil spawns above you then falls.

I wish that i knew everything there was to know.

[Lyeos]

Granted. You suddenly learn everything! You could become the ruler of the world! Or cure cancer! Or - OhgodwhyisthatathingwhydidIlearnthis?!! You go insane and die.

I wish Prophet would be successfully autopsied.

[Prophet]

Granted. But i have become everyone so they pick you as prophet number 98 to be autopsied.

I wish for a dog.

[Tawa]

Granted. Enjoy your new internet meme.

Granted. But i have become everyone so they pick you as prophet number 98 to be autopsied.

I wish for a doge.

That is what you said, right?

Anyway, I wish I wasn't too lazy to get a PGL account and sign up for the April Friendly Pokemon tournament.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. The anvil spawns above you then falls.

I wish that i knew everything there was to know.

Granted. But you can't get them out of the dang box.
Granted. You are the patron deity of setting yourself on fire. A very niche following.

I wish for an anvil.
inb4 it falls on me

[blazing glory]

Granted. Enjoy your new internet meme.

Granted. But i have become everyone so they pick you as prophet number 98 to be autopsied.

I wish for a doge.

That is what you said, right?

Anyway, I wish I wasn't too lazy to get a PGL account and sign up for the April Friendly Pokemon tournament.

Granted,however later the tournament is cancelled due to wet weather/too many sick pokemon's/cheaters/whatever.

I wish for a sammich.

[tahujdt]

Granted. However, a fat Russian with a minigun kills you and takes it.

I wish for a strange sniper rifle.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, it's an odd one alright, custom build to only fire strange Boston Bashers.

I wish for winrar.