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[TamerVirus]

Granted. But since this is 2014, you are long dead

I wish for more vibrating cartoon Vikings

[blazing glory]

Granted, the whole forums turns into one giant vibrating cartoon Viking.

I wish there were less vibrating cartoon Vikings,or knowlege that people will stop using them after 2 days.

[Xantalos]

Granted. Those two dats last forever

[Harbingerjm]

Your unstated wish is granted. You are now the little girl.

I wish Australian public transport was better -.-

[Karkov]

Granted, Australian public transport now consists of large trebuchets at every street corner, ready to fling you to your destination.  Safety not guaranteed, speed is.

I wish that I had better internet.

[tahujdt]

Granted. The phone company comes in and tears up all your wires, and will replace them with better ones 'any day now.'

(Ya know, one of my ancestors was responsible for the death of William the Conqueror.)

I wish for fish. Tasty tilapia, to be specific.

[Tidal]

Granted, but the tilapia find you tasty as well.

I wish to be Toady One the Great.

[Harbingerjm]

Granted. Nothing changes, except that the entity calling itself Edio ceases to exist.

I wish for Tahujdt and a fishing rod.

[Tawa]

Granted. Unfortunately, your avatar is forced to intensify until it is destroyed.

I wish for MORE INTENSIFICATION

[IronTomato]

Granted. This is intense. Kinda cool but also kinda scary.

I wish everyone used Rick Astley as their profile picture.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Everyone is rick-rolled, including you, for the rest of their lives.

I wish pirates were still a thing.

[Tawa]

Granted. They pass out candy and convert everyone to Pastafarianism. That is a corruption because it was likely not your intent.

I wish the whole internet intensified.

[Lyeos]

Granted. The internet becomes so intense, it is deemed a threat and quickly shut down. Forever.

I wish I was the world's greatest flute player.

[Shoruke]

Everyone else in the world becomes unable to play the flute. You become merely terrible, and unable to improve.

I wish I was telekinetic.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Your powers are so great, that you accidentally cause random objects to fly. You eventually do this on your car. While you're driving it.

I wish I was a Black Mage.