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[Tawa]

Granted. They come with a free pass to the freak show, where you can stay a while... you can even stay forever!

Granted. You are destroyed, because you ninja'd me.

I wish for even better wizard magic.

[heydude6]

granted, the gods that gave you your powers forbid you from using it.

I wish junk food was healthy

[Comrade P.]

Granted. It was healthy - I can reassure you that all the plants and animals it was made from were absolutely healthy. It's the men who messed them up.

I wish for immunity for papercuts.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Papercuts can never be held responsible for their crimes and, consequently, redouble their efforts against the world's fingers.

I wish my brain would stop throwing these false awakening dreams at me.

[Tawa]

Granted. They start having real Awakening dreams. You're the first mook that Frederick mows down.

I wish for better references.

[heydude6]

Granted, you now make call of duty references. Everyone gets those.

I wish I was a super genius

[ZalkozDestbro]

Granted, however you go insane (if you aren't already) because nobody understands you.

I wish I was good at something. Whatever it is.

[Tawa]

Granted. It's posting replies to forum games.

I wish for a d20-shaped mininuke to throw at my enemies.

[SuicideRey]

Granted. It's posting replies to forum games.

I wish for a d20-shaped mininuke to throw at my enemies.

Granted, but it's secretly a d19, dun dun duuuun!!!
Oh and it only rolls 1 resulting in critical fumble.
I wish I could control time.

[Insanegame27]

Granted, but in doing so you destroy the continu-um, and everyone dies, or never existed, or will possible could never certainly random chanced of whatever the case may be

I wish I made sense

[Pencil_Art]

Granted, but anything you say takes so long to say that it makes sense to no one but you.

I wish I had a D&D PHB.

[Insanegame27]

granted, but it got mixed in the mail and recieved a bomb
i wish I could throw better

[94dima94]

Granted. You don't get to choose WHEN to throw. You now can't pick up anything fragile or expensive, because you could just randomly throw it across the room.

I wish for a decent, legal job.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. Of course, nobody said you would keep it for more than 5 seconds...

I wish for a better world.

[Lenglon]

Granted, you die.
...
what?
he never said WHO it was better for, and it's not like you never made a single enemy over the course of your entire life.
it's a better world for them, after all.
I wish to weigh less.